Chapter: 8
To Stand or Fall

“You won’t leave me alone with him, will you?” Allison Bennett’s quiet plea was almost pitiful, yet it possessed more than enough strength to crush Devon Schoffe’s heart within her chest.

Standing in the doorway of Allison’s room, Devon felt the guilt filling her heart and churning with all the putrid vigor of hell itself. She had no intentions of leaving Allison alone with a psychopath like Peter Svahe, yet a sense of abused responsibility plagued her.

It was Saturday: the first day of Allison’s visitations with Svahe. Although none of them could tell from inside WPCC – a facility intentionally built without many windows – the day was drab and overcast. The Arizona heat had topped ninety–seven, but it remained a constant 67 within the facility itself.

Allison had not slept well Friday night – worse than usual, it seemed. There were dark circles beneath her wide, frightened eyes, evidencing her insomnia. Generally she managed two to four hours of sleep depending upon her condition, but now she looked like she hadn’t even gotten a whole hour.

To be entirely truthful, Devon had not slept easily either. Nerves and doubt made poor bedfellows: not only did they steal the covers, but they also snored. Now that the time was at hand, the entire plan seemed ridiculous and entirely too risky, and Devon had wrestled with herself all morning over the affair.

There was plenty of time to change your mind earlier – it’s too late to back out now.

But the fact remained that there were so many variables and so many things that could go wrong – especially concerning the legality of the operation. There would be no problem from relatives of Allison – they had given full control to Devon Schoffe as Allison’s personal nurse – but they still had to worry about Svahe’s family – wherever the hell they were – and the Department of Unstable Criminal Confinement.

Devon wasn’t sure exactly how he was going to do it, but Bard had promised to get rid of Svahe’s guards again – without Doctor McCarthy finding out, of course. If Davis did catch wind of that particular aspect of the plot, there was the possibility that he would report each and every one of the doctors in Ward #4 – Kim, Jason, Devon, Bard, and the rest.

That in itself was a risk, and then there was also the prospect of Svahe’s superior brain function. There was the possibility that Allison would come away from “treatment” worse off than she already was. There was also the chance that they were simply setting themselves up for a major letdown and nothing.

But we won’t think that way.

Devon unstuck her jaw and stepped forward, holding out Allison’s housecoat.

“I’m not going anywhere, baby,” she replied firmly as Allison slipped into the gown and tightened it around her frail body for added warmth. Scrubs just didn’t cut it in WPCC.

Devon gave her charge’s shoulders a reassuring squeeze and turned the girl around to face her. “We’re in this together.”

And we’ll finish together.

Allison offered a feeble smile that allowed Devon a glimpse of her thoughts.

She’s exhausted, the doctor thought. Mentally, emotionally, physically… She’s had enough of this and she wants better.

Allison had spent enough sleepless nights staring into the dark corners of the room, convinced someone or something was ready to pounce on her.

As she steered Allison towards the door, Devon found herself praying – praying for success and even safety. She was surprised by this involuntary action and also by the fact that she wasn’t sure to whom she was praying.

To whoever’s listening, she thought with a trace of a grin.

Instantly, Peter Svahe’s awful face appeared before her eyes, and she shuddered.

They left the room together, Devon guiding Allison down the hall with a hand posted firmly on the girl’s back. They passed several other doctors and patients in the hall, but both nurse and charge avoided eye–contact with anyone. The walk in itself was going to take a lot out of Allison, and questions and small talk would not fill her with any more confidence.

They were joined by Doctors Jason, Kim and Bard at the security station, and the party of five continued on to the elevator.

“Good to see you’re feeling a little better, Ms. Bennett,” Bard told Allison, giving her a kind smile.

Devon had always liked Bard’s smile: his eyes crinkled when he did so.

Allison was only able to return the kind gesture weakly. Devon could tell just by looking at her that the girl’s insides were already knotting with fear. Her hands were trembling, and she was wringing the hem of her nightgown ceaselessly.

Allison’s hair was more frazzled than usual, hanging over her shoulders in uneven waves of brown. Her skin was so pale and oily that it was almost translucent; purple bags of fleshy wrinkles underlined her eyes, making them dark and haunted – perhaps even more than normal. Concealed by the bathrobe and t-shirt she wore, the yellowed–black bruising on her shoulder – a testament to her last fit of insanity – stood out vividly against her pallid flesh.

