Rating: Pg-15ish
Comments: I enjoy being random. It's a state of mind, I tell you. (Or, possibly, just the state of my mind.) Written for Tsaiko (who has a pretty website with pretty stories on it at www dot tsaiko dot com :3) as part of the SMP comm.
PS. I kinda took folklorish stuff from three or four different places and smashed it all together because...well, no reason other than it seemed to work best that way, and my brain makes funky connections like that.

Two Princes

“Princes, princes who adore you,” Salem belted out rather loudly as he swung his mop around the floor and did a couple steps in a jig. “Just go ahead now! One has diamonds in his pockets and that's some bread now.” Bobbing his head to the music filtering in through his headphones, Salem plopped the mop back down in the soapy trolley bucket, wrung it out and then slapped it back down on the floor with added emphasis in time with the music he was listening to.

His shaggy black hair was falling in his sky blue almond shaped eyes, but it didn’t matter because the tunes were keeping him happy and keeping his mind off who was or wasn’t present to see his rather tone deaf performance of the song.

Signing up with the Rent-a-Maid service had definitely not been his first choice in jobs, but the demands of keeping oneself solvent while going to school full time had required some kind of income. Cleaning ritzy apartments, offices and public buildings not only paid well, it had flexible hours so that Salem could get his classes in while making enough money to at least swing rent and groceries.

“This one, says he wants to buy you rockets ain't in his head now Yeah!” He belted out, posing in what he knew was an incredibly embarrassing position with his mop, but it was hard to care. The swanky laundry room he was cleaning wasn’t attached to any of the swanky apartments in the complex that it serviced and since it was two in the morning and pouring buckets outside, Salem seriously doubted that there would be anyone to catch him singing to his mop by himself on a Friday night. His usual visitor wasn’t present and Salem feared he finally might have scared off the hottie for good.

He’d been here since midnight, and had so far gone through the offices in front, vacuuming the carpet, emptying the trash and cleaning the small little bathroom that the management used during the day. And he had to say, rich people were total slobs.

Which was probably why they were so content to shell out so much dough to places like Rent-a-Maid to have someone clean up after them.

“It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone!” he warbled again at the top of his lungs before racing down one lane of washers and dryers, making a sharp turn at the end and then racing down the next line of washers and dryers. So it wasn’t the most effective way to mop. Salem really didn’t give a damn. It was way more fun and there was no one to tell him not to do it. And in his disappointment, he needed some fun.

“Then ya try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya try to see the world beyond your front door!” he posed melodramatically and sucked in a breath to belt out the next verse when the music abruptly came to an end. Blinking in confusion, Salem glanced down to see that his headphones had come undone from his MP3 player with the help of a hand.

Looking up sharply he came face to face with a taller, pale blond gentleman who was arching an eyebrow in obvious amusement. “Gyah!” Okay, so it wasn’t the most dignified of reactions, but scream Salem did as he whirled around, slipping on the wet tile he’d just mopped and falling less than gracefully onto the floor with a painful thud.

“I liked the first song better,” Naaki told him in total seriousness.

“You enjoy doing that, don’t you,” Salem muttered back darkly, wincing as he climbed to his feet. His scuffed converse tennis shoes and his motley ripped shirts and faded, tattered cords looked even grungier against Naaki’s crisp and ironed black trousers, fresh button down blue shirt, tie and sports jacket. Salem didn’t even want to know what the man did for a living that required him to dress like that at two in the morning on the weekends. “Don’t you have anything better to do with your Friday nights then pester the help?”

“Nope,” Naaki gave him a confident smile as he slid into a booth that was placed between two dyers for residents to work at while waiting for their laundry. “Dance, peasant, dance.”

Salem shot him a less than amused look. Naaki merely grinned back.

Now life was perfect. He didn’t know what was up with Naaki, but the man never failed to show up to watch Salem finish up cleaning the laundry room. Surprisingly, having a midnight stalker on the job wasn’t half bad. Naaki wasn’t creepy at all. Although his accent came through every once in a while and the way he worded some things was a bit strange. It was just that Salem didn’t exactly see what the man was trying to accomplish. He’d made no really overt attempt to befriend Salem.

In all seriousness, he wouldn’t mind if his stalker got a bit more grabby.

In fact, when Salem thought about it, he’d been the one to invite Naaki out for coffee, out for a walk, out for a movie. He’d dropped all kinds of hints, which had fallen on deaf ears since Naaki had never once seemed to express anything past casual curiosity in Salem. And granted, while Salem considered himself the soul of creative social interaction, he had a hard time fathoming that Naaki seemed to be more interested in inspecting him like a bizarre species of diatom than as a potential romantic interest.

