A Little Too Much, a Humor fanfic

A Little Too Much

Part One

Another one was gone. Cheri had successfully driven another ‘perfect’ man out of her life with her pathetic obsessions over marriage and child rearing.

“It’ll be perfect, Tony,” she’d drawl, staying the southern bell she’d always remain at heart.

“Oh, Reed. We could have the white picket fence life.”

“Eric, when will we start talking about settling down? I’d love to at least get engaged…”

Everyone had left her. Tony, as it turned out, was offered a job in Wyoming he promptly took. Two weeks after he ‘left,’ Cheri ran into him at Starbucks. She was shocked. Tony had never been a liar.

Reed left when he found out his old girlfriend was pregnant. The fact he’d left out was that she’d only recently found out she was pregnant because they’d only recently had sex. Cheri suspected it but Reed had never been a cheater.

Eric, at least, was honest. He told her flat out. “Cheri you’re a fucking psycho,” he’d screamed one night after he got home from work. Cheri was sitting on the couch in their apartment, flipping through bridal catalogs. “We’re 23. There’s no way in hell I’m getting married. I don’t even like you that much. I only promise to ‘think about’ settling down because I think you’re hot.”

There were others. She used to keep a little list when she’d get around to updating it. “This one ran away because…” “It didn’t work out with so and so when…” But after a while it got too painful. She didn’t want to remember all the boyfriends she’d scared away.

She was getting pathetic, though. Cheri had just about given up on dating. It seemed so pointless. Why go out with someone who will just crush your heart later?

Lindsey, her best friend since high school, was always finding the ‘perfect’ guys. She was currently seeing Cleo, an architect with an incredible sense of humor. Before him it was Bobbie, a lawyer with an amazing body and a sweet, loyal personality. Before Bobbie is was Leroy. Leroy was an author who always wrote little poems and left them under the door of Lindsey’s apartment. He was a fabulous poet with terrible taste in clothing.

Cheri wanted to be like Lindsey. She wanted to know that who ever she was with loved her back. She wanted to settle down with them, move in with them, have kids with them. Of course none of those things were important to Lindsey. Lindsey was strongly opposed to any type of commitments. She scarcely moved in with guys, left alone discussed their future together. However, her dumb luck and free spirit always wound her up with a date for Saturday night.

Meanwhile, Cheri would be dateless. She’d be alone because the ‘perfect’ guy had no single friends or all his brothers were married. She’d sit and watch T.V. and eat ice cream because she was too needy. The thing was, she wasn’t needy. She just had a long history of wanting to plan things out far in advance.

“Aiden, I have to tell you something,” Aiden stared blankly at David.

“Aiden, I have to tell you something. I’ve been seeing someone else. His name is Greg. I’m really sorry. I mean it. The thing is, I love Greg. He’s the most incredible man I’ve ever met. And, well, I still love you but you’re like my brother, like my friend. Greg, Greg’s like a man. And you’re still a little boy…” Sophia gushed, caught between guilt and love. She wiped away tears. Aiden that thought maybe they were tears of happiness. Maybe she was crying because she found Greg. Maybe she wasn’t sad or regretful that now Aiden would be alone.

“Aiden, you want to hear it or not?” David raised his dark, bushy eyebrows expectantly. His crystal blue eyes bore into Aiden with brother-like concern. David was better than a brother, though. David was Aiden’s best friend.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Aiden ran his long, thin fingers through his curly, dark hair.

“I heard about these two chicks, right?” Whenever he was excited, David spoke in questions but never left Aiden time to answer. Aiden smiled. “Well the one, Lindsey, she’s got a shift at the grill. I was talking to her. She’s got a boyfriend but I don’t think that’ll be a problem, know what I mean? And she’s got this friend, see? Her name’s Cheryl or something and she’s dateless, right? So I finally found girls for both of us, get it?”

Aiden grinned. He hadn’t been out since Sophia. That was two months ago. It didn’t hurt so much anymore.

