Illusions take reality’s place

Escape in harsh times

As no other way is seen

Life losing to emptiness

Slayer of my heart

Or maybe just a thief

Locking it away

Taking my last hope

…

Never letting go

Seems so hard

To keep trying

No matter the pain

The sorrow I face

No matter how cruel

My path seems to be

Courage mere stubbornness

Fear of the unknown

…

Life can be so painful

Other’s actions so brutal

Reason to hold on fading

I hide inside myself

Waiting for something

Just anything to touch me

Maybe death, maybe life

Just a sign…

I’m still here

I’m still me

…

Pains could be eased

A soft touch just enough

Burdens could be shared

If a friendly presence came

Held my hand

Helped me up

But no strength is given

I hold no more within

No longer wait that gift

Living within this dream

Where no one can touch me

Protective chosen closure

Sheltered empty walls

…

Life could be so gentle

Other’s actions so warm

Reason to wake up

To rise to the outer world

Face my self

Look ahead

But I fought for so long

Waiting for that action

I can wait no longer

Losing that small key

That locked me away

Forgotten prison in nowhere

Safe haven lost

…

Felling like letting go

Like there’s no reason to fight

Why am I here?

What is my purpose?

My value for this world?

And I smile bitterly

Absence remains ignored

Lost spectre of an empty lane

…

I repeat to myself

It’s not forever

Trying to believe

There’s something else

Believe in a hidden way

I could never find

…

Growing up hurt

Learning always deep ache

Failure ever dread’s carrier

And pain herald of sorrow

I could never look away

See any beauty I once held

And I cannot believe myself

Vague words meaningless

Continuous errors made

Numb feelings dying

Why holding on?

…

Stubbornness yes

I live for myself

Rejecting an obvious choice

Refusing all beings’ Fate

Chasing that fleeing hope

Until that one moment

Where my strength will fail

Messenger of my fall

Head raised high

Ghost of my past self

…

But this is now

So I renew my weakened grip

Forget those spiteful words

Just for a moment

An eternity deep inside

Gripping that fragile wish

Of a better world outside

Of that rumoured freedom

A dream in reality’s realm

…

I’ve found my key

Hand touching my chest

Pain beating gently

Testimony of existence

Hope slowly humming

Sign of conscience

…

Deep breathing

Cold air fills my lungs

And I know then

I’m still here

I’m still me

Walking once again

Carry on dreaming

No goal in mind

Or destiny as guide

Just me…living key

…

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