Why I Hate Barney Poem

I hate his sugarcoatedness
And his show’s deception and lies.
I hate the stupid kids on the show.
I really wish he would die.

I hate his eyes and stupid voice
And his purple-colored skin.
If he were in a fight with the real T. Rex,
I think the T. Rex would win.

I hate that everything is done in unison
Including the choreography of their dance.
It makes me think the kids are in a cult
Where they never give individuality a chance.

I hate the accursed Barney-lovers
Giving people grief with all his sap.
I wish PBS would take it off the air
Along with Teletubbies, the other crap.

I hate that I pity the poor parents who are forced to watch the show
For the sake of their kids’ happiness.
I could imagine them getting a headache
From all the show’s annoying sappiness.

I hate that the show denies all negative feelings
Which can lead to depression later on.
It’s not healthy to be that happy all the time
Especially when you’re with someone looking for somebody to take his/ her aggression on.

I hate that anyone considers this crap educational.
All it shows is a bunch of kids getting paid and a stupid singing dinosaur.
I wish a whole bunch of people from Jerry Springer
Would go on the show to beat him up until he’s real sore.

I cringe every time I see his DVD on TV.
Who would bestupid enough to buy it?
If you’re a Barney-lover and think that anyone would benefit from his crap,
Then you’re a real idiot thinking of wasting your money on this shit!

These are several reasons why I hate Barney.
I wish I could think up more
But I see that many of you have that covered.
Right now, I have to think up more ways to kill that stupid pathetic dinosaur.