Laying in bed that night, sweaty and naked, and look down at my self. Smooth, lightly tanned chest, perfectly shaped abs; long, muscular legs. I had brown hair, parted down the middle usually, long enough just to cover my ears, and straight. And green eyes.… So… perfect. I was an athlete, a runner for the high school team, in my final year. I was to graduate, go to college for a master’s, and then come home to marry my high school sweetheart, who was laying next to me.

Her body was long and shapely, smooth, hairless; she had blue eyes, shining with intellect and maturity. Vivian was on the swimming team. Her blonde hair was always straight and glowing. Teeth, white and straight. She was so disgustingly perfect.

To say the least, I’m sick of this life.

I don’t want to marry this beautiful creature beside me… I don’t want to have kids… I don’t even want to go to college… All because I don’t want to disappoint my parents. See, my brother turned out to be a drug addict when he was seventeen and I was twelve… So, after seeing all the pain my mother went through that she couldn’t have a normal son, and all of the shit I went through with him, I decided I would be the glory child, and never disappoint them. And so began the long journey of perfection. I joined the running team, got a steady girlfriend, stayed clear of drugs and alcohol…. Yeah. And now it’s come to this. Senior year of high school and I have doubts. It’s too late to change anything.

Vivian woke, and, seeing me awake, smiled and said, “John? Why are you awake?”

I looked down at her, taking in her lightly tanned, blemish-free face and sighed. Laying down beside her, pulling the covers up around us, and wrapping my arms around her, I said, “Just thinking.”

“About what?” Her eyes were closed, and I could feel her soft lashes against my chest, her breasts soft against me.

“Nothing, just about graduation and college… And afterwards.” I closed my eyes, thinking about how my life was carefully planned even before I was born, and tried not to let the tears fall. Vivian stayed quiet, and soon fell asleep. I knew she loved me, but I didn’t love her, not anymore. Sure, I cared about her, but not loved. I feel like such a jackass, keeping her to me, and for so long. I fell asleep an hour later, thinking of ways to get out of this life, to be someone else.

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Robin's Note: Yeah....