When you finally tear this family apart, you can look back with pride
And I’ll feel the honor of saluting you
You won, asshole
You got everything you’ve ever dreamed of

You will finally be happy and the world will be yours
Despite all obstacles, all people that got in the way, you got what you wanted
It’s everything you deserve
No matter how many times you mess up, you can run the victory lap back to forgiveness
And who should dare stop you?
We’re such good Christians, we don’t even care if you mean it
All you need is a rote memorization of the sinner’s prayer
I am an evil man to question your motives
You’re better than me because you qualify for the lowest common denominator of spirituality
The Prodigal Son learned that his trick would work more than once
Whenever he got hungry again, he just had to come home
Eventually, he didn’t even have to leave
People will love you when you tell them what they want to hear
Make them happy and you don’t even have to say anything
You don’t even have to make everyone happy
Just the most important people
Then there’s that chain of command all the way down from the most naïve to the most cautious
When the cautious are the children of the naïve, you win, asshole
You only need to play with one puppet
She will then try to break her children into conformity
Because love is impatient, vitriolic, and selfish
Children get smiles beaten onto their faces
So guess what? That’s when you win, asshole
You got everything you’ve ever dreamed of

There’s even more coming
Nobody listens to the opposition anymore
You make the right people happy
Everyone else is simply a self-righteous legalist
It’s the perfect crime that isn’t even a crime
No wonder hypocrisy is so popular
I look forward to smiling and waving at a line of beautiful people
Maybe I can touch the hem of your jeans to absorb some of you
And I’ll learn how to get what I want
So whenever my children disagree with me, I’ll shut them out and trip them of their privileges
That’s the unfortunate part of getting what you want
But after that, you win again, asshole
You got everything you’ve ever dreamed of

So you can turn on the Christian radio station for effect
Not only am I not better than you, but you’re better than me
It’s easy to get defensive and accuse your enemy of having a spirit of unforgiveness
What’s hard is working out your salvation in fear and trembling
Who needs that when you can repent on your deathbed?
It’s the perfect crime that isn’t even a crime
You won, asshole
You tore apart a family in order to secure happiness
You alienated a daughter from her mother
You broke down what used to be honest communication
You got to be happy
No one else means anything to you
You have no personal accountability
But you got everything you’ve ever dreamed of