I’ll hold you in my heart as a memory and dream—
Pretend it’s not something I believed;
That I haven’t loved and haven’t lost—
And have not a care for all the costs!

You slipped away—as grains of sand—
To slide through—fluidly—through my hands!
Yet I never held you—it was but a wish!
I never felt your love or kiss!

You’ve always been but a distant desire—
Nothing near what my heart requires—
Nothing near what I crave to have;
And nothing that could ever last!

Nothing I could ever feel—
Could ever turn out to be real;
To be in my heart and soul at last—
For my walls would never let you pass!

So it is then but a useless dream!
A waste of time that I believed!
I haven’t lived or felt your touch—
I wish I didn’t care so much!

Chantrea Johari
02 November 2005