July 15, 2005.

Chapter 1

I waited anxiously at the desk, fingers itching to pick up the phone, which should have been ringing any second. The house was empty and the only sound was the TV across the room on low. I stared at the computer screen in front of me and wondered how I could have possibly managed to get myself into this mess.

It had started several months earlier with my health class and my best friend Sam. Well, I was in tenth grade and I thought I knew her, which would all turn out differently in the end. I remembered sharing health class with her and sitting next to her in the front row while Mrs. Schuler talked to us about our circles of friends and how we should keep everyone in them close to our hearts. Funny how ironic that later becomes.

On that day a while back, I remember it as being mid November of 2003, life was good. I was a sophomore without a care in the world. So when Sam mentioned to me that she knew a guy who was looking for a girlfriend, I nearly popped from excitement. After all, it wasn’t like I was the kind of girl that most guys go after, so I saw this as a chance.

“His name’s Mike,” Sam told me one Tuesday during third period health, as we colored our pictures. We were to be making diagrams of houses that contained everything we loved in life.

I chose a red pencil and colored in the tie to my diploma that fell under the category of ‘Accomplishments’, and tried to sound casual as I asked, “What is he like?”

“He’s sweet,” Sam said immediately. “Oh God, Katie, you have to meet him! When he told us he was looking for someone, Scott looked at me and said ‘What about Katie? She’s single.’”

So I was. And right about at that moment, I could have hugged Scott, who was Sam’s boyfriend, for even suggesting it. I wanted to know more, so I asked, “What did he say?”

“He wanted to know about you.”

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“WHAT’D YOU SAY!?”

“Oh, I just told him you were very sweet.”

“Thanks Sam.” That little comment made me smile to know she thought that of me.

“I would say the same thing about him though. He’s a sweetie pie.”

“Will I get to meet him?”

“If you want.”

I knew people were listening into the conversation and I wondered what they were thinking. I mean, come on, Katie had a guy that was interested in her? Not that he was interested in me; he was interested in girls in general but that was okay. It was a start.

The conversation ended there. Weeks went by, and still I wondered about this Mike character in the back of my head. The only thing I heard from Sam about him before I actually met him was that he was good looking, or at least he was in Sam’s eyes.

It was another day in health class. I was watching the December snow fall outside the windows and listening to Sam talk about Scott. Today’s assignment was to write poems about ourselves. Each line had to start with the words ‘I am from’. It sounded stupid to most of the people in the class, but for someone like me who loved to write, I was ready to fall out of my chair.

I watched each flake of snow as it fluttered to the ground and thought hard about the poem I was supposed to write. I knew it would be good. I was excellent at thinking on my toes, so I picked up my pencil and wrote “I am from” on the paper.

It was a start.

After thinking for a minute, I wrote, “a dark place that I do not know.” Suddenly I realized, with that one sentence, I was in the mood to write something sad. It had nothing to do with how I actually felt at that moment. I just felt like it. So I kept going. The rest of the poem turned out like this.

I am from a warm childhood and smiling photo albums.
I am from hide and seek and Nintendo games with my cousins,
I am from summer days at the pool with a boy I used to know.
I am from a carefree elementary school with journals and movies,
I am from a high school with hundreds of classrooms and piles of books.
I am from the chorus class, singing soprano like there’s no tomorrow,
I am from an English class and atop a pile of classical literature.
I am from expectations that I cannot meet anymore,
I am from people who force me to mould my life to their likes.
I am from a place where I must breath honor roll,
I am from a place where I cry and the tears fall forever.
I am from a place where there is no hand to cling to,
I am from the knowledge that my childhood is gone.
I am from a person that seeks closed eyes and oblivion,
I am from somewhere but I am going nowhere.

It sounded good to me. In fact it seemed almost beautiful, even though it had only taken about ten minutes to write.

Soon Mrs. Schuler collected the poems. She had told us to write ‘Read’ or ‘Do not read’ at the top of the paper, so I quickly wrote ‘Read’ on mine. She shuffled the pile of papers and started to read, which was when I chose to zone out. My thoughts shifted to Mike until I heard the words, “I am from a dark place that I do not know.” I froze in my place as the whole room grew quiet, and tried to act casual so no one would guess it was mine.

