Harder Than I Imagined
by Joyce Reid

It had been a bad week.
That was all I could chalk it up to.
Nothing else really explained
the disconsolation I suffered from.

It was pathetic, really.
I know, it seems trite,
but somehow that one word
summed up nearly everything
I'd felt like lately.

It wasn't that I had it so bad.
Sure, life was good for me.
I had a family, a job, a school.
I even had dance. But,
something was missing.

Maybe it was the lack
Of naivety.
I'd lost all the charm that youth
So gleefully disregards.

Life isn't a rainbow anymore.

And yet, as much as I
would like to say I live
in black and white,
I don't. I live in grey.
Actually, more like the
salt and pepper fights
on the TV.

Yeah, a lot like that.

Noise, confusion, cacophony.
That's my life.

I wish I could switch the channel
But I've lost the remote.
I wish I could fix the antenna,
But I've lost the ladder.
I wish I could put in a movie,
But I've lost them all.

Sometimes I feel like I've
lost everything.
But deep down inside I know
that isn't true.

God's there somewhere,
behind all the fuzz and static.
He's like the electrician,
broadcaster, and tape
finder -- all in one.

It's a good thing, too.
Otherwise, where would I be?

I don't even want to know...