Devon studied her charge’s countenance with concern as they walked, then placed a reassuring arm around the smaller girl’s waist and gave her a gentle kiss on the temple.

“It’ll be okay,” she whispered in Allison’s ear.

Allison didn’t seem to notice. If anything, her trembling intensified.

They piled into the elevator at the end of the hall.

“Warren’s getting rid of the guards again?” Jason asked of Bard, his voice low and his eyes alert.

“To my understanding, yes.” Bard stepped in after Devon and Allison and held the ‘door open’ button until Kim had boarded as well. They made sure no one was coming before he slapped the “basement” button; the chain metal doors slammed shut, barring their escape.

As he sank against the wall of the rattling elevator, Bard concluded, “Blaine’s supposed to keep an eye on McCarthy and let us know if he’s coming our way.”

“He shouldn’t, because he knows we’re visiting,” Kim said in a tone meant to reassure them all. “I doubt he’d feel it necessary to interfere – unless he gets wind of any trouble.”

“Or if he finds out about the guards.” Bard sighed and folded his arms across his chest. “I don’t know, Kim… Davis has always found ways to surprise me when I least expect it.”

“We’ve just gotta stay one step ahead of him,” Jason said roguishly. He stood against the east wall, furthest from Kim – purposely; their relationship wasn’t ready to go public yet. “We just have to take this easy and see how everything plays out.”

They rode the rest of the way down in silence, listening to the rattling of the elevator, watching the floors whiz by through the chain metal doors.

Devon stroked Allison’s back unconsciously, soothingly. Allison rocked back and forth, shifting her weight from one foot to the next, her eyes fixed almost madly on the glowing numbers above the sliding elevator doors.

Two, one… Basement. Devon glanced at Allison, saw the rigid line of her set jaw and her hardened eyes. Doom.

There was a tremendous shudder, and then the elevator screeched to a halt. The doors slid open again, admitting them into the dimly lit hall of Ward 23. A wave of cooler air hit them, causing Devon to shiver; she replaced her hand at the small of Allison’s back – felt the girl trembling – and gave her charge a gentle push out of the elevator.

The halls were eerily still. The drone of the air conditioning rumbled above their heads, but that was the only sound besides their traipsing footsteps.

They threaded their way down the narrow hallway, around trolleys and wheelchairs parked outside doors. The lack of any type of décor was unsettling; the only colors besides white came from the green floor tiles and the brown handrail that ran the length of the hall.

A dull fluorescent overhead flickered as they passed beneath it, and Devon felt Allison jump slightly as its buzzing increased momentarily. The nurse pursed her lips and kept the girl moving forward, determined that the faster they completed this, the better.

Svahe’s new room was down the east wing of the Ward. McCarthy had almost shit himself at Jason and Devon’s request to relocate the convict, but having already submitted to their earlier request, he reluctantly made arrangements for Svahe to be transferred ASAP. The murderer had moved into his new living quarters the day before, and although security around him had been tightened, he had voiced no complaints as yet.

But we never got any complaints about him. A lot of the guards who watched him got freaked out by how he just sat and stared at the wall for hours. They couldn’t ask for a better–behaved subject, but he’s just too creepy to work with.

They turned the corner, and everyone felt distinct relief to see that this passage – not unlike the last – was completely devoid of life. The door near the end of the hall was Svahe’s, and there was no sign of any security guards or observers that would report their activities.

So far so good.

Then –

“No,” Allison said.

She halted in her tracks, effectively bringing the entire company to a standstill. “No,” she repeated, and tears were streaming from her haunted eyes, rolling down her waxen cheeks. “I – I – I –”

Her voice failed her, and she mouthed wordlessly, staring wildly at the door that would take them into Peter Svahe’s domain.

“I can’t,” she gasped, rocking violently and almost falling. “I won’t.”

Devon wrapped her arm around the girl, attempted to pull Allison along beside her. “It’s okay, hon – we talked about this, remember? It’s like a checkup – you go in, you talk, you go out. It’ll be easy –”

“I can’t, Devon,” Allison said, looking up at her nurse. She grasped a fistful of Devon’s doctor’s scrubs and held fast. “I… I can’t…” Despite being a lot smaller than Devon, despite her weakened state, she was able to hold the nurse in place with a strength leant her by her very will.

