Not you, Just Them

By Unity-Girl

Sometimes I wonder to myself:

Why did I wake up with the sun?

Why wasn't last night my last one?

Would it even matter if I died?

Then I see him and I know why.

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He wraps his arms around me

Tells me he can't live without me

That I mean the world to him

So I need to live for him

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Life is hard, it isn't fair

Most times it's more then I can bear

Do You even notice?

Are You even there?

---

If blood spills and its mine

Would it be any real crime?

Would You even care?

…If Your even there.

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Sometimes I wonder to myself:

Why did I wake up with the sun?

Why wasn't last night my last one?

Would it even matter if I died?

Then I hear her and I know why.

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She cries at my insecurity

She couldn't live without me

No one but me can really understand her

So the reason I'm still standing is her

---

When it hits him and her and the crowd

I start screaming out loud

Did You notice that they've passed on?

Are You even there to guide them along in the next life?

---

If I died of my own shame

Would I be the one to blame?

Would You even care?

…If Your even there.

---

Sometimes I wonder to myself:

Why did I wake up with the sun?

Why wasn't last night my last one?

Would it even matter if I died?

Then I watch him and I know why.

---

He scrunches up his childlike face

And screams into my embrace

No one needs me more then him

So I need to stay alive just for him

---

How can You even be there?

Do You feel too high and mighty way up there

To help the children they say You created

I feel baited…

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When children cry out to You

When children die in vain for You

Do You even care?

…If Your even there.

---

Sometimes I wonder to myself:

Why did I wake up with the sun?

Why wasn't last night my last one?

Would it even matter if I died?

Then I meet them and I know why.

---

They beg for Your appearance

They ask for your interference

If You won't help them then I will

It is through them I find my will.

---

People say you say it's all Your plan

That I don't see the big picture

People don't know if you have a plan

And I don't see You in my big picture

---

You won't clothe the naked

You won't feed the hungry

And You won't stop the bleeding

But I can

---

I'm alive for the world because they need me

I'll help them because they saved me

I'm here because they answered me

But You never gave a damn for me

Though even if You did

Don't forgive me, I'm not a kid

---

I won't waste my life on You.

I'm going to save them

---

Now I know:

Why did I wake up with the sun.

Why wasn't last night my last one.

Would it even matter if I died.

It wasn't because of You…just them

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…And I might as well enjoy myself

If I stay alive in spite of self

And not live everyday for you

But each and every single one of them.