a/n: does anyone else hate the patriots as much as i do? leave a review and complain about how much they suck OR flame me about how u think they rock when in fact they DON'T

Sincerely

I sighed happily, staring at my letter. It was perfect. Before I continue, there are some things that must be made clear about me. First off, I absolutely hate the New England Patriots. I loathe them with a fiery passion, in fact. You may or may not know, depending, that one of their players, Tedy Bruschi, had a stroke after the Pro-Bowl last year. Last night was his big return to the NFL and the Patriots just happened to be playing my home team; the Buffalo Bills. I must say, while trying to watch that game, I had never heard a more biased commentator in my life.

There I was, sitting on my brand new leather couch, steeling myself for the blow out I was sure was about to come, seeing how the Bills sucked… From all the camera action, I could have sworn that I’d turned the channel to a Patriot photo shoot. I swear, I never even saw a player from the Bills, not even in the back round, until the game actually started. It was all ‘Tedy Bruschi’ this and ‘Tedy Bruschi’ that. I mean, I’m not bitter, but goddamn! They had a freaking stroke and now he’s playing football eight months later?! WTF, man?! What was his wife thinking when she let him go back?!

Even worse than that though, was right before the network went to commercial. They started playing the song, ‘Hero’ by Chad Krouger and Josey Scott as Tedy Bruschi flashes onto the screen. Jesus. By this time, I was ready to turn on my radio and just watch the game on TV with no sound, even though I have satellite and the radio would have been ahead, because at least they wouldn’t be dedicating the game to the freaking guy. God… a hero indeed…. (NFL Sunday Ticket dude!)

A smile spread across my features as and idea formulated in my head…. Why not indeed….

So here I sit at my desk, rereading this letter I’ve written to Tedy Bruschi expressing my concerns for his health…. This should solve his little publicity problem…. Even though the Bills didn’t really lose in a blow out, they still lost. 21-16. Not bad… We managed to scare them, I should think. After all, Buffalo really sucks.

Dear Mr. Tedy Bruschi,

I am very sorry to hear of your unfortunate stroke, but I am happy that you have been able to bounce back into the NFL so quickly. Oh, please don’t get me wrong, I absolutely hate you team. I do, however, implore you to be careful about your pending condition. You seem to be something of a ‘hero’ for your team since your photo- I mean game against Buffalo on Sunday night, October 30th. Therefore, I am proposing that you change your number from 54, to a letter; S. It will stand for Superman, of course. I mean, after all, you are the savior for the Patriots, yes? Please take this into consideration when you are next talking to your coach.

Sincerely,

A concerned Buffalo Bills fan

I gave it another once over before I addressed the envelope. I slid that sucker into said envelope, sealed it, slapped a self-adhesive stamp on it, and ran it out to my mailbox. Last, but definitely not least, I whipped the little red flag up so the mailman would know that I had something that had to be mailed out.

Next week will serve to be interesting and Mr. Bruschi might find himself with another letter much like mine sitting in his mailbox. After all, the Patriots are playing the Colts on Monday night, and we all know that I love the Colts even more than the Bills…. ;)

Owari