Forever

There’s this feeling I’m experiencing - and I’ve felt it before

though I’d like to say I never have -

that it isn’t familiar.

There are things that I’m hearing

I stare at the floor

My stomach is twisting and grumbling in discomfort.

I’d like to say I’m nervous - afraid of what I know is coming.

That’s not true though - I’m not scared

and contrary to my own beliefs

I know not what approaches.

I lie back and continue my monotonous humming

thoughts bringing back images of you-

those sweet memories-

time that we had shared.

I can’t cry.

I’m not going to.

Why is it that I’ve fallen victim to you?

As significant as you are to me,

I know that to you - I mean just as much.

Still though - I know you’ll never quite understand.

There is nothing, there’s no one

quite as in demand as you are in my life.

Which is as true as it is ironic.

I haven’t seen you in months.

You are my tonic necessity

I’m particularly keen on your presence.

It wasn’t intentional - but I’m addicted.

Doesn’t help that our time’s quite restricted-

but I’ll cope anyway.

To you I bestow my heart.

I fought to keep it, but it wouldn’t stay.

Without you it remained lost and

would exhibit disarray.

I’m still mumbling a tune atop my bed - gazing out the window.

You’re probably just relaxing and playing Nintendo.

Knowing not that something’s wrong.

I just keep looking out at those grey-blue skies, feeling lost.

Yeah-

You don’t even realize that these words have been embossed upon my skin-

because I need you.

With chagrin I will expose them- but to you alone.

They’re for you anyhow - so I may as well.

A cologne of words - left to linger

day by day.

I remove my shirt to reveal what I have to say -

what I wanted you to see and understand.

Across my back I let you trace your hand

over the letters.

‘Eternal Prey’.

You blink twice; then scoff -

bid adieu and saunter off.

Hoping that you’ll hear me,

I whisper the unheard ‘I love you,’despite its cliche.

This is one thing that I cannot construe -

You didn’t think that you could leave me

and I’d still be okay-

did you?

---

I'm not...