don't

by spootasia tomoe

--

--

don’t look at me like that

I know the words

I get the meanings

I can see, damnit

and don’t shout

I’m not deaf.

I just don’t always listen

--

don’t belittle me like that

I can make a plasma

in the microwave

I can theoretically get a five on my AP exam

and theoretically get into ivy league schools

I can hang out with the math elite

and teach the socially awkward

how to speak

what did you do at my age?

--

don’t click your tongue that way

that way that makes me feel

as if I was back in the shore house again

as a child, unknowing and keen,

that time I left the door open

when so many things fell out

that I thought you knew how to put back in

--

don’t shake your head

telling me that opinions

are for people who can vote

who can fight and who can clean

for people who don’t

stick music in their ears

which isn’t even grammatically correct

don’t tell me what to think

when you don’t make sense

--

and don’t say I don’t love you

or that I don’t care

because you sacrificed everything for me

spent everything on me

every breath

and brought me to this place

where I can think and I can stretch

beyond my limits into something

that seems to make you proud

that you smile at

--

don’t turn around

because I might not be able

to say this to your face

but I look up to you,

love you,

know that you

love me

and you’re the best thing that ever happened

to this difficult to deal with teen

(I apologize for the hormones,

really)

and that time at the shore

when you ran back in

and tried to pick up the pieces

that time you cut yourself

when you couldn’t turn back time

even though you tried

I realized that,

for you mother,

I will do what I have done for no one

not even myself

for you

I will lay down what was my life

and change