Mrs. Schuler’s face grew more and more sad as she got to the end of the poem, and when she finished, a few people applauded. “That was good. Who wrote that?” Kelsey asked. Sam was looking at me.

Christmas came a week later. It was my favorite holiday and I always tried to be extremely thoughtful, if not completely generous, with my gifts. This year I knew exactly what I was getting everyone: I would get the Sims Bustin’ Out video game for PS2 for my younger sister Alex. She had been asking for weeks. For my mother, I got a diary with a picture of a cat on it that meowed when you opened it, and some clothing for my dad. Alright, I admit I wasn’t too creative there, but hey, he got a television from my mom, so it’s all good.

I ripped through the wrapping paper, knowing full well what was beyond it. Holding up a beautiful blue sweater, I smiled and said, “Thanks mom.”

“It wasn’t me,” my mom held up her hands innocently. “Thank Santa.”

“Oh please.” For years she had been telling us that it was all Santa Claus, or at least since I was a little kid and believed in him myself.

My favorite gift was the jewelry. I especially enjoyed the earrings, which was the beginning of an obsession. Alex got me a little stand to hold the earrings, which I thought was a clever idea, and which clearly came from my mom’s favorite store Kid ‘N Kaboodle.

My grandparents, of course, were there, as they were every Christmas. I usually gave them photos of myself because that was what they seemed to enjoy most. The more sentimental I got, the more they liked it. This year was no exception. I gave them my school picture and a CD of the Montgomery County Orchestra concert that I had been a part of that fall.

My grandma’s eyes were filled with tears as she hugged me from the couch. “Thank you,” she said. “It’s wonderful.” That was another thing about my grandparents. They had enough sentimentality for the whole family.

“No problem Grandma,” I answered truthfully.

It was also a Christmas tradition to visit my aunt and uncle, who lived just a few minutes down the road in my friend Susannah’s neighborhood. I always liked to go there because there was so much going on, what with my cousins and the dogs there and everything, it was noisy and there was always something to do. This Christmas was no different.

“Hello!?” my dad’s voice called through the front room. Way to knock, I thought.

“Hi!” My uncle Tom greeted us. Their dog Coco was barking furiously, as always. The room smelled like pine. My aunt and uncle always purchased the largest Christmas trees I had ever seen. This year the same kind of tree towered over us all. The pink, green, and blue lights were gorgeous, I thought. When I was a little girl, I used to look at all the ornaments individually, at least the ones I could reach, and sometimes I even crawled under it, but this year I just looked.

“We’re making some dinner,” my uncle was saying as we all headed back into the dining room. The table was set for about nine people, and there was another smaller table set up in the living room for, I assumed, the younger people. The kitchen smelled wonderful. It seemed my aunt Michelle was making turkey, which took a lot of work so I had to give her credit.

My second cousin Tyler, who at the time was nearly a baby, sat on the couch with his mother, my cousin Linda. They were watching television.

“What’s up?” I asked, taking off my bag and putting it on the arm rest of the couch.

“Hey, how’s your Christmas been?” Linda asked.

“Awesome. Got lots of good clothes.” I looked down at the striped sweater I was wearing that my mom had given me.

“I like that sweater,” Linda said genuinely. “It’s pretty.”

“Thanks.” I heard the front door open and Coco started barking again. I wondered who it was and looked over my shoulder toward the dining room. Two people appeared who I hadn’t seen in several years, my two cousins from my uncle Dave: Kim and Tom. They stood in the dining room, Tom talking up a storm with my grandma, and Kim standing quietly by, holding her arm. Then my grandpa called out, “Kate, Alex, come look who’s here!”

As if I already didn’t know. I stood up and walked into the dining room and then realized I didn’t know what to say, so I smiled sweetly and said, “It’s been a long time.” Which it had. Certainly.