Still, if Naaki wanted dinner and a show, well, who was Salem to refuse? Shrugging, Salem popped his headphones back into his player, posed dramatically and belted out, “Somebody told me you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend that I had in February of last year!” He’d listened to this particular playlist long enough to have memorized the lyrics to all the songs and he tried to pretend that Naaki wasn’t in the room. That Naaki wasn’t watching him with interest as Salem twitched around like a rabbit on psychotropic drugs.

It was just damned hard to ignore the way that Naaki was watching his body move with every jump and bump, and if the man didn’t stop blatantly staring at his ass, Salem would not be able to stop himself from completely embarrassing himself. He wondered briefly what Naaki’s reaction might be if he simply jumped into the man’s lap and molested his gorgeous mouth while digging his fingers into that delicious looking thick wavy hair.

Salem snorted as he tossed the mop to the side and hefted up the trolley bucket of mucky soap water. Naaki would probably frown slightly, push Salem off his lap and straighten his tie before inquiring as to what manner of insanity had led Salem to attempt such actions. Heaven knew that had been his reaction when Salem had grabbed his hand and tried to drag him into an arcade just last week. It had been a month since they’d met for the first time late one night and Salem had thought to celebrate.

He really should have known better.

Or maybe he should have just stuck to making friends with the people he saw in classes and dating the people who went to his college. Naaki was entirely too far out of his league. He dumped the bucket of soapy water into the sink, bobbing his head as he sang, “You can say that I'm the one curly fry in the box of the regular, messing with the flavor oh the flavor that you savor, saving me for last but you better not eat me at all!”

Wheeling the trolley bucket back into its cubby hole, he turned around just in time to see Naaki eyeballing his butt, yet again. He was at a crossroads, Salem supposed. He could pretend as if he’d never had caught Naaki looking him up and he could pretend that he had no idea that Naaki might see him as something other than just the help, or he could push his luck and actually try to put a move on the man since subtlety was not working at all.

Pulling his head phones off and sitting the MP3 player down on the table, Salem decided that he’d never truly been one for caution in the face of indecision.

Throwing one leg over him before Naaki had a chance to escape, Salem straddled his lap. “Salem,” Naaki started out in his no nonsense voice, and Salem decided that there had to be something seriously wrong with him that he considered it such a turn on. Tilting his head in, he sealed his lips over Naaki’s as he curled his arms in and tunneled his fingers through Naaki’s white-blond hair.

Naaki was rigid for a moment, but then he relaxed enough to allow Salem to slip his tongue in and explore. Of course, Naaki should have known better. Give Salem an inch, and you might as well give him the whole fucking mile. Grinning against Naaki’s gorgeous lips, Salem shifted slightly as he rubbed his pelvis up against Naaki’s in an attempt to get closer. And since one rub wasn’t enough, he was practically dry humping Naaki by the time Naaki’s hand had landed on the small of his back before trailing down to grab his butt.

Now, Salem was not a slut. He could count on one hand the number of lovers he’d ever had in his life and most of the encounters had been in his ill conceived youth as he’d attempted to come out of the closet in high school. It had been a few years since he’d even seriously made out with someone.

However, how little he knew of Naaki didn’t seem to matter too terribly much. He wanted to rip the man’s clothes off and rub himself all over Naaki. He was like freaking catnip to the repressed soul. In fact, the taking off of clothes sounded like an excellent idea and Salem untangled his fingers out of Naaki’s hands in favor of attempting to loosen his tie and get his fingers at the buttoned shirt. Plus, he smelled heavenly. It was the sharp tang of the sea breeze practically in person. He buried his nose in the crook of Naaki’s neck as he reached down to stick a hand down Naaki’s perfectly pristine trousers.

That, though, seemed to be the deal breaker for Naaki and Salem suddenly found himself on the floor as Naaki shoved him off, panting heavily.

“Why’d you do that?” There was no way to keep the frustration out of his voice as he asked. Hell, it was all he could do not to pout like a spoiled child denied his candy as he pulled his legs in Indian style to look up at Naaki.

“Too soon. Too fast,” Naaki coughed uncomfortably.

No, Salem wanted to protest, it really wasn’t! It was perfect timing and they hadn’t been moving fast enough. He practically had the blue balls to prove it. However, from Naaki’s expression, he could see he wasn’t going to get anywhere with those excuses. Well, he’d gambled and lost.

Wasn’t the first time.

