Chapter 2: Swimming in Stars

Within moments of Hannah and me arriving at the party, she left my side without so much as a "goodbye". I sighed knowing that this would happen. But there were two things that this party had that my home did not, beer and actual people. I shimmied my way through a bunch of strangers to grab a beer. When I finally got one, I surveyed the people around me, the people I had just brushed past. They were all doing different things, some kissing, some were talking, drinking, fighting, and some of them were practically doing it in front of everyone.

I sighed disgustingly. No, that was a lie. I sighed jealously. I wish I had all of those things, even the fighting. I wish I was worth fighting with. That someone would take the time out of their day to think of nasty things to say to me.

I couldn't stand staying there, watching everyone else have fun, while I stood there all by myself, just watching. So, instead, I headed up the stairs, content on being alone. I don't know why I thought that one of the bedrooms would be empty, I mean it was a party after all.

But there was one particular room that I would never forget. There were five bedrooms in all. And with all of them I did the same thing, the same routine. I listened through the door, if I heard nothing, I knocked and listened for a "go away", and if I didn't get any of those, I gently turned the knob to see if it was locked. And of course all of them were. But that wasn't that important.

The one bedroom that was important, was the last one I tried. I did the whole routine, but there was still no noise from inside. And I gently turned the door knob, but there was no lock noise. It was unlocked. I thought that I had finally found an empty bedroom, so I turned the knob all the way and pushed open the door. As soon as I entered I regretted it. Well, at least at the time I did, I'm not so sure if I still do though.

When I entered I was surprised at what I saw. There, on the bed was a boy and girl in the middle of well you know. The boy's head flexed towards the door at the sound of it opening. He looked at me with heavy eyes, they were clouded over with pleasure at whatever the girl beneath him was doing at the moment. Then as if he'd never looked at me in the first place, he turned his attention back down at the chick. The girl didn't even bat an eyelash.

"Oh, my God," I wasn't sure what shocked me more, the fact that I walked in on them in the middle of that, or that they were unfazed by the fact that I was still standing there.

I suddenly replayed that last part over in my head, I was still standing there. Quickly, I walked backward out the door and shut it quickly, yet quietly. Trying to get rid of the evidence that I ever entered that room. I sighed with relief when I noticed that, unlike before, no one was standing in the hallway. No one would ever have to know. Except of course them, but they were probably too caught up in the moment to even remember me walking in. I was about to go back downstairs when I realized why it all happened. So to keep anyone else from the same embarrassment that I had been exposed to, I opened the door just enough to snake my hand in and lock the door. Then, I turned around and walked back downstairs.

When I got downstairs I noticed that nothing had changed . I grabbed another beer and went out the back door, stepping into the dark coldness of outside. The cold October air hit my face at full force. The time I had spent inside had caused me to forget about the freezing temperatures outside. The air must have been too cold for all of the party-goers because the only people out there were me and a couple standing by the back door, too engrossed in each other to even notice my presence. I sighed, stepping down the steps of the back porch and onto the muddy, perfectly trimmed grass. It seemed like everywhere I go there's a couple together. I looked behind me as I walked away from them, he had her locked in his arms attempting to shield her from the cold and they were staring up at the stars. For some reason I felt that I was invading them, invading the secret aurora surrounding them. I had always wanted someone to do that with, but I've always felt that maybe, just maybe that wasn't meant for me. I would never experience such a precious moment.

When I was finally a reasonable distance away from all of the excitement I sat in the wet, muddy grass. Not really caring about how dirty I got, I laid down. Craning my neck up towards the sky. The stars were bright and beautiful, endless, and gray, swallowed by the vast blackness of space.

I stared up at the stars for what seemed like only seconds, but in reality, nearly a full hour. "There's the Little Dipper," spoke a voice from just a couple of feet behind me, a voice I've never heard before. I whipped my head around to where the voice had came from, only to see the boy I saw earlier. The boy I had saw in the bedroom. The boy I had discovered in the middle of that.

"The scientific term is actually Ursa Minor," he continued, pointing up to the stars. I followed his finger to the sky. And there it was. The Little Dipper connected to the north star. I had always heard about all of the different constellations, but I've never actually knew which was what and where to look.

