"Lost"
As I slowly walk through the shadows
my life begins to make less and less sense.
Why am I here? Where am I going?
Why do I feel so worthless?
I hide this confusion before the mask
of calm collectedness and fake smiles,
waiting for the perfect moment to end it all.
I want nothing more than to be free of my demons
and to walk without someone having to hold my hand,
but as long I succumb to the darkness
the longer it will take for me to reach salvation.
But, as long as the darkness welcomes me with open arms,
I'll continue to fall into its numb embrace for eternity.
I feel so lost and am longing to be found
but I seclude myself from others in a weak attempt for safety
because if no one knows then no one will care
and I'll be alone to fight my own battles without fear.
But I'm afraid to be alone and afraid to die
and afraid to fight and afraid of...everything.
All my life has been is a made-up fantasy
that I lose myself in instead of attempting to face reality,
but the dream life has evolved into a nightmare
that I'll never be able to wake from.
Forever I am damned to wander this desolate land
and search for another sign of life among this overwhelming grey.
The crimson of my blood is my only color in this world,
the only way to prove that I'm real,
and the only way for me to grasp onto the reigns of sanity.
But the world is fading fast
and the darkness creeps closer every day.
I am lost. I am afraid. I am numb.
I just want to be saved...