“Turn that frown upside down because do I have a date for you on Saturday night!” Lindsey sang, letting herself into Cheri’s whirlwind swept apartment. That was just like Cheri, always planning what’s next and forgetting about right now’s problems. Like the boiling water on her stove that was overflowing. Lindsey clicked off the burner and danced into Cheri’s bedroom. Sure enough, Cheri sat there, lying on the bed, staring blankly at a soap opera on T.V.

“I’m not dating anymore, Lindsey. I told you that three weeks ago. I’m sick of the heart break.” Cheri ran her smooth fingers through her dark, shoulder length hair. Lindsey pouted.

“But I found someone perfect.” Cheri looked up hopefully but then sank back down into her pool of old issues of Cosmopolitan and Home Life. She turned back to the T.V. where Brenda was kissing Frank for the gazillionth time. Cheri rolled her eyes. She expected Brenda to know that Frank was Rita’s man.

“Um, hello! Earth to Cheri. I said he’s perfect. That means no heartbreak, so you in?” Lindsey twisted her blonde hair idly. It’d take Cheri a while to decide.

“Nah. I’ll miss divorce court if I go,” Cheri sighed.

“You’re kidding me,” Lindsey gaped. What was happening to Cheri?

Cheri smirked. “Yeah, but I don’t really want to go out. I’ve seen enough men to last me forever,” she declared.

“Not these men. My G-d, Cheri, you would have died. This guy was gorgeous. He had these big blue eyes with huge, thick eyelashes and shaggy, dark hair. Jesus. Cheri, he was amazing.”

Cheri rolled over so her back was to Lindsey. Lindsey plopped down onto the bed next to Cheri.

“It’s a well known fact that hot people hang out together so David’s, his name is David, friend must be hot.”

“Since when is this a fact?” Cheri groaned, standing up.

“Look, we hang out even though you’re boring and I’m not but it doesn’t matter because we’re both hot,” Lindsey teased. Cheri glared at her.

“Just give him a chance,” Lindsey pleaded.

“No way,” Cheri assured her. “Besides, you won’t be going anyway.”

“Why not?” The blonde asked, surprised. She sat up.

“Because you’ve got a date with Cleo.”

Lindsey fell backwards onto the bed. “I’ll think of something,” she promised.

Lindsey ran her fingers through Cleo’s hair. There was something she was forgetting but she didn’t really care. Her shirt was half off and Cleo had already managed to lose his pants. Even if she did remember, there wasn’t much she could do. She wasn’t going to leave Cleo in the heat of the moment to run errands or take a shift at the grill.

Something about the grill triggered Lindsey’s memory. She probed into her mind. What was it?

Cleo reached up from holding her waist to help shed her silky INC tank top. He tugged at the zipper gently and pulled the thin, lacy blouse over Lindsey’s head. She smiled at him for the second their lips weren’t touching but then the second was gone and they were that much closer to her bed with the downy comforter and the silky sheets. Lindsey liked silk. She noticed Cleo had silk boxers and grinned to herself.

Aiden sat back, flipping absently through the first few pages of the front section of the newspaper. He couldn’t see anything but that wasn’t important. Scooby, his black lab, came over and rested her head on his lap. With eyes that had gone blind years ago, she stared up sadly, willing him to flip on the lights. Aiden consented and turned up the lights. Scooby settled in, all the while her head still on him thigh. He smiled sadly. He never understood how Scooby knew dark from light when she couldn’t see anything but he never questioned her. She was the love of his life, his girl.

He unconsciously stroked her fur as he stared at his phone. He wished Sophia would call so he could hear her voice, even just to yell at him some more for trying to ruin her happiness. But what about his happiness? He lost the one person who always made him smile, the one person who loved his clumsy, goofy quirks just as much as his deep, sensitive side. Scooby tilted her head up at Aiden, willing him to call someone.