The conversation just kind of went from there. My grandparents asked most of the questions. I turned away at long last, mostly because I was too shy to stay there much longer and talk to family who I hadn’t seen in years. It wasn’t easy. Later I regretted it when they presented Alex and I with two wrapped gifts. I knew from the start that mine was an article of clothing, which thrilled me, so I opened it. It was a gorgeous green sweater with a zipper on the front. I thought it was beautiful, so the first thing I did was go into the tiny bathroom and change into it. I stepped out and realized I felt great wearing something so generously given to me. I mean, Kim and Tom never even saw me. Why would they buy me such a nice gift? Since I didn’t have anything to give them, I did the next best thing. I threw my arms around both of them at once and hugged them. I think it surprised them more than it surprised even myself, but that’s what I do best: I surprise people, as I would later learn.

Soon we sat down to dinner. The plate in front of me didn’t contain much, since I wasn’t a very big eater. I was having turkey, some mashed potatoes with gravy, and a roll with butter. I watched as everyone else piled on vegetables and shrugged. As I picked up my fork, a thought flashed through my mind.

“I wonder what he’s like?”

“What?” I asked aloud, not sure my mind was working properly. Luckily no one heard me. Shrugging, I took a bite of turkey and chewed.

“Is he as nice as Sam says he is?” Now I knew I was thinking about Mike. He had been in the back of my head since November. I just hadn’t really noticed until now.

“He probably is. I hope he’s not like those other Upper Dublin boys. They’re mean.” I twirled my fork in my mashed potatoes and spread the gravy in every direction. “I wonder if he’s good looking. I mean, Sam’s definition of good looking could be different than mine. Who knows? He might be a total jerk and I’ll have had my hopes up for nothing.”

“Katie?” My mom leaned forward in her seat. “Are you there?”

I lifted my fork and took a bite of mashed potatoes. Then I shrugged. “Just eating,” I said through a full mouth. No use telling the truth.

“Oh.” It seemed good enough for my mom, so she started talking to my aunt about Christmas. However, I couldn’t concentrate on anything except for the way my life was about to change, and I certainly didn’t know what it would be like a year and a half later.

And I definitely had no idea what I was doing.

It was January seventh, 2004, at about seven fifteen in the evening.

So as I was waiting for the phone to ring, I started to panic. When it did, I managed to pick it up and say “Hello.” Sam’s voice greeted mine.

“Hi,” she said softly. “You okay?”

“Nervous.”

“Mike said he would call you tonight.”

“That’s why I’m nervous.”

“Well I’ll let you go. I don’t want to tie up the phone line.”

“Sam don’t leave me.”

“Why are you afraid?” Sam sounded bored. She had probably done this before and couldn’t understand what I was so afraid of. There was no use arguing.

“Never mind,” I said quickly. “I’ll call you later and tell you what happens.” Then she was gone and I was alone.

Again.

No sooner had I hung up the phone and a minute had passed then it rang again. This time I jumped. There was no way it was Sam. Not again. So I mustered up just about all the courage I had and picked it up. “Hello?”

“Is Katie there?” It was a boy of course.

“This is Katie,” I answered. “Who’s this?” As if I didn’t know.

“This is Steve.”

Well that came as a bit of a surprise. “Who?”

“Steve. I’m Mike’s friend.”

Ohhhhhhhh. “Okay,” I said. “Hi.” And winced at how stupid I sounded.

“Hi. Hey listen, do you wanna come down to the firehouse and chill with us for a little?”

Firehouse? “Um.” I couldn’t see any way to convince my mom to take me even with all my homework done. It was, after all, a Wednesday night. I really wanted to as I thought about it. “Sorry,” I said, “I can’t get there.”

“Oh, that’s okay.”

“Hey can I talk to him. Is he there?” I was suddenly becoming more and more curious.

“She wants to talk to you,” Steve said over his shoulder. The next thing I knew, the phone was being handed over and a masculine voice said, “Yo.”

“Hi,” I said. “Mike right?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Hey what lunch do you have?”

“I got A, why?”

“Fuck,” I heard him curse and my eyebrow went up. Well why wouldn’t it? I guess that’s where he wanted to meet me.

“Sorry,” I answered.

“Hey, do you know where the T is at school?”

