December 19, 2005
Girl With A Mask

Dear Person,

I don’t know who exactly I am writing this letter to so I put that. I wasn’t happy. Maybe that’s why I did what I did. I know it must have been horrible to come into my room and see me hanging there. Wow. But I have my reasons. You might not believe that but I do. Please understand that everyone has a place in this world. Mine just disappeared. I fail to see the point anymore. I fail to see those that love me.

I have heard people talk about suicide. They say it is selfish: escaping into death while all loved ones around you suffer because you are not there. I am not going to deny that what I did was selfish and wrong. Even still, I don’t see how I could ever be missed. Between my father’s drinking problems and my mother’s workaholic nature, I don’t feel important. Plus the fact that my best friend on earth abandoned me for her boyfriend and my own boyfriend is too caught up with his “other” girlfriend to notice me or care. As you, reader, can tell, my life is pretty much a soap opera in itself.

There are other reasons that lead to this. I wasn’t satisfied with my work in school. I mean I was doing well, just not well enough. I suppose I’m one of those people that’s never happy. I never smiled, never laughed, not recently. Never talked either. Would you want me to go on living like that? Did anyone ever notice that I needed help? No they didn’t. Well then, you will probably regret my death as much as I will regret dying.

It won’t be so bad. I’ll have my own miniature bed to sleep in forever, peacefully and happily. I won’t be ignored because you will all be thinking of me constantly and wondering why, how you could have stopped it, what you did wrong. You did nothing short of killing me. Maybe I’m just the girl from your English class who handed you papers and said “You’re welcome.” Most likely though, I’m someone who you were sure you loved and appreciated, but even then I know better.

If you’re crying, then think differently about this. Don’t look at this as a suicide. Think of it more as a goodbye.

So as I leave my home,
I’ll sleep in no remorse.
You think you’re all alone,
But really, you’re happy of course.

For you do as you please,
Where people live their dreams.
I have left with so much ease,
Nevermore in this world to be.

With much sorrow to you,
The Girl With A Mask