A/N: This is just a bit of nonsense, really. It’s all about how idiotic royalty is, usually, and has a few really well developed characters, or at least for a story of mine. Don’t expect to see a real story, this is mostly just for fun, and I think it’s funny. So there.

In Which We Are Introduced to Our Heroine, Antagonist-ish Character, Partners in Kidnapped-ship, and, If It Please You, Some of the Most Idiotic Characters Ever to Hit a Story

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a princess. Her name was Princess Ellyanara, she had long flowing red hair, emerald eyes, was tall and willowy, and wore a lot of tiaras and velvet. Your typical princess. She was involved in your typical princess-type activities, which included embroidery, playing that little drummy thing that all they do it rat-a-tat-tat in a really annoying way, riding horses (but sidesaddle, and never alone!), dancing, and making fine pastries.

This all changed though, as times are wont to do. Our dear, dear, Princess Elly was kidnapped by the dread dragon Flamrin. She was sitting outside on the castle balcony, just doing her embroidery, innocently, when a gigantic red (well, red and white, he was that old!) dragon swooped down upon her, and carried her off. As Elly had undergone the most strenuous training, she knew exactly what to do when being carried off by a dragon.

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!” she wailed, whacking at the dragon’s claws with her fists, and kicking her legs, as the dragon was lightly peppered by arrows.

As soon as they were out of sight of the castle, the dragon slowed down to a near crawl, and held Elly, who was nearly hoarse, up next to his great head.

“Would you please stop that? You’re giving me a migraine!” he grumbled, glaring at the princess, who still emitted faint shrieks whenever she could gather enough breath to scream.

All Elly replied with was a faint “Eep!”

“Thank you. Now, at my cave, I have three-no, only two now, one ran off a week or two…or three…or a month…ago…” Flamrin brought his other paw up and tapped his jaw, the perfect picture of senility. “Well, I have two other princesses. I’m sure they’re quite like you and you’ll get along quite well.”

Any response Elly might have had, she forgot, as Flamrin landed, and had to do a sort of juggling movement to keep from landing right on top of her. She clung to one of the claws he held out reassuringly, and walked towards the cave with unsteady legs, still a little queasy from the tossing about.

“Beau!” Flamrin called, “Daminoa! Where are those confounded princesses?”

He nosed around a little, poking his nose into a few human-sized rooms. “Ow!” he wailed, pulling his nose out of a room with a sign with ‘Dining Room’ written in calligraphy on it. Rubbing the wounded appendage, he sniffled. “You really didn’t have to do that, you know.”

“Actually, yes I did.” A person in a velvet dress covered by a cleaning smock marched out of the room, brandishing a candelabra and polishing cloth. “Don’t be such a baby.”

“I’m DOT a baby!” Flamrin poked his nose gingerly, as if trying to see if it was still all there, then turned away and started sobbing loudly into his paws.

“Huh. You might have sneezed, and then you would only have one princess.” The girl tutted at the dragon as if he was a little child, waving the candelabra at him, to emphasize her words. “You should really watch where you’re- oh, no.”

Elly was petrified of the other princess, clinging onto the dragon. She had already quite forgotten her fear of the great beast.

“Not another one. Ah, well, I suppose there’s nothing for it.” The princess shoved the cloth into a pocket of her smock, tucked the candelabra under her arm, and held out a hand stained with silver polish. “I’m Princess Bearequiertia, of the kingdom of Dejaga, fellow prisoner of the dread dragon Flamrin.”

Elly stood speechlessly for a minute, blinking dumbly at the girl with a long name.

“Am I really a dread dragon?” Flamrin wiped his eyes and gave his princess a watery (but needle-sharp!) smile.

“Yes you are, Flamrin. Go to sleep.”

Flamrin obediently wandered off into a bigger cave.

“Poor creature.” Beaurequietia raised her eyebrows. “He just gets more and more senile by the day.”

“Senile? I suppose…”

“You look intimidated.” The princess tapped her chin inquisitively. “Well, you can call me Beau, so you can ask me any questions, I’ll be sure to answer them. Now go, please, before I have a cerebral hernia from talking with you.”

“A what?” Elly blinked at her.

“It means my brain will implode if I hang out with princesses too long.” Beau turned up her nose at the girl, which was difficult, because Elly was a few inches taller than her.

“Um…all right…” Elly sniffled, and obediently turned around, looking at the labels on the doors.

Beau was apparently pricked by sympathy, because she spun around, and took her by the arm. “This way.” She said, pulling the confused girl by the arm towards a doorway marked, in the same writing, Kitchen. “Can you boil an egg?”

“Y-yes.” Elly sniffled. “I’m Elly.”

“Lovely. None of this ‘Princess Elly, of the kingdom of Wherever, fellow prisoner of the dread dragon Flamrin’ nonsense. And you know how to boil an egg! Splendid! You’re of more use than Princess Daminoa.” Beau ranted, her voice laden with sarcasm.

“Princess who?” Elly quavered, not quite sure what to do. Her princess lessons had never told her what to do when she was faced down by a short (or short to her, she was 5’ 10”) chubby princess wearing a smock.

“Princess Daminoa from Dalunque. And she never lets anyone forget it. She’s just asking for a good slap.” Beau fumed.

“Oh.” Was all Elly could think of as a response. “Oh.” She said again.

“Pull yourself together, girl!” Beau told her sharply. “Can you polish silver?”

Elly sniffled again, and looked around for a handkerchief. Beau pulled one out of her pocket.

“I’ll take that as a negative. Oh, well.”

A/N: I TOLD you not to expect a real story! Anyone who loves it so far, throw your hands up in the air and cheer! looks around cricket noise throws hands in the air WOOT!