Could Tell Please Tell Me?

Why does life has too many reasons, questions,
Too many purposes and too many faces?
Everyday as I wake up,
I want to continue what must to pursue
But what for? I don’t know,
What maybe the purpose of pursuing?

How can I endure and enjoy life,
To insinuate what its purpose on me,
If I, myself do not know life’s intention?
How can I be involved if I am a stranger?
I want to explore life’s nature within me
But how, what will be its reason?

I love my world and the One who created it,
But what things can I do for it and for Him?
Each day, I want to do some good,
But why do sometimes I am forced to do badly?
Why does I have to be amiable to others,
If that others won’t do it for me in return?

Yes, I know my faults and weaknesses,
But why can’t I be strong?
Sometimes, I can’t accept that I am only this kind of person,
Is it because I expect too much from others more than what I can give?
I want to bring out and reach out the best in me,
But why as I attempt I am always ignored or insulted?

Only God knows where my true destination is,
So I must stay where I may;
Not to wait but to do what must to be done,
I must not only linger nor to tarry,
For it is an exigency to proceed and emanate,
But how if there are obstacles and hindrances?

Could you please tell me who really I am?
Of course you can’t isn’t it?
For there are only two who could tell,
It is God and I, myself;
But God hasn’t told me yet,
I’m tired of seeking, but still I can’t find it.

Could you please tell me?
Am I a person of two minds, independent and inquisitive,
For me not to remain focused on one but wants to know about everything?
Am I that person, who is rebellious, warrior but dynamic?
I know I am quick-tempered but I am considerate,
And why do I have my enemies even if I make friends?

Could you please spot what’s wrong?
Where and when did I made great mistakes,
For me to be this kind?... I hate myself!
Why do I can’t… NO! This is I;
How can I reach out if I am always keeping?
I can’t decide what my life really wants.

What’s life purpose for me?
I don’t know, as if I am living without any goal,
I often think of what my mission in living,
And I’m oftentimes confused and hate myself,
I sometimes detest the world where I live too,
And even curse the day of my birth.

I am too confused; I need some help and truth,
What shall I do to recover and answer all my asking?
I am already falling, giving up;
I need hands to keep me remain standing,
I know life is too short,
So I’m always and still seeking, but why?