"How would you know?" I asked. Asking this surprised me. I usually never spoke a word to people I just met, strangers, people whose names I didn't even know.

"When I was little I always wanted to be an astronomer. I wanted one of those fancy telescopes to see everything you could up in the sky, all the stars, and planets, and such. Never really got one so instead I just studied everything and anything about the universe," he said, taking a sit next to me on the dewy grass.

I studied him in the dim light coming from the still-full blast party going on only a few feet back. He was still staring up at the sky, completely entranced in what he saw there. He was lying there with his elbows leveled to hold his upper body up, with his head tilted up at the sky.

I stopped myself from staring at him and turned my attention back at the stars above. I felt something warm and heavy on my left hand. I looked down at it and saw his right hand was over my left. I didn't say anything to him about it, because his hand was warming mine up and it just felt so good to have human contact with another person.

I looked at him then. His eyes connecting with mine in the dark. Blue on blue. It was like I could see a star in his eyes, just one. Just one on the right side of each eye, located in the iris, surrounded by the electric blue there. I felt the urge to swim in the sea of his eye, surrounded by that single star, completely uncaring that I would be electrocuted by the intensity.

There was a sound from the sky above us. A loud thundering roar of thunder. It broke through my trance like a baseball through a window, breaking every square inch of my thought into little itty bitty tiny pieces. I looked up to the sky, once filled with millions of stars, now filled with big, thick, dark, rain clouds. When did that happen?

My attention was so blindsided by the clouds that I didn't notice the smooth, cool lips coming towards my own until they were already there. I opened my eyes wide. I have only been kissed once before and that was with one of my guy friends because of a dare. I had no clue what to do next, the last time he just thrust his tongue down my throat and all I had to do was sit there and let it all happen.

But this was different, really different, all I could feel were his soft lips moving against my own. I decided that the best course of action to take was to also move my lips against his, like I have seen many times before. I kept my eyes open until he opened his and, out of embarrassment I closed my own.

Gently, I felt his tongue against my mouth, begging for entrance. And I did the only thing I know how, I accepted, I opened my mouth. His tongue gently slipped in. Our tongues danced like mosquitoes under a fading light.

I dropped the warm bottle of beer still in my hands because at that point I no longer needed it. I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer. He was leaning over from where he was laying with both hands on either side of me, trapping my upper half beneath him.

His hands moved from my sides as he shifted his body so that he was now completely on top of me. He relocated his hands to the small of my back, moving them slowly upward. I ran my hands through his dark hair, combing it through my fingers. My whole body was on fire, almost bursting with happiness. The clouds above us choose just this every moment to unleash its rain upon us. It was so heavy that we were soaked through within moments. Neither of us cared though, we were too caught up in each other.

The feel of his hands running up the length of my back caused the feeling of static electricity to run all through my body. I shivered from the feeling. It was so new, so exciting, and oh so dangerous. One of his hands moved from my back to my breast and grabbed it through my bra's material. I gasped. From either shock or pleasure. I mean I have never gone this far with a guy before in my whole life. He just rounded second base and I didn't even know his first name. But damn was I ready to let him slide into third.

We stayed that way for a long time, making out in the rain. But it never went any further than that though. My bra never came off and his hands never traveled any lower than my stomach.

It all ended when he pulled away from me and began to stare steadily into my eyes. He brushed my wet bangs out of my eyes. I pulled my hands away from the nape of his neck to do the same with his hair. I used the rain as gel to hold his hair out of his eyes. I didn't realize it then, but that would become a habit of mine. Always brushing his hair out of his eyes, when he was crying, happy, sad, or excited. Never when he was mad though. No, I know better than to come within arms length of him when he's mad or else his hands would come out of nowhere and strike. Like a hyena, finding its way into a lions den, only to suffer the consequences. It was his space and I knew better than to invade at those times. After wards though, during the aftermath of his wrath, I loved brushing his hair away from his eyes to see the regret, the sadness, all too visible there, all too familiar.

But at this moment, this time, none of that was real for me, just something I see in the movies or my parents. But not with us, no never with us, only happiness with us. Just this moment is real.

"What's your name?" I asked, after the long moments of silently staring into each others eyes.

"Ian. Ian Curman. You?" he said steadily, his eyes never leaving mine, not even to blink.

