I miss that familiar touch of knowing a certain sensation of feeling, the wet slide of softness sinking in, touching that silky design of emotion. I miss the feeling of comfort of having that special kind of warmth snuggling in and holding me tight.

I miss that ecstatic of magic flowing freely inside of me out through my eyes. That burning need, that missing notion of craving a feeling, missing that of needing to have it.
That silent obsession.

I miss it so much.
Something experienced physically or mentally; something felt emotionally, that delighted perceived emotion, that affection… the tenderness. That emotional response of love.

I want to be able to experience the sensation of touch. Not just that touch of fingers, or hands sliding across my body, but the touch of emotion swimming through me. I’ve not had that feeling in so long. I think I’ve forgotten where its started or when it ended. I almost had it..
Oh I came real close. But everybody knows almost doesn’t count.

And if I did feel all of those things again, I would stop breathing and forget to step back and look at the entire picture. I would allow myself to fade into the night again waiting to exhale only in the morning.

I could run to you and plead with you to tell me something unique about myself. But just exactly who is, “you” ?
I don’t know.

I know a name, a face.. All with no sound of voice, or recognition. I see your face. Your eyes. A smile that's vague with questions reering from far and near, all resonating the deepest intellectual thought but I don't know you.

I’m so blind to emotions sometimes. Reading into what's not there.

Knowing that scares me. I see so much with my eyes, yet I still feel an empty kind of pleasantry deep within.

My heart... so giving, so full of action, pumping out the multitudes of emotions that flow through every particle of my being, bubbling and brewing with so much life. Waiting at my fingertips.
Waiting.. Always waiting. But never given the opportunity to touch.

Is there satisfaction to the rule of searching for a certain something, an old familiar design yet never receiving just exactly what you thought you were looking for in the beginning?

I opened the door and looked inside, looking around a blank room for a vision of something; just anything only to revert back to where I started.

I’m not searching for anything, I’m not even expecting to the find the jewels that are kept inside of that locked box.
I know her diamonds are locked in a safe deposit box.

I found that familar design. I felt those restirring emotions of myself. I then I found myself in the fog.

I thought I almost had you figured out. Almost.