Aiden reached for the phone and dialed the number David had left him. He waited as it rang a few times. Finally someone answered.

“Hello?” the voice yawned. It was a girl yawn. Aiden smiled.

“Hello Cheryl,” Aiden greeted her smoothly.

“My name’s Cheri. Anyone who calls me in the middle of the night and doesn’t even know my name isn’t worth my time.” Cheri snapped. Her sleepy voice had turned shrill. Aiden winced and turned a nasty shade of crimson.

“Wait,” he pleaded, “Don’t hang up yet.”

“Give me one good reason not to.”

“I love you.” Aiden paled. What had he done?

“What the hell is wrong with you? I swear to G-d you call me ever again and I will call the cops on you. You stalker!” Cheri jumped back from the phone, disgusted. Who was calling her? What kind of immature joke was this? She was sick of love. She was sick of middle of the night phone calls. Cheri started to press the “End Call” button on her kitchen phone.

“I’m, I’m sorry. That sort of slipped out. I don’t actually know you yet so it’d be hard to, um, well love you,” Aiden stammered. Cheri grinned. She moved her finger away from the button.

“Who are you, anyway?” She asked half in amusement and half in interest.

“The name’s Bond. James Bond.”

Cheri cocked her head to the side. “Come again?” she asked.

“I’m just kissing, er kidding,” he stuttered. Cheri laughed out loud. She stopped mid laughter. She hadn’t laughed out loud in a while.

“So, Cheri, what do you like to do in your spare time?” Aiden racked his head for good conversation topics. He missed just sitting on the couch, watching TV. with Sophia. They didn’t talk. They just sat there, soaking in each other’s presence.

“I like sleeping. Of course, when creepy stalkers call me,” she teased, “sometimes I even enjoy talking a little.” A little? That was good. That was very good.

“What do you dream about?” Aiden asked. Cheri could hear the smile in his voice.

“I dream about all kinds of things but I never remember my dreams the next day,” she answered.

“My name’s Aiden,” he suddenly remembered.

“Aiden,” Cheri whispered, putting the emphasis on the ‘Ai.’ “Would you believe I already knew that?” she tested him.

“What? No. How?” He stammered. Aiden hated his nervous stammering. He took a deep breath.

“Caller I.D.” Cheri reminded him in a ‘duh’ tone of voice.

“Oh.” Aiden gulped. “I have to go now,” he declared.

“So soon? You just called me,” Cheri asked, surprised. She was beginning to enjoy the conversation.

“Oh, yeah. My dog, Scooby, she’s trying to sleep and I wouldn’t want to keep her up.” Scooby perked her ears up. Cheri laughed again. Aiden loved her laugh. It was high and happy. He found himself laughing, too.

“Goodnight, Aiden,” Cheri whispered.

“Good night,” he offered back. He heard a dull click. She was already gone. Aiden shrugged as Scooby growled curiously.

“I met a girl,” Aiden began, dropping the phone onto his desk. “Her name is Cheri. I said all the wrong things to her but I bet you by next week I’ll have a date with her.” Scooby purred. Aiden rubbed the base of her ears and drifted into thought. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t imagine Sophia’s warm, radiant face. He pictured Cheri’s.

A/N- Welcome to A Little Too Much. This is my new romantic comedy, stay tuned!

Side notes:

1)The dog, Scooby, is based on the love of my dog's life, Jazzy. -Hugs Jasmine- Lol Lyssie.

2)The names, as my mom so kindly pointed out, Cheri and Aiden, are much like Carrie and Aiden from Sex and the City. I didn't plan that at ALL. I don't even watch that show. Please don't think I copied them. Anyway, those names are dedicated to Mel for helping me pick them.

3)The title is for Eli because he sat through allllll my explanations of the story AND helped me pick out a title.

Okay this is my first attempt at non-tragedy. -Grins- It's gonna be a wild ride. Enjoy!

Love,

BitterSweet1991