I'm not sure I've ever seen him happy. As time goes on, I'm beginning to wonder if I even will... The one thing I want above all is to make him happy. That's it - take away his demons, and make him truly happy. But being who I am, I don't know that I can. Seeing what I see of myself, I'm not what he deserves...

I'm easily distracted, often caught off guard, and quick to joke or tease about things best left alone. I'm easily dragged down by others' negative emotions, but by hiding it can often come off as cold or heartless. I lose a part of me to each person I get close to. When they hurt me, when they leave or turn their backs, I'm lost, and don't even have a base to hold to. They are my base.

So I no longer have a self, a whole heart to give to the one I want to, the one who needs it. What little I have is fading as my relationships with those near me wilt and die and I just sit by and watch.

I don't even have the self motivation to repair fraying lives and save myself. Each hole is deeper, each abyss more immense. As the lights grow brighter, the shadows more solid.

Dare I chancedrowning whatis left downwith me? Dare I open up to lose my last? If I do, I may be able to discover his joy. And in his smile, in taking the veil from behind his eyes, in lifting the weight from his face, I may find my reason. I may find myself, reflected. In completing my one dream, I see two things happening - His release and my final curtain fall, or him rescuing me from myself.

I only want him happy. Once Ifind him that, I can rest in peace, one way or another. I could have him with what's left of my heart - he needn't return it. Just find a light. Just let go.

Just be happy.

Because I do dare.