I stood at the edge, turning my face to the wind, the salty sea air biting, yet refreshing me. Thinking I was alone, I took my time, going slightly faster than a snail, my loose clothes billowing out behind me, a smile on my face.

You gave a shout, causing me to turn my head sharply. Normally the sun would have impaired my vision, but in this sky there was neither sun nor moon, only a mass of slightly glowing clouds.

You seemed not to understand my intentions; you ran and shouted at me, and I, being rushed, jumped off the cliff into the rampant sea. I heard you give a strangled cry right before I landed in the Place, for it was no longer just a Sea. It felt a little like water, but even more was the presence of dreams and hazy memories and good, full things.

Summertime, chocolate, warm hugs, and good surprises surrounded me, so much that the only way I still knew I was in water was a memory of jumping in- at first cold, then the temperature adjusting itself to my liking.

The overall feeling was so great, so intense, no words shall ever be able to describe it. I was- for want of a better word- floating, almost, but I was also living bits and pieces of summer memories and times that fill you with such an inexplicable feeling that you end up feeling good for days afterwards.

But you had misunderstood me.

There was a splash nearby, and I saw your frantic face, eyes wide, cheeks puffed out in a humorous fish face. But you didn’t take the time to understand, to breathe in the wonderful stuff. You just never took the time to think.

So you assumed that I had been trying to do something terrible to myself.

I shook my head vigorously, motioned with my hands at the Place, this wonderful Place that I was no beginning to belong to.

It had been a long time since I had belonged.

So I opened by voice, something I hadn’t been able to do in the place I had escaped from.

Words bubbled out, words that didn’t go right together, words that were made up, and words I didn’t know the meaning to. It didn’t matter- the sound was enough.

You looked terror-stricken, and roughly grabbed me and threw me in a nearby Outway, one of the many littered everywhere.

Many ways out, but only a dangerous few in, I thought angrily was you pushed me through and irritably dragged me to the shore.

The happiness, the fullness…it was gone. I was back Here, away from all that is happy and safe.

You glared at me and your gaze said it all, as we were now Here, where we couldn’t talk- speech was a thing of security and joy, therefore I was taken away.

Your gaze said, ‘What do you think you’re doing? You belong Here. ForeverYou can’t Be anywhere Else. Too much of you is Here- no matter what you want. Remember that.’

I looked into your eyes. You kidnapped me from Sanity. I felt bitter.

I lay on the shore sand, knowing that as soon as the Sanity dried off me, the horrible things would be Here again. The nightmares worse than nightmares, because you never woke up; the bloodshot, grimy people who knew everything you ever feared and would’ve if you had known about it. The Trinkers, who brought back things from your past, which caused so much pain and hurt, so much, that your soul would bleed and your heart would rip, and people would take them and hang them on their walls as trinkets.

I shivered, and held myself closer as the Place, the Sanity, dried off, leaving my hair crusty as if from seawater.

I stared across the champagne colored waves and wished that I wasn’t a scary Creature of this place, this place Here of which I know the Sanes joked about, this Insanity.

I held the gun to my head, standing in front of a mirror. I had not arranged it that way, I had just randomly decided that now was the time to show them, to tell them off, and reveal what I really was. The last thing I had seen was the smirk on my face, and the horror on my little brother’s face reflected in the mirror, as I pulled the trigger.

If only I had a second Chance. If only I had realized what a terror this really is, before I sealed my fate with an act of rashness. But you only get one. One Chance. I felt astringent. I had blown it al, ruined my Eternity, with a simple move of a finger.

The Sanity had almost dried off me, only a bit remained on the very ends of my hair. I was becoming the monster that I was, the horrifying Creature that caused peoples pain and hurt unimaginable, just as the other Creatures did to me.

But, now, I knew I was different. I was stronger, angrier, more hurt. I had been in Sanity, tasted it, loved it, yearned for it, and now Here I was, an Insane just as I was always destined to be.

I was a more dangerous Creature, a Creature who had had a taste of what I wanted, but had had it taken from me after a very short- yet blissful –time.

I was enraged. Since I couldn’t have it back, everyone else Here would feel my fury, and suffer.

I would inflict Pain, and get it. I would not know how to stop, how to calm myself down.

I live in the terrible reality of Insanity.

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Finished, October 21st, 2005.

Enjoy.