Kim had come around Allison’s right side, and she now laid a gentle hand on the girl’s sweating forearm, attempting – like Devon – to gently pull the girl along. “It’s gonna be just fine, Allison – we’re gonna stay with you, remember –”

“Don’t touch me!!” Allison shrieked, jerking her arm out of Kim’s grasp, reeling away from Devon and the other doctors. She slammed her shoulder into the wall to their right, hugging her arms around her middle and shivering uncontrollably.

“Get the fuck away!” she screamed, impossibly loud in the empty corridor. Her dark eyes were teeming with angry tears. “Don’t fucking touch me!!”

“Don’t touch her,” Devon said in agreement, throwing an arm out to catch Jason in the stomach. “Don’t touch her. She’s having a panic attack – not one of her fits. Let it pass, she’ll be fine in a moment.”

– as Allison sank to a seated position on the floor, huddled against the wall, screaming incoherently. Her shrieks were deafening, and they rang in the empty hall. At first she was passive, curling tighter and tighter into a ball, hugging her legs to her breasts, ranting about nonsense, repeating again and again that she couldn’t see Svahe –

And lashed out with her fist, punching a clean hole in the whitewashed plaster wall, and then punched it again, leaving a bloody fist print, her knuckles now coated with sheetrock powder, mixed with blood –

Shit.

Devon lunged, grasping Allison’s fist before she could do any more harm to the wall or herself. Murmuring soothing words, Devon clutched Allison’s arm to her stomach, taking full advantage of the fact that Allison would not swing out with her other fist: doing so would leave her undefended.

Allison attempted to wrench her arm free, but suddenly lacked the strength to do so. Devon gathered the struggling girl to herself – not without difficulty – and enfolded Allison in a tight hug from behind, resting her cheek against the crown of the girl’s head.

Allison’s struggles remained violent, her screams just as intense, but gradually they began to die down. The other doctors stood around in a semicircle, unsure of how to help, wary that Devon was doing a fine job all on her own –

Then Allison sighed, relaxing in Devon’s embrace. She was clutching the shoulder of Devon’s shirt so tightly that the material was close to ripping. As it was, it had stretched to reveal one freckled shoulder.

“Are you okay now?” Devon murmured softly, her eyes closed, remaining perfectly still.

Silence.

And then they all saw the top of Allison’s head nod slowly from within the tangle of arms and legs. She relaxed her hold on Devon’s sleeve, and the nurse slowly got to her feet, pulling Allison up with her. The girl looked thoroughly embarrassed, and her tearful eyes remained cast on the floor as Devon brushed her off, then repeated the same treatment on herself.

“All better now, right?” Devon asked, fixing her shirt.

Allison nodded mutely in agreement, ratty locks of hair lashing her cheek with the jerky movement.

“Alright, you’re fine. Everything’s okay.” Devon gave Bard a short nod, and the older doctor resumed walking down the hall. Kim and Jason followed reluctantly, and after a moment, Devon and Allison brought up the rear of the entourage, following at a short distance behind the others.

Allison stared constantly at the ground, her hands folded together at her belly. The knuckles of her right hand were still bleeding.

Devon bit her lower lip, staring intently at Jason’s back. She was far from angry at Allison for the outburst – far from frustrated.

She thought: I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry you have to go through all this.

What was frustrating to Devon was the fact that – through all these years being Allison’s nurse – she had often wanted to just shake Allison, scream at her, and get it into her head that there was nothing to be afraid of. It wasn’t an angry type of frustration – just a sense that there was no other way.

It was like knowing the answer to a riddle and so badly wanting to spill the beans to the unenlightened.

They stood before Svahe’s door all of a sudden, the five of them. No one seemed to want to ring the call button, but no one was willing to retreat either. Kim looked to Jason, but he had already sent the same inquiry to Bard.

Do we just go in? Devon wondered.

Allison surprised them all. “I’m ready now,” she said in a soft voice.

They all turned to look at her, surprised to see the determination in her haunted gaze.

“I’m ready,” she repeated when no one moved. “Open the door.”

Devon felt an overwhelming surge of emotion fill her chest, and she clenched her fist in a state of exuberating pride and fear.

I’m so proud of you, Ally – you’ve gone through so much, yet you’re ready to forge onward.

Bard set his mouth in a line that normally would have been a grin. He nodded, then turned and produced his key card. After pushing the call button – announcing entrance – he slid the card into the slot, and the door clicked open.

Kim and Jason parted, and Bard gestured for Devon and Allison to go in first. “After you,” he said grimly.