“Um,” I thought for a minute. “Is that where the English and bio wings meet?”

“Yeah, you wanna meet there before homeroom tomorrow?”

“Sure.” My heart rate was beginning to accelerate as I realized what was happening.

“Okay. I’ll be wearing my station seven hat. It’s blue.”

His what hat? “Okay sure. I’ll see you then.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” Then I hung up, feeling slightly disappointed that we hadn’t really discussed anything worthwhile. There was always tomorrow.

I remembered my promise before I went to bed. I picked up the phone with a shaking hand and called Sam. She immediately asked what had happened.

“Nothing. He just set up a meeting place for us tomorrow. I wish we could have talked more.”

“Where did he say he’d meet you?”

“At the end of the English wing. By the bio rooms.”

“Here’s what we’re gonna do.” Sam started to sound all business like. “You can meet us at our usual spot. Scott and I will take you over there and point him out to you. The rest is up to you guys.”

“Okay.” I answered gratefully. “I’ll see you tomorrow Sam. And thanks.”

“See you. Sleep well.”

That was another problem.

I woke the following morning and realized I felt dead tired. I turned on my lamp and got slowly out of bed. It was dark outside my window except for the street lamps. Such is winter.

Then I remembered last night and swallowed. This was a big day. Probably the biggest day of my life and here I was staring out the window. I shook my head and started to dress. The night before I had laid out some clothes on the floor by my dresser. I put on a pair of my jeans from Aeropostale and the blue sweater my mom had given me for Christmas.

I went into the bathroom and put on a pair of silver balled earrings. Looking at myself in the mirror, I decided to leave my hair down and go without make-up. I didn’t want Mike to think I was trying too hard.

I had trouble eating breakfast. I managed to shovel down two waffles and a glass of orange juice and went out the door at five minutes to seven. The bus ride I took that morning was the bumpiest I had ever taken, or maybe it was just because I was nervous and sitting way too still. There were butterflies in my stomach and my heart was definitely racing. I listened to Brittany chatting in the background. She was the only one who ever talked on the morning bus because she was a freshman. I concentrated on her voice instead of thinking about what was about to happen.

By the time I walked into the school at about quarter after seven, I was literally shaking. My palms were sweaty despite the freezing cold January weather. I made a trip to my locker, taking out my math book and dumping in my history book. I put my lunch in the top compartment, locked it up, slung my bag over my shoulders, and started to walk.

Sam and Scott were waiting in the auditorium lobby by the trash can, just like always. “Are you ready?” Sam asked when she saw me.

I took a deep breath. “I guess. Sam I can’t do this.”

“Sure you can.” We started walking through the hallway.

“Sam I mean it, I really can’t. What if he hates me? I REALLY can’t do this! Sam!”

“Katie,” she said as we rounded the corner from the chemistry hallway and walked past several biology rooms. “Let me tell you something girl, you can.”

I stopped walking now that I was at the appropriate place and looked around, hoping that I wasn’t looking like too much of a mess. Raking a few fingers through the ends of my hair, I tried to scope out any guys wearing hats, but since school policy forbids hats, nobody was wearing any.

Then I heard Sam’s voice from behind me and turned. “Katie, this is Mike.” I froze. “Mike, Katie.”

“Yo.” I must admit, the guy standing in front of me was not bad looking. He was wearing a dark blue beanie and I didn’t know how I could have missed him.

“Hey,” I said and hoped my voice wasn’t shaking.

“What’s up?”

“Not much.” I tried desperately to think of something worth saying but not too much came to mind so I just asked, “Are you a senior?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, because Sam wasn’t sure.”

“That’s okay.”

“So…how’s school been for you?”

“It’s alright. Really hard work.”

“Yeah. I’ll say.” We had moved out of the middle of the hallway by the trashcan so people could get by. Upper Dublin was a very crowded school. “So do you drive?” Any words at this point were good words.

“Yeah I got my permit.”

“That’s good. Gonna buy a car?”

“I might buy this beetle that my friend is selling for like fifty bucks.”

