What do you think would happen

If you suddenly up

And died?

Allow me to say,

It’s not what you’d think.

Funerals are depressing, yes,

But when it's yours?

I didn’t even see my sister,

I overheard that she was crying

So hard

That she had to leave.

I would have felt touched.

Except I’m dead.

Yeah…

And then there’s my stuff.

Naturally, when one dies,

One’s family comes along

And takes the first pretty thing to catch their eye.

So, with me being…well, ME,

My whole room was quickly stripped to the carpet.

Nice to know what was going through their heads as I died.

Oh, and let’s not forget my enemies.

Honestly, I couldn’t believe it.

I mean,

I’ve always HEARD about it being done, but...

My “worst enemy,” as I saw her, was actually wearing,

Get this—a hula skirt and coconut bra!

While dancing on my grave!

For Pete’s sake!

At least wait a day before rejoicing!

If I could have, I would have torn off her coconut bra...

Wait—

That sounded so wrong. XP

Ok, well...I would have stripped her skirt.

That’s wrong too!

Umm...tackled her? No...

Fought her? No, she’s in a bra and grass and it’s all muddy...

Right, so anyway.

My friends, one might ask.

“Don’t your friends care?”

My

cough

Friends?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

teary eyed

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

My friends? Care? I’m sorry.

snort I’ll try snort not to laugh...

Ow, my tongue.

I hope that answers your question.

Really,

They don’t care.

I mean, they’d sooner kiss a moose than bat a lash at my death.

Granted...the people they date all look like moose anyway, but...

Come to think of it, I’D rather kiss a moose than go to my funeral.

Where’s the nearest moose farm, did you say?

Anyway, as you see, this is what REALLY happens when you die.

Ok, so maybe I’m just really unloved

(I found out later that my sister was crying with joy -.- ),

But this is what happens!

It is!

Why would I lie?

friend whispers

Shut up...

DEN!

No, wait...

NED!

No, that’s not write either...

Nde?

Dne?

OHHH!

ahem

END!