A/N:As mentioned earlier, this is one of my darker fics, but based on some of the things I’ve read on this site, it’s actually not too bad. Yet it’s still not for the week of heart. This is a song fic based on Kelly Clarkson’s “Addicted.” All I could think of when I first heard the song was a beautiful boy who found himself trapped in an abusive relationship, and so that’s exactly what this is. Yaoi, slight N/C, blood

Addicted

It was just another mark. Just another painful mark, which would leave just another memorable scar. It wasn’t going to kill him. The ache in his heart would kill him before any of the marks would.

Soran shuddered as he exited the dreary apartment. It had happened again, and he had done nothing to stop it. He had practically let it happened even though he knew he was only digging a bigger and bigger hole.

Shakily, he pulled out a cigarette from his pocket and lit it. Then he bought it to his lips and inhaled deeply. He didn’t use to smoke, he used to find it disgusting. But now it was the only way for him to find comfort after nights such as these. It was one of his newly found addictions.

He exhaled and then sat on the steps of the apartment, having not moved since he shut the door. There was a sickening feeling that spread through his stomach as he reached toward his neck.

It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around

His slender fingers ran over the two very tender and swollen marks on his pale neck. Just the thought of them made it so that he had difficulty breathing. He would never have let something like this happen if it weren’t for Vincent. But even still, he never thought it was going to get this bad.

Frustrated he buried his face in his hands, dropping the cigarette to the ground. His first love had been turned into a monster and it was entirely his fault. He had fueled his lover’s desire, and as a result things had gotten out of hand in the worst way. But he just couldn’t bring himself to run away now, even though it was the most logical thing for him to do.

It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

“What are you still doing here?” Vincent grumbled from behind him. “Why haven’t you gone home yet?”

A chill went down his spine as Soran realized he was still at Vincent’s apartment. It was too late for him to run now. “I couldn’t just leave.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He responded angrily. “Do you want me to bite you again?” He then bent down next to Soran and leaned over to whisper in his ear. “Do you want me to screw you again?”

No that’s not what I want! He screamed inside as he felt himself close to tears. “If it’s what you want.” He responded dejectedly and felt as though he had died. This isn’t what I want, that wasn’t what I wanted to say…

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

“You’re pathetic Soran.” He responded and then stood again. “You should’ve realized by now, that’s all I want from you, and you should run away.”

No don’t say that. “I can’t run away.” He mumbled and felt a tear stream down his cheek.

“And why the hell not?! Because we’re friends?!” He screamed and then grabbed Soran by the arm and pulled him inside the apartment, slamming the door. “You should’ve left when you had the chance.”

Please god, not again. He begged as he was pinned to the wall.

God isn’t listening fool you’ve brought this on yourself..

What? His heart filled with dread as his felt himself being stripped of his shirt. Who’s voice was that?

You’ll never escape if you don’t leave him now.

I know that! He responded, closing his eyes as he felt teeth brush against his skin. “Please stop Vincent.” He spoke up softly, weakly fighting against the demon looming over him.

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now

Stunned, Vincent pulled back, crossing his arms. “What?!” He spit back, red eyes glaring intensely. “You wanted this, or you would have run when you had the opportunity.”

“No, I don’t want this Vincent. I don’t want it like this.” He responded, emphasizing his point by gesturing towards his neck. “This isn’t what I want.” He repeated starting to lose his breath.

“Then what do you want?” He grumbled annoyed.

“I want your love Vincent, not the violence you keep giving me.” He responded his legs failing him as he fell to the floor.

“There’s no love inside me anymore. You should know that by now.” He responded and crawled on top of the exasperate boy on the floor. He then began licking up the boy’s bare chest, finishing at the neck. He then bit down harshly, just above the previous mark.

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

Soran felt dead as he was being drained again. If this was all he was able to get from Vincent it would have to be enough, at least that’s how he rationalized this torture to himself.

Vincent then forced his tongue into Soran’s mouth and Soran accepted it, returning with the same amount of lust into Vincent’s mouth. The two of them forced their tongues as far as they could go into the other’s mouth. Wild passion coursed through both of their bodies.

This is the last time. Never again. Soran reflected as he felt his tongue being pierced by his aggressor’s sharp teeth. He could now taste his own blood, and still failed to see why Vincent craved it so much.

He withdrew and then explored the boy’s pale chest, leaving several bite marks along the way. He had never bitten Soran’s chest and so this caused a startled scream to escape.

“Don’t scream like you don’t enjoy it.” Vincent mocked as he pulled off the trembling boy’s pants and boxers. “I know full well you’re enjoying yourself.” He finished as he lowered he mouth towards Soran’s enlarged manhood.

No. Yes. No His conflicting emotions caused him to reach the edge of insanity as Vincent began scrapping his teeth against his manhood. A groan escaped his body as well as a tear.

Vincent pulled away briefly. “I knew you enjoyed it.” He then continued his ministrations.

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this

Soran held back a scream as Vincent entered him. He felt both awful and wonderful at the same time. There was no longer a relationship for Vincent, it was pure lust, but for Soran it was different. His love for Vincent was an addiction, and as pain spread throughout his body he finally realized it.

There was no restraint in Vincent’s thrusts. It seemed as though he was doing this only to cause Soran pain. He knew no mercy. And as he reached his climax he merely bit into the bloody boy’s neck once again, as the boy screamed out his name.

Panting, Vincent withdrew from the still body bellow him. He then put on his own pants and stood. “That is the only love you’ll ever get from me. If you were smart you’d forget that stupid word and never return.” He stated and then left Soran on the cold floor, bloody and broken.

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this

Soran fell to his bed, dressed in his battered clothes which were smeared with blood. He had barely enough energy to return to his own apartment. The consistent shaking and tears had added to his exhaustion.

Rolling over slowly he painfully reached for his cigarettes, but found them to be missing. Sighing his closed his eyes, trying to breathe rhythmically as a form of meditation, but failing miserably.

Vincent was there when he closed his eyes. His deranged eyes and demon fangs following Soran wherever he went and whatever he was doing. The blood stained sheets that restrained him, haunted him in his dreams, leaving him paralyzed in fear.

He reached towards the night stand and grabbed the two pill bottles that were there. He took both the sleeping pill, followed right after by the anti-depressant and then returned the bottles to their place. He then opened the drawer and took out a pocket knife.

He cut a thin slice in his left wrist and watched the blood drip onto his sheets. Another sliced followed the first, and he repeated it until there were five slices on his wrist, each one getting a little deeper.

He’ll have plenty of blood in the morning. He thought wearily and then dropped the blade onto the floor.

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me