My jaw dropped. I was so interested by this I didn’t notice that Sam and Scott had walked away until they were all the way at the end by the athletic office. “Well that’s a good price.”

He laughed. “Yeah it is.”

“So what are you into?”

Before he could answer, the bell rang. I couldn’t believe it. We had only been talking for a few minutes, but since my bus driver drove so slow, I had barely any time with him at all. It really wasn’t fair.

We said our goodbyes and walked down the hallway toward homeroom. I entered the chemistry room and sat in the seat, shivering even in my sweater. The butterflies in my stomach were still there even though it was over.

For the rest of the day all I could think of was Mike and about how I liked him, because truthfully, I did. He seemed like a nice enough guy that I could get along with well. I only wondered if this was going to go anywhere or if it was going to just go away in a few days and I would never see him again. I really hoped I would see him sometime soon. I kept thinking these thoughts through my cold and dreary geometry class where we discussed parallelograms, through my French class where Madame yelled at us because some of us hadn’t done our homework, and into gym class.

“So,” Sam said, tying her sneakers in the locker room. “What do you think?”

“Of Mike? Well I don’t know.” I thought for a minute. “He’s really nice.”

“That’s what I thought when I first met him. He’s so sweet.”

“We didn’t really get much of a chance to talk. The bell rang right away.”

“If you want,” Sam straightened up, “I can have him call you tonight, or maybe you guys can go out this weekend. Maybe we all can.”

I thought about that. It would be really awkward at first, but it might be fun after a little while. “I guess so,” I finally said.

It couldn’t hurt.

I walked out of the locker room with Sam to face a game of volleyball and a day of difficult decisions. I was scared to think that he might be calling me again. I had managed to make conversation earlier that morning. Would I be able to do it again? What did the weekend hold? Would it change my life? I almost hoped so.

The following morning before homeroom I came around the corner toward the auditorium lobby and saw Scott, Sam, and Mike standing over by the trashcan. Seeing him there sent a jolt through me. He hadn’t called the house last night after I got back from my dentist appointment so I was wondering if I would ever hear from him again. Now I knew. I approached them cautiously and said “Hey guys.” I smiled at Mike but couldn’t really think of much to say to him. He just looked back at me, most likely suffering from the same ordeal.

“Hey,” they all answered simultaneously. “So what’re your weekend plans?” Sam asked.

“Um, I’m not really sure yet.” Mike was looking at me. “Hopefully something with…um…you maybe.”

“That’d be good,” Mike shrugged. I had never met someone so shy in all my life, but then again, I had no room to talk.

“What would we do?” I asked.

“Does it matter?” This time it was my turn to shrug. “I guess I can give you a call if I can get plans.”

“Sounds okay,” I said and looked at Sam and Scott. For some reason they were smiling.

That evening, Sam called. “Katie, are you going out with Mike and his friends?”

“Yeah, you’re coming right?”

“I can’t.”

“But I thought you and Scott said you were coming.”

“We were going to, but something really serious came up with my family. I’m sorry Katie I can’t go. Maybe some other time.”

“Is Scott going?”

“No. Mike told me he and his two friends are going to pick you up later. Is that okay?”

That did it. I fell back in my chair and stared at the wall. “Yeah I guess. Who are they?”

“It’s some guy named Pat and his girlfriend Jen. I don’t know Pat at all, but Jen’s a bitch. Be careful of her. If you stick with Mike you should be okay. He’s a sweet guy. Just stay close to him and you’ll be fine.”

I was starting to shake, just as I had the night Mike called me. I couldn’t believe Sam was ditching me so easily. It probably wasn’t her fault though. If something came up with her family, it couldn’t be. Still, I was scared that I would be going out with people I didn’t even know. Mike was the only one I had ever even seen before, and I barely knew him.

About half an hour later Mike had me on the phone. “Can I have directions to your house? Me, Pat and Jen are coming to get you.”

I looked at the clock. It was about seven thirty. “Okay, you know where Dreshertown Road is?”

“No.”

“Do you know where Susquehanna is?”

“Yeah.”

“You go down Susquehanna and turn left onto Dreshertown. There’s a Starbucks there.” She heard Mike repeating the information to Pat and there were voices in the background.

