Darkness reached out to greet me. All I could do was stand as I feel my body become numb and cold. I seemed to go to sleep, but the thing was, I was standing there, wide awake, staring out of frosty windows at my so called friends.

There they are, all sitting together in our little group, or groups inside the group. There are the smart group, the comical group, and the popular, well, they think they are any way.

I was walking towards them as I all ways do when I arrive; bag swinging off my right shoulder to thump on the back of my bare legs, my hat pulled down to shade my eyes from the glaring sun; when I looked up from the ground as I walked and suddenly saw something wrong.

My friends were all sitting there, talking to each other and laughing, as they do. But something was not right, I could feel it on the air. My senses seemed to tense, like they do when I know a predator is out for the kill. I thought this feeling may mean someone wanted to hurt my friends, or something bad was coming. I decided to hurry forward to warn them of my fear, but when I heard what they were talking about it made me stop, and listen behind the bushes in front of me so I couldn‘t see them, and they couldn‘t see me.

“Oh my god! She didn’t!” a girl laughed, I couldn’t tell who it was, but another girl answered, “She did! It was so funny!”

“What you guys talking about? Who did what?” asked a guy I could hear coming closer to the two girls to join the conversation.

“Katrina! That’s who!” the first girl laughed.

I froze mid breath; they were talking about me?

“Oh yeah, her! So what did that freak do now?” asked another guy joining the group as they got larger and larger, with people listening to this new gossip.

I could hardly breathe, my chest seemed to tighten, and a pain started in my head; they call me a freak?

“Oh yeah, well you know Katrina, she was talking to herself again.” the first girl explained.

I was shocked; I talk to myself?

“Yeah we all ready know she dose that. So what?” demanded another.

“But this time we were in middle of class, you know we had to do reading for English? She was practically reciting out of the book to the whole room, and the rest of the room was quite! It was so funny!” the girl replied to the horrible laughter of everyone sitting there.

My lungs seemed to be filled with ice, jabbing into the sides and making my breath come out in puffs of cold smoke. My stomach seemed to have disappeared, leaving my insides empty, and the pain in my head became more intense.

But, I think, we didn’t read any books in class today?

“Oh yeah, on Katrina. What about Semi-Formal tables? There’s to many of us to fit on one table. Do you think we should vote her off?” asked another girl to the group around her.

Now the darkness seemed to creep into my body and fog up my brain, and stain my bones black; They were kicking me off the table?

My vision swirled before me as my eyes filled with icy tears. But as my tears fell down my face leaving cold trails, a fire grew some where in my chest and my empty gut, all most burning, scolding and melting.

How dare they!

I’m standing out in the cold. My hair is up in delicate buns, and my face has been painted with make-up. I am in a fresh delicate dress, feet dressed in high-heels. I am here for my Semi-Formal; dressed like a little innocent flower. All my fears and hurt is forgotten as I walk forward into the building; feeling that nothing could ruin my night. Tonight I shed my shell; my uniform gone, I am not hiding behind my glasses, I am here, this is me. And nothing could spoil this.

I walk through the door, all warm and bubbling; a bright spring flower. Then suddenly a winter storm swarms over me, leaving me cold and empty inside. I found my friends table; but there is no chair for me.

My fears have come alive, eating away at me as I stand and watch my friends sit together laughing; each breath they take seems to tear at me. I am left cold, a spring flower that has wilted; I don’t feel so beautiful any more. I suddenly feel uncovered and unprotected in my dress, I feel ridiculous with make-up on my face.

What am I doing? I shouldn’t be here!

“Oh! Katrina! I-I didn’t know you were coming!” called one of the girls at the table, getting up and coming towards me.

Get away from me! Traitor!

But she hugs me and I hug her back, I plast a smile on my lips, instead of crying and howling my despair as I wish to do.

They make up a great story, saying no one knew I was coming, or they thought they had enough chairs for all of us, but I keep smiling and replying that it’s okay and I don’t mind; although I can feel my hands go cold, and my breath hot from the angry fires inside of me.

We stay for dinner, and music, then it is time to go home.

My angry fires have burned down to leave me only with smoldering cols, and I am surprised that my body is not covered in icicles and frost.

I stand outside, waiting for my ride back home, and I see my friends all huddled together aside from me; I stand alone.

They are all going to an after party at one of the girls houses, and many are sleeping over for the night; I am not invited.

I do not even have the heart in it to boil in fury at the injustice of it all, all I am left to do is stand, hollow and quite; like a shadow with out a purpose.

There they all go, but here I stand, alone, to wait in the cold on a lonely street corner, for my ride home.