A Night At the Drunken Dog

By: Elizabeth Bundick

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The huge oak doors to the Drunken Dog tavern swung open with a groan. From the windy, late fall night came one dark gray skinned and silvery white haired Drow with one flighty looking nymph and a four inch tall emerald green blur. The Drow looked around and headed straight for the bar. The nymph smiled charmingly around at all the hunched, bulky figures and glided towards the stage where a young bard was playing a haphazard tune on a harp. The green blur, a fairie began to circle around the head of a weary looking solider, giggling.

“You mind taming your familiar?” The bartender asked the Drow as he slammed a mug of ale down in front of her.

“Not my familiar,” The Drow replied, looking at the man through her bangs. “The squirrel is mine.” And indeed there was a squirrel curled up on the rafter above the Drow’s head.

“Hey!” The bartender shouted to the fairie. “Stop harassing the patrons.”

“Kiki!” The Drow yelled, “I swear to Chaos if you don’t stop I’m getting my Spinx hair net!”

The green blur zipped over to the Drow, “You ruin all my fun, Ziana,” she said in a high pitched huff.

“You couldn’t sleep with him anyway, your four inches tall,” Ziana eyed the nymph weaving between the tables, starting to hum while she swung her hips. “If she starts dancing Chaos help me I’ll kill her. All I want is a drink and a meal. But you two keep getting me kicked out of every Chaos blessed tavern in the world.”

“Then why do you stay with us?” Kiki settled on Ziana’s shoulder, “You could just ditch us.”

“And watch you two get killed?” Ziana snorted, “Yes, exactly the way to go about redeeming my soul.”

“Well, that’s your problem.” The fairie snorted, “I can’t believe you got tricked into giving your soul to a demon. I thought Mages were suppose to be better than that.”

“Sure, announce to the whole tavern I’m soul-less, thanks Kiki,” Ziana growled, ready to sick her familiar on the fairie.

“You’re welcome, can I go flirt with that half-elf now?”

“Just don’t get us kicked out,” Ziana muttered. That’s when she heard it, the starting stands of a gypsy song. She dropped her head to the bar and groaned a long no. She looked out from under an arm to see the least welcome sight in the world, Kalya, the nymph, was going to dance. Within minutes she was weaving through the tables singing about swimming in a stream with only the water as her covering, and wiggling her hips to tempt men. Ziana knew she didn’t mean to make every man in the tavern stare and drool, but god that stupid built in need to show off that all nymphs had was going to be the death of her. And if she died without a soul, Ziana didn’t want to think about it. The hooting started when Kayla draped herself over the same half-elf Kiki was hitting on.

“Hey!” the high pitched scream split the air, “Back off Kayla!”

“You buzz off, nat, I’m trying to perform.”

“This is going to get ugly,” Ziana muttered, and dumped a handful of gold coins onto the bar, “That’ll cover what’s going to happen soon and another ale.” So, she got her second ale and listened to the fight that was almost scripted.

“Preform?! Preform?! You’re trying to steal my man!”

“He’s not yours, shorty, he can’t be. He’s human sized!”

“So? Doesn’t mean you need to shuffle in here, waving your hips and shoving your breast all in his face!”

“I was doing the Kajia Majio, for your information, not a shuffle,” Kayla snapped, hand shooting out trying to grab the fairie. Of course there was no way Kayla could catch the fairie, and in the end was chasing the little green dot all over the tavern. This meant knocking into tables, people and whatever was hanging on the walls. When the bartender glared at Ziana she finished her ale and got to her feet. She picked up her dark oak wood staff from where she had laid it on the floor. She slammed the bottom against the floor twice and Kayla froze.

“You said you wouldn’t do that again,” Kayla said fearfully. Ziana raised one eyebrow, “You promised!”

“Actually, I believe she said only if you don’t make her mad,” Kiki hummed, wings glowing golden green as she darted around Kayla’s head, “Guess you made her mad.”

Ziana whistled once and Kiki screamed.

“Not fair!” She yelled, banging against the door, trying to escape the red squirrel that was stalking the fairie, “You promised you won’t sick him on me!”

“Only if you didn’t make her mad,” Kayla grumbled as she opened the door for the fairie who zipped out to escape the squirrel. Kayla glared at Ziana as she stalked out of the tavern. Ziana walked towards the door to follow. On the way she felt the reassuring weight of her familiar drop onto her shoulder.

“Sorry about the mess,” She called and then slammed the door closed.