“Okay.”

“Then you keep going down Dreshertown until right before you hit Welsh. There’s a neighborhood on the left. You turn onto Stonington Court and it’s the second right onto Race.”

“Stonington on the left,” Mike was saying. “Right onto Race. Go ‘head.”

“It’s on the right. Big gray house. White mailbox.”

“White mailbox. Okay.”

“Wait, I don’t have any money.”

“Jen will probably pay for you.”

“I got it!” A female voice called from the background.

“Okay, see you in a bit.”

I waited in the kitchen, nervously pacing back and forth and checking the clock. I looked out the window to see if any cars were coming up Stonington Court, and every time one went by, I would catch my breath, but no one showed up out front, and no one knocked on the door. Finally at a little after eight, the phone rang. I picked it up.

“Yo,” Mike said, “We’re kinda lost. Which house is yours?”

“Are you on Race?”

“I think so.”

“It’s the only one with a white mailbox. It’s on the right side.”

“Have her come outside,” Pat was saying in the background.

“Can you come outside?” Mike repeated.

“Be right out.”

The night was cold and dark. I was wearing nothing but a gray sweater over my Aeropostale tee shirt. “What am I, crazy?” I thought as I stood on the porch shivering. Then I went halfway down the front walkway and stopped. There was a car to my left at the end of the street. It had a blue light on top. Since Mike was a firefighter, I figured Pat must be too. The car started to roll slowly until it was next to the mailbox. I walked down the sidewalk and a girl got out of the car. I realized suddenly that I knew her, so that’s what I said.

“Hey, I know you,” I said as I climbed in the back seat. She was Jen from lunch. She sat at my table every Tuesday and Thursday and I was really surprised that I knew her. “Hi Mike,” I said when I saw him.

“Hey I’m Pat,” the guy behind the wheel held his hand out behind him and I shook it cautiously, trying not to make a wrong move. These were, after all, people I didn’t know. “You’re Katie. Good to meet you.”

“You too,” I said and settled back in my seat, pulling the seat belt across my shoulder before I noticed that no one else in the car was wearing theirs.

“So where are we going?” Mike asked as we started to move.

“Dunno,” Pat answered. “Let’s drive around for a while.” And so we did. Pat certainly knew his way around, because I had no idea where we were after we left Willow Grove. I just sat back and hoped that I would survive this night and all the surprises it held.

We pulled up at a traffic light next to another car full of teenagers who happened to have their radio booming. Pat rolled down Jen’s window and yelled something at them and they yelled back. My eyebrow went up and I wondered if he did things like this very often. Then when the light turned green, we both were off and I was wondering what was said between them. Just out of curiosity.

As we went, I noticed Mike was looking at me. I looked back and smiled at him and he just nodded and looked away. “I guess he’s just as shy as I am,” I thought.

Before I knew it, Pat was pulling into a parking lot. I looked at the illuminated sign above us: Warrington Pool. First of all we were all the way out in Warrington, second, we were going to play pool, something I had never done before in my life. I was now truly afraid that I was in fact going to make a fool out of myself. I had better either prepare for that or learn how to play pool relatively well and quick.

We went inside the building and Pat went up to the counter with a credit card. I just stood quietly by and looked at the signs behind the counter, concentrating on the one that read “Ladies night: Monday”. Then I said out of the blue, “I’ve never played pool before.”

“What?” Mike was standing next to me. “Never?”

“No.” Now I sounded really stupid.

“I can teach you if you want.”

I nodded. “Okay.” When Pat had finished paying, he started walking through the building past a dozen pool tables where people were playing pool very well I might add. The three of us followed him, me at the end of the line. We got to a back room where there were four pool tables away from everyone else. Thankfully.

Pat immediately started to set up the table and Mike, who I would later learn did everything Pat did, did too. He handed me a stick and put the pool balls in a triangle. “Now,” he said and started to sound all business like. “Pool’s easy once you figure out how to hit the ball. So,” he demonstrated by putting the stick between his fingers and hit the cue, which sent the other balls flying off in every direction. I watched in amazement as one went in. “That was a stripe,” he pointed out, “So now when I go again, I try to get in another striped ball. But it’s your turn.”

