No Such thing as Forever

Sarah sat, cross-legged, on her bed. The house was quiet, peaceful even. The only sound to be heard was the soft hum of the computer and the scratching of pencil on paper. She was the only one awake, as it was one o’clock in the morning.

With her notebook in her lap, Sarah lost herself in her writing. She wrote about many things, but mainly she put her dreams into stories; dreams of a happier life. She had stories of falling in love for the first time. She wrote about love and friendship and even about the hardships in her life.

That night, as Sarah sat, alone, in her room, her thoughts and fears flooded her mind, not like ever before. Her pencil frantically flew across the paper as she put al her feelings in to a story.

Not sure where she wanted to go with her story, Sarah looked up. It was then that she saw the small bank given to her three years previously. Her eyes glazed over as she replayed the events of her evening in her mind.

In just two minutes, Sarah’s world had come crashing down right in front of her eyes. She had lost the one thing that was of any major importance to her. And why? Because she spoke her mind. She told nothing but the honest truth, and she lost everything. She watched as her whole life went down the drain.

Not able to write any longer, Sarah put her notebook on her nightstand and lied down. Turning out her light, she hugged her favorite teddy bear to her. Tears streamed down her face. Soon, her cat jumped on to the bed and curled up on her hip.

Sarah reached over and pet the orange tabby cat, “Topaz, old boy, you are the only one I have left.”

Topaz began to purr as Sarah continued to pet him, “I love you, and I know I will always be able to tell you everything. I’ll never have to worry about you getting ad at me.”

Oh this is pathetic, she thought to herself. I’m talking to my cat! Am I that desperate?

When Sarah woke the next morning she had a splitting headache. She got up and went into the bathroom to shower. She turned on the hot water and stepped in. The steaming water poured down on her face. Sarah stood there, frozen in her spot, for half an hour. The water ran down the drain, taking her tears with her.

After she was dressed, Sarah looked at her bedside clock. Two? I just have woken up late. She sat on her bed with her photo albums. Over the course of four years, Sarah had collected many albums. Each one contained pictures of her friends and family, but mainly there were pictures of places and things she’s done with her best friend, Brook.

Starting form the beginning, Sarah flipped through the pages slowly; smiling as old memories came flooding back to her. Her smile soon faded as she got deeper into the pile of albums. Sarah began to realize that, over time, pictures with Brook were found few and far between.

It saddened Sarah to think that the loss of her friendship had been coming. She wasn’t as close to Brook as she used to be. Deep down she had known it, but now that the friendship was over, she had to deal with it.

But what if I can’t? She thought.

By the times she was finished looking through the pictures, it was seven o’clock. Sarah had skipped dinner, saying she didn’t feel well. She put away the photo albums. When she turned around, she knocked a small box off her dresser. When she bent to pick it up, its contents fell to the floor. She picked up a silver chain with half a heart at the end. The heart was engraved with the word ‘Friends’.

Sarah set the box back on her dresser, but she clutched the necklace tightly in her hand. Sitting back on her bed, tears filled her eyes once again. She then lay down, pulling her comforter to her chin and cried. When her sobs subsided, she sat up and pulled out her notebook.

Just as she had done the previous night, Sarah began to write, she continued to write in the story she had started, though she wasn’t exactly sure where she wanted to go with it. Sarah wasn’t even aware of what she was doing. She just frantically wrote as though she were a mindless robot.

Before she knew it, it was midnight, and once again, she was the only one awake. Sarah stopped writing so that she could read her progress. As she read, the fight she had had with Brook filled her mind once again.

How will I cope? I just lost my best friend. The one thing keeping me alive.

Suddenly she knew how she would cope. She got up and went into the kitchen. Opening the draw, Sarah took out the paring knife. She then went into the bathroom. Standing over the sink, she looked at her tear-stricken reflection. Her eyes were read and blotchy, clearly showing the pain.

“Pathetic,” she spat.

Sarah took a deep breath, bringing the knife to her wrist. She was shaking violently, and shook more was the knife got closer to her wrist. As the blade touched her skin, she pressed harder. A thin line of blood appeared across her wrist. Sarah paused, trying to calm her shaking. She pressed harder, but the dropped the knife.

Sarah stumbled backward, and fell back against the wall. She slid down to the floor. Hugging her knees to her chest, she began to sob. She rested he forehead on the top of her knees. After a minute, she looked up at the sink. Wiping away a tear, she narrowed her eyes and clenched her teeth.

“No!” she said aloud. “I will not play the martyr!”

It was then, and only then, that Sarah knew she had to be strong. In order to cope with what was happening to her life, she had to be strong. She had to stop the crying, and she had to face the fact that her life was changed forever. She decided then and there that, if it was the last thing she did, she would remain strong.