“Okay, so we talk then?” He climbed to his feet and plopped down on the bench opposite Naaki, leaning forward to rest his chin on the table. “What do you do for a living?”

“Work,” Naaki replied cautiously, looking every inch as if he expected Salem to jump the table and molest him if he dared to blink. Salem shot him a slightly disgruntled look which Naaki returned. “What do you do for a living?” Naaki parroted the question back, suspicious.

“I’m still going to school. Currently, I’m a junior majoring in marine biology. I plan on attending grad school when I finish up and then I want to get a professorship so that I can research and teach.” Well, it wasn’t like he had anything to hide. Unlike some people. He raised an eyebrow in challenge to Naaki. “I’m currently working on an undergrad project that involves the insemination and the study of the reproductive cycles of Busycon contrarium.”

“You’re researching the ejaculation of sea snails?” Naaki said in a less than enthusiastic tone.

“Well, everything has sex somehow,” Salem returned cheerfully. It was just that it seemed like invertebrates were getting way more action than he was ever going to.

“Have you ever stopped to consider why you chose that particular field of study?”

“Yes, I have,” Salem answered with mock seriousness. “My ex-roommate was convinced that snails—whelks in particular—simply spontaneously cloned themselves and he just didn’t believe me when I assured them that there was such a thing as snail spunk, so I set off to prove him wrong.”

“No,” Naaki looked less than amused, however, “I meant about studying marine biology. You seem to have a fascination with water.”

“Water rocks.”

“Look, be serious, please, Salem,” Naaki said, rubbing a hand tiredly over his forehead. “I was sent here to bring you to the king.”

Really? This was news to him. His mother, of course, had mentioned something strange in her last conversation with him, but with his mother, he never quite knew what to expect. “King? What king?” He decided to play dumb. Partly because he wanted to know what exactly was going on and partly because he was finding it quite fun to tease Naaki.

“My father,” Naaki grumbled.

“So that would make you a prince,” Salem noted rather astutely.

“Yes. Look, thirty years ago, your mother was supposed to marry my father in an arranged marriage,” Naaki stated gruffly.

“Given that you aren’t my brother, I’d have to assume one of them called it off,” Salem smirked.

“Yes, your mother ran off with some lan—commoner,” Naaki corrected himself last minute and Salem had to hide a smile behind his hand. “It was decreed that she would only be allowed to retain her married status with this man if she allowed for the arranged marriage of her first child to the first child of my father’s.”

There was no way he was marrying some watery tart. “There’s no way I’m marrying someone I’ve never met. And kings? Commoners? Princes? This is the twenty first century. There’s no way my mother is any kind of royalty, trust me. I’ve seen her shave six months of hair off her legs with half an Almond Joy hanging out of her mouth while watching the Young and the Restless.”

Much to Salem’s undying amusement, Naaki’s face turned a spectacular shade of red. “Come with me.” He gruffly pulled Salem to his feet and hauled him to the door.

“Where are we going?”

“To the ocean,” Naaki answered sharply.

“At two in the morning during a storm?”

“It’s barely drizzling,” Naaki dismissed, pulling on Salem’s wrist until Salem acquiesced to follow him to the fancy BMW parked not too far from the swanky apartment’s main office.

“Nice ride.”

“I suppose,” Naaki said curtly, unlocking the door and shoving Salem towards it. Grinning, Salem made himself comfortable in the front seat and laughed as Naaki slid awkwardly into the driver’s seat and checked the mirrors six times before putting the key in the ignition.

“Drive often?”

“No. I hate this beastly contraption.” Naaki swore loudly as the engine purred to life.

“What exactly is it that you do for a living again?”

“I unearth lost treasure.” Well, no wonder Naaki had never told him what he did for a living. No one in their right mind would believe him. Salem had to bite his lip to keep from giggling.

“Like Indiana Jones?” However, his own mischievous nature seemed to be getting the best of him.

“Who?” The bewilderment in Naaki’s voice almost had Salem cracking up completely in laughter. “Nevermind. It doesn’t matter. It’s just very lucrative.”

“I’ll say. You know what rent is for that apartment complex? I could pay an entire semester’s tuition with the cash it would take to stay there one month.” Salem whistled. Naaki shot him a silencing glare. Well, far be it for him to mess with a man on a mission. Leaning back, Salem decided to enjoy the ride and watched as the scenery as it flashed by.

And since Salem had never in his life lived too far from the sea, Naaki was putting the car into park at a deserted parking lot by the beach before Salem had time to truly settle in.

“So, now you’re going to tell me why the ocean is going to explain an arranged marriage?” He looked up innocently at Naaki who only blushed and fumbled out of the car awkwardly.