My whole body froze. This was it. I was going to make a total idiot of myself in front of these people, but I noticed then that Pat and Jen were playing at the other table beside us and weren’t even paying attention. Pat hit the ball while looking at it upside down and Jen smacked him lightly on the shoulder. “Stop showing off Patrick!”

I laughed and turned back to our game. Mike saw my hesitation and jumped in with, “Here, let me help you out.” He came up behind me and took both my hands in his. Then he set it up and slid the stick in and out of my hand. I tried to pay close attention but all I could do was just stare at our hands, not believing I was this close to a member of the opposite sex. “Then you just hit it,” Mike finished, “Hard.”

So that’s what I did. I hit it, only the pool balls didn’t go far enough to get to any of the pockets. I didn’t care though. At least I hadn’t missed.

“Good,” Mike said, “Just hit it a little harder next time. Watch.” He took another shot and this time got in another striped ball.

I was getting my butt kicked and I knew it, but it didn’t matter. I was enjoying the fact that I was spending time with a guy who had remained in a cloud of mystery for the past two months of my life. So I tried again. The same thing happened. I stood up and frowned. “What am I doing wrong?”

“I still think you’re not hitting it hard enough.” I leaned against the table and watched him. This time the cue ball went in. “Fuck,” Mike said. “Okay you go now.”

“Actually,” I checked my watch. It was a bit after nine. “I have to call home right about now.”

Pat heard me and asked, “Are your parents that strict?”

“Yeah unfortunately.” I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed home. My mom picked up. “Hi mom.”

“Hi honey, we just got back from Friendly’s. What are you doing?”

“We’re um, playing pool. Hang on. Pat,” I looked at him, “Where are we?”

“Warrington.”

“We’re in Warrington,” I repeated to my mom.

“Okay, what time will you be home?”

“Um I’m not sure.”

“Can they have you back by eleven?”

“Lemme ask. Guys, can I be back by eleven?”

“We’ll try,” Pat saluted.

“That’s a yes,” I told my mom.

“Okay, see you then.”

Now it was time to turn back to the dreaded game of pool. It was, according to Mike, my turn, so I took the shot to the best of my ability. Of course nothing went in but that was due to my inexperience and the fact that there were people around.

As if he had read my mind, Mike said, “Don’t worry, no one’s even watching.” I looked over at where Pat and Jen were playing their game. I wasn’t so sure.

By the time we left, I hadn’t even gotten a single ball in any of the pockets. I didn’t care however. It was over, and I had almost enjoyed it.

“I’m hungry,” Jen complained as soon as we were all back in the car.

“Katie you hungry?” Pat asked.

“Yeah kinda,” I answered honestly. “But I don’t have any-“

“Mike’s paying for us all,” Pat said. “He said he would treat us this weekend.”

I looked over at Mike and he shrugged. “Well okay. But where is there to eat here? I don’t know Warrington very well.”

Pat and Jen looked at each other. “Red Lion,” they said at the exact same time. So that’s where we went.

It was my first time eating there but as soon as I walked in the door, I liked it. It was clean and the person who greeted us was a good looking smiley guy. He led us over to a booth on one side of the restaurant. Mike let me slide in by the window and took the spot beside me. Pat picked up one of the menus. “So what are you all getting?” he asked.

I looked down at my own menu. I was really in the mood for chicken fingers, but those were six ninety nine and I didn’t want Mike spending all that on me plus the cost of a drink. Then again, I could always order a water and that would solve that problem.

What kind of soups did they have? I checked the list: French onion, clam chowder, and of course, my favorite, chicken noodle. It was three fifty for a bowl so I decided to get it.

“What are you getting?” Jen asked me.

“Just a soup.”

“That’s it?” Pat looked dumbfounded. “You said you were hungry.”

Actually I was completely famished. I looked at Mike. “Soup’s enough.” Mike shrugged.