"Alex Walter," I replied, my voice barely a whisper, the only evidence of ever saying it at all was the ice cold breath that echoed out as I spoke.

Ian finally got off me and looked at the watch on his wrist. He sighed, looking back behind us at the quieted down party. I sat up also and craned my neck back to also catch a glance of the house. It looked a lot more calmer than before. It seemed as if everyone had left, or were in the process of leaving. The couple from earlier were no longer out here.

"Do you want a ride home or something?" Ian asked. I looked back at him as he spoke, only this time he wasn't looking back at me, he was staring seemingly at the grass, pulling out bits from the ground, and playing with it between his fingers.

"Um... I don't know. I'm supposed to go over my friend's house, but she's probably wasted," I said, looking anywhere but him. The trees suddenly grew extremely interesting to me, the wind from the storm blew the limbs gently causing them to do their own secret little dance.

"Well, come on, then," he stood up and held out his hand to me. The moment my hand touched his I felt something go through me. Nothing like the bolt of electricity I felt when we kissed. This feeling was completely different. It felt as if I had caught fire deep within my chest, spreading throughout my body. I felt it everywhere, to the very core of my being, in every single hair on my body. It was as if my whole body was ice before and now was warm. That before our hands touched I was nothing, but a corpse and now I was alive again.

When I stood, his hand was still on mine, holding it there. He laced our fingers together as we walked back to the party. I felt my cheeks become a hot red as he did this. It was still pouring down rain. The wetness clung to both of us. Our clothes hanging limply off of our bodies.

As we walked through the door I felt an overpowering urge to tell someone, anyone about what had just happened. Tell them about all the different feelings I felt after meeting the beautiful, bright blue-eyed stranger. But I couldn't, I wouldn't, everything that just happened was our secret, mine, his, the stars, and the rain. And I didn't want anyone interfering, threatening to take the feelings away. I put all those feelings into a little box and placed them in my pocket once we were inside.

There were eyes watching us, I could feel them, I could see them. "Hey, Ian, man," came a voice from behind us. The guy that had called out to Ian came walking towards us, beer in hand. He had blonde hair that hung a little passed his eyes, like Ian's, but blonde. He had three facial piercings in his nose, eyebrow, and lip. He had dark brown eyes filled with nothing but happiness, so completely different from Ian.

They did their whole slide of the hands thing. His friend looked at me and smirked, his eyes running over me, sizing me up. He smiled brightly and leaned over to whisper into Ian's ear. Ian rolled his eyes and pushed him away. He tightened his hold on my hand and pulled me back in the direction of the front door. "Hey, just tell me how it was," his friend yelled at our retreating backs. Ian didn't turn around, or even acknowledge what he had said.

When we got outside, I looked all around me, trying to find Hannah, but she was nowhere in sight. A part of me wished I could find her, so that I'd have an excuse to not go with him. But another part of me was glad that I couldn't find her because for the first time in a long time a guy wanted to be by me. Regardless of what my brain told me, I didn't really have much of a chioce. I mean, Hannah was no where in sight and it was way too late to take the bus, it would take forever for it to finally arrive.

His car was a piece of shit. It was a blue Honda Accord. At least that's what I figured. Most of the paint was scratched off so the car had more of a gray look to it. Rust had eaten up parts of the car, including the latch to the gas tank, so you could see right through it. The car had obviously been in more than one serious accident. Both the front and back were smashed up pretty badly. The headlights and the side mirrors were held together with merely duct tape.

I passed in front of the passengers door. I was soaked so I was reluctant to get in, not wanting to get the torn seat wet. Ian got in the driver's side door and leaned over the seats to open my door for me. "The driver's door is the only one that opens from the outside. It's a little harder to get out of. But at least it opens, unlike the ones in the back."

I shrugged and got in. The moment my butt hit the seat I felt the spring of it dig into my skin. I moved about trying to find a comfortable position, but came to the conclusion that I was as comfortable as I was going to get.

Ian put the key in the ignition and after about the fourth attempt at starting the car it finally roared to life. There was a home radio on the floorboard next to my feet, he leaned over and turned it onto the cd that was inside. Classic rock music blasted from the tiny speakers of the radio, knocking all of my thoughts out of my head. He put the car in reverse and high-tailed us out of the parking space, and sped down the road.