“You can quit saying it like that. It won’t be as loathsome as you think,” Naaki muttered, tugging Salem out of the car and pulling him towards the surf. “Your betrothed isn’t all that much to write home about, but he’s a decent guy. He works hard.” The blush on Naaki’s face intensified. “He’s willing to compromise and he understands your position in the landed world.”

Well at least he was a he, Salem decided. Although, he had to admit that with the way Naaki was talking, he was going to be disappointed as hell. He didn’t want Naaki’s brother. He wanted Naaki. “I don’t understand.” Pity that playing stupid seemed to be the only way to drag information out of Naaki. Maybe all the quiet solemnity he’d taken Naaki for, maybe all the distance the man had seemed to put between them, had less to do with any effect Salem had on him and more to do with the fact that Naaki was simply shy.

And damned if that didn’t make Naaki even sexier looking.

“Your mother is the youngest princess of Dragon king whose kingdom resides within the Pacific Ocean. My father was the youngest prince of the Serpent king who resides in the Atlantic. We’re aquatic creatures, as you are in spite of being a half blooded land dweller.” Naaki looked at him hesitantly, but Salem could see the sincerity shining in Naaki’s blue green eyes.

“So what you’re saying is that I’m a halfblooded Undine prince.”

Naaki gaped at him. “You knew--”

“Gills appear on the small of my back anytime I get more than waist deep in water and my mother has an entire room of her house that has seashells from around the world—half of which are in locations that no one has dared to venture—plastered up as wallpaper,” Salem snickered. “I’ve also been taken on a couple trips to meet my grandpa in his crystal palace guarded by shrimp soldiers and crab generals under the sea. I’m quite aware of what I am.”

And the pole-axed expression on Naaki’s face deserved a snicker. He simply couldn’t help himself.

“You knew all along?!” Small fins flared out on the sides of Naaki’s neck. Now see, if Salem had seriously pissed off or shocked Naaki before this, he could have better known who he was dealing with and taken advantage of the situation sooner. Damn him for being so mild mannered.

“That I was a prince? Sure. That I was engaged? Not so much.” Salem shrugged, toeing off his shoes and wading into the surf. Naaki didn’t even bother with that as he followed Salem out into salty water. “So, since you seem to be the bearer of the news, just who am I engaged to?” He turned abruptly to face Naaki who pulled up short inches from Salem. Watching with not a few butterflies in his stomach as uncertainly crept into Naaki’s expression, Salem waited for him to speak.

“Me. You’re engaged to me.” Naaki finally admitted.

Salem wanted to do a cartwheel in happiness. “But you said he wasn’t much to write home about.”

“He isn’t,” Naaki returned hotly. “There’s no way I can compare with the men here on land. Did you see those men looking at you when we had coffee? At the movies? When you wanted to go into the arckyade?”

“Arcade,” Salem corrected quietly.

“Exactly! I can’t compete with that world! What would you possibly ever see in me? I can’t be too far from the sea, so we’d have to live practically on the water. You barely know me, and you seem to be perfectly content with going to college and starting a career.” Naaki told him, clearly upset.

“But didn’t you say you understood my position and you’d be willing to compromise?”

“Yes, but why would you want to when you’re perfectly happy with your life as it is?”

Silly man. Had he simply missed the entire part where Salem had tried to jump his bones? Had he somehow misinterpreted every overture Salem had ever made to ask him out and to get close to him? “Of course I want to marry you. I wouldn’t mind dating some more, but you’re everything I could possibly want,” he told Naaki honestly with a lopsided smile.

“What?” Water lapped up against the legs of Naaki’s business suit.

“I’m interested. I’m in. I like you. Mightpossiblyloveyou. You’re dead hot. Not to mention intriguing. Plus, you understand a whole side of me that I’d never be able to explain to some land dweller. I want to kiss you. I want to take your clothes off. I want to molest you until you beg me for more.” Salem wasn’t sure he could make it any clearer than that.

“You--” Naaki started slowly, the blush reappearing on his cheeks.

“Want to fuck you rotten, oh yeah. Want to be in a long term relationship with you? Hell yeah. What do you say?”

Naaki adjusted his tie and stepped closer, invading Salem’s personal space so that Salem had to look up to see his eyes. “Of course.”

And with that, Naaki tackled Salem into the surf, laughing.

It was music to Salem’s ears.

The End

Songs: 1)Two Princes -- The Spin Doctors
2) Pinch Me -- Barenaked Ladies
3) Somebody Told Me -- The Killers
4) Too Much Food --Jason Mraz