When the waiter came, we all ordered. Pat got a grilled chicken breast, Jen ordered a salad and chicken fingers, which I wanted but didn’t order because of the price, and Mike got himself a giant tuna wrap. They got sodas all around. I gave the waiter my order and after he left I noticed everyone was kind of looking at me. “What?” I shrugged.

“You SURE that’s all you want?” Pat asked for the second time.

“Yeah.”

“You can get more you know. I’m paying,” Mike said. That was exactly the problem.

“No I’ll be okay.” I just hoped Red Lion’s chicken noodle soup was good enough to satisfy even a little hunger. I began to wonder if I was being a little stupid at that point. Maybe Mike wanted to pay for me. If he had money and he wanted to, he should be allowed, but I was stubborn and I hated it when people spent money on me.

I wasn’t really paying attention to what they were saying. Pat and Jen were arguing and Mike was just sitting there like me. Every once in a while he would look at me but as soon as I glanced back his gaze would travel elsewhere. He was just shy.

After about five minutes I started to wonder if I should call Sam just to tell her how things were going, which in truth I really wasn’t sure about. But I was shaking pretty badly so I asked Mike to move. “I’ll be right back,” I told them and walked into the bathroom. Locking myself into one of the stalls, I pulled the phone out of my pocket and punched in Sam’s number. It rang twice and then, “Hello?”

“Hi.”

“Katie! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Where are you?”

“At the Red Lion restaurant. In the bathroom.”

“How is it going?”

“It’s fine. Mike is really sweet. He taught me how to play pool. Well sorta.”

“They made you play pool?”

“They didn’t make me. I didn’t have to play if I didn’t want to but I didn’t want to ruin their fun.” At that point the door opened and someone came in. They stood next to the door. I peeked through the crack but couldn’t see who it was as Sam kept talking.

“I’m really sorry I couldn’t come with you. Families.”

“It’s alright don’t worry about it. I’m having a good time. Maybe sometime the four of us could do something?”

“I can talk to Scott.”

“Okay.” I heard the door open and close as the person left and shrugged. “I gotta get back out there before I’m missed but I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Alright, see you.”

I made my way back out to the restaurant. Mike moved for me and I sat back down at the window. They kept talking without me and I took another sip of soup. It was alright, I noted, but not as good as Friendly’s soup. There was a bank across the street and I concentrated on the sign which read “10:08, 4 degrees.” Damn it was cold. And all I was wearing was my gray sweater over a tee shirt! On the car ride from the pool house, I had nearly frozen to death. Pat and Jen both smoked so they liked to leave the windows down. Mike had kept telling them to put them up but of course they didn’t listen to him. He had the right idea though. It was better to breathe in a little smoke then to freeze to death.

I got up and watched Mike standing at the counter paying for our meal. “I bet he spent a whole three dollars on you,” Pat joked from beside me.

“Yeah.” I smiled.

By the time they dropped me off it was quarter to eleven and I was dead tired. I was also thrilled. I had survived and had even enjoyed myself a little at that!

Mike got out of the car and followed me up the front walk. I was relieved that he was being so polite but was scared at the same time. What if he wanted a hug? It was way too early for that but I didn’t want to have to break it to him. When we got to the front step, we turned to face each other. “Well thanks for the night,” I said truthfully. “I had a good time. And thanks for being so patient. With pool and all.”

Mike smiled the same smile he had when I had met him yesterday morning in school. “It’s cool,” he said. “I had fun too.” Then we fell silent. Mike and I simultaneously looked at the car where Pat and Jen were waiting. It seemed he was waiting for something, but I didn’t know what, so I said good bye and walked into the house. I watched from the window as Mike went back down the walkway and got in the car. Then they drove off.

My dad was in the office and I walked by into the kitchen. “How’d it go?” he asked casually.

“Fine,” I answered, because that was just about the only word I could think of to describe the evening. But even still I wanted another chance. I wanted to go somewhere with Mike so we could get to know each other. It shouldn’t be about trying to survive, I thought as I changed into my pajamas in my room. It should be about having fun, taking chances, and enjoying yourself. That’s what dates are about.

Then again, I had never been on one before, so how would I know?