WARNING: This has a religious basis and the character will bash God and religion. I am not insulting anyone, but merely investigating and doing experiments with an insane mind. It is a piece I wrote for my Forensic League team, which I have yet to perform

If you have any thoughts, comments, or constructive criticism, I'll be happy to check them out. Flames towards my story and myself will not be tolerated. Let's leave it at that.

All the Days of My Life

(She is curled up in a chair, arms around drawn up legs and chin on knees, rocking back and forth). The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. They seemed like wise words before. Follow the Lord, the path of enlightenment, and you will not lack anything, you will not want anything. And God, did I follow it. (she stands up, on the verge of tears) I followed it, Lord! Why didn't You help me? WHY DID I STILL LUST? (runs a hand down her face, shaking) You abandoned me. I believed in You, I thought You were Divine Providence... and here I am. (voice cracks) Why didn't You listen?

(Pause)He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. (Ironic laugh) Oh yes, lie down in green pastures. Pastures of pain and hatred, more like. Still waters? (angry now) Waters that rippled, and teased, and inundated me, making feel like I was drowning in a deluge of emotions that I didn't want! I turned to You so that you could help me! I repented for not believing and THIS IS HOW YOU THANK ME? (furious with herself) And I believed Your words. I lied down in Your pastures and I walked by Your waters. I was swayed by Your thoughts, Your kind caresses, Your alluring nature. How could I have been so blind? I don't know why I did it... nor how I survived...

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. (thinks, snorts) Restored my soul? Restored my soul? I'm locked in a room of darkness, a void of pain. There are walls that surround me here and I can't move more than two feet in any direction. I can't see anything. There's nothing here but my body... and a chair. My body, a chair, and Your words. Your (mocking) paths of righteousness. I have no soul. You tore it out of me the day You abandoned me! Paths of righteousness? I ended up in a void that is sucking out what is left of me like a greedy carnivore! There are – no – paths – of righteousness! (glares upward)

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Oh yes, I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I walk upon the graves of my ancestors, who are turning in fury at me! They believed You! They sucked in your words as if they were the stuff of life and You... You fed on them! On their souls! They gave everything to You, just like I did! AND THIS IS HOW YOU WOULD THANK US? YOU WOULD TOSS US TO THE WOLVES! (breaks off suddenly with a sharp jolt and a gasp, looking to her right fearfully).

(whispering) I haven't done anything, I swear... Even if He isn't with me. Even if He has not comforted me. Even if He left me in the valley and left me to fear everything. Fear the world. Fear evil. (twitching)Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. The table before my enemies was empty... It didn't even exist. (falls to her knees on the floor, rocking back and forth with her arms around her body). I had no barrier between me and my demons. You prepared no protection, You gave me no divine love... my cup was empty. I was unfulfilled.

And now I lay here, wondering on the life that You yanked me out of with no warning, no ceremony. This isn't a test. You have killed me and banished me. I am in Hell. Lucifer lurks in every corner, waiting with glee at the prospect of another body to torture, another mind to twist. (starts shivering madly) You have given me nothing.

(clambers over to chair and hauls herself into it, curling up again, shivering madly) (whispers) Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. (laugh broken by sobs) Yes. All the days of my life. I will dwell here, in this void that tears at my mind and rips at my body... all... the days... of my life.

Thank you for reading this. You may or may not leave a review, though I'd appreciate it if you would.

Summer Goose