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Fiction » Humor » An Adventurer's Life is Best font: B s : A A A . width: full 3/4 1/2
Author: Avonlea Sawyer
Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Published: 12-22-05 - Updated: 12-22-05 - id:2074756

First and foremost, I would like to say that I do not own the Adventurer’s Club idea or any of the characters in the Adventurer’s Club. They are the property of Disney, and I do not lay claim to any of these characters, with the exception of Evelyn Quinn, Tobias Ripley, D. Vine Aquarius-Browne, and Phoenix McCarthy. In association with the previous statement, Disney is not responsible for this story or any following. These are the works of my creative mind.

That said… On to the story.

Late Arrival

Sugar Snap stood upstairs in the salon, her feather duster wilting at her side. Her club was a disaster, there were cups and bottles everywhere from the open house. It looked as if a pack of wolves had decided to get heavily intoxicated downstairs. Graves was shooing the final few people out of the club, and Pamelia had told her to tidy up.

Downstairs, Hathaway sat at the bar, martini before him. His brown leather aviator jacket lay discarded on the stool beside him. Sugar knew he was tired, and upset. He flew all the way in from Sri Lanka for the Balderdash cup, and it went to a Junior Adventurer, Emil Bleehall. Emil had shown up at the last second, and wooed the honorary members with his trained pigeons. Hathaway’s quests of Atlantis and hot lava couldn’t win them back. Not even his charming good looks could win them over. Although, quite a few of the young women cheered for him.

In the treasure room, Fletcher Hodges was talking to the spirit of the armoire, Bezel. Bezel was a floating head in a box, and Sugar adored him, she really did. He did nothing all day but sit in his little box, and daydream. Fletcher was trying to get him to calm down. He had telekinetic powers, and whenever he got upset, the walls began to shake.

Out back, Sugar heard a plane set down. Hathaway was still at the bar, so it couldn’t be him, besides, it landed, and it didn’t crash. Hathaway glanced up as the back door opened and Evie Quinn and Tobias Ripley strolled in. “Did we miss it, Browne?” Tobias asked, glancing toward the bar. Hathaway nodded. “Damn. We tried our damndest to get here. You’ll never believe what happened to us.”

Evie was two steps behind Tobias with her eyes trained on Hathaway. “You look down, Hathaway. What has happened?”

“I lost the Cup,” Hathaway replied, taking a sip of his drink. “Some junior Adventurer from Sandusky stole it from me.”

“Old chap, I’m sure he didn’t steal it. What story did he tell?”

“He trained pigeons,” Hathaway said bitterly. Evie started to giggle. “It’s not funny, Evelyn. I lost it to a kid.”

“It’s a little funny, Browne,” Tobias said calmly, throwing his arm around Evie. The both of them chuckled a moment.

Graves stepped up beside Sugar, and called down, “Greetings Miss Quinn, Mr. Ripley. How were your trips? We were expecting you back before the open house.”

Evie smiled up at Graves, “Kungaloosh, Graves. We would have been here, but we, er, ran into each other in Egypt, and it delayed our arrival.”

The door to the library opened and Pamelia Perkins, Club President, stepped out. “Oh!” she squealed. “Kungaloosh, Evie, Tobias. We were beginning to fret.”

“Speak for yourself,” Otis Wren, Club Treasurer, said, following her out of the library.

“I was, Wren,” Pamelia snapped, taking her hat off of her red hair.

“Whose “we” then, Pamelia? You and the mouse in your pocket?” Otis asked, angrily.

“I was worried,” Sugar called from upstairs. Evie flashed her a smile. “What happened to you, Miss Quinn, Mr. Ripley?”

Tobias moved to the bar, leaving Evie to take of her jacket. “Can I get a scotch on the rocks, George? Thanks.” Evie unbuttoned her crocodile skin jacket and pulled off her black leather gloves. Under the jacket was a soft cotton button down shirt and black pants tucked into crocodile boots. Tobias sat two stools from Hathaway, and said, “Well, first I started out studying a paranormal disturbance just two miles south of Qena, but the river was slowly carrying me upstream. I ended up in Cairo, which is where I ran into our lovely boat captain.”

“Good thing too,” Evie cut in, “Because his boat had sprung a leak.”

“Sprung a leak?” Hathaway asked.

“Well, sprung a leak, sank to the bottom of the Nile, whichever your prefer,” Tobias replied. “As it happened, I actually ran into Evie as she was being chased through Cairo by some shady gentlemen, trying to capture her artifact.” Evie sat down at the bar, as George poured her a whiskey sour. “Well, I was forced to rescue our beloved Evelyn, just as the shady gentlemen had her cornered in an alleyway behind the Hotel de Flea.”

“It was smashing, the way he did it… He swooped down on a rope and carried me away.”

“The rope snapped, naturally,” Tobias continued.

“Yes, then I had to save him from the shady gentlemen, because he knocked himself unconscious.”

Hathaway swiveled in his seat to watch Evie and Tobias, sitting beside each other. Tobias handed her a napkin, and grinned at her. “After that, we were spirited away by her capable Egyptian friends, and hidden in a basement until I awoke. Then, we set off under the fall of night for the river, where her ship awaited.”

Pamelia sat down on the sofa in the center of the room, enthralled in the story. Otis rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall. “Well, this all would have been fine and dandy, if the Golden Wasp was still afloat. But, alas, the shady gentlemen had reached her before we had, and she had joined Tobias’ boat at the bottom of the Nile.”

“We had no way to get to the landing strip outside the city, to acquire her plane,” Tobias inserted.

“If it was still there,” Evie said calmly, taking a sip. Tobias nodded. “So, we went back into the city, and with only another five hours of night to cover us, we began the hike to the air field.”

“This could be the end of the story, couldn’t it?” Tobias asked. “But it was not. Only an hour into the hike, dear Evie saw a truck waiting along the side of the road, with a young man asleep in the bed. She woke him, and offered to pay him for passage to the airfield. He accepted, for when Evie asks you oblige.”

Evie smiled and toasted Tobias with her glass. Then, she took another sip, and leaned her back against the bar. “As I was saying. We were set off for the airfield, when a plane flew lower over the traveling truck. At first, we thought nothing of it, until it turned back and did it again. Evie asked the boy if he knew the pilot, and the boy said yes, it was the father of a girl he knew.”

Tobias paused to take a sip. Evie continued, “So, naturally, we knew automatically that we were in the wrong place at the wrong time. The plane did a third fly over, and Tobias suggested we should perhaps leave the boy. We were only an hour hike from the airfield. We could easily make it before dawn.”

“So, I pushed the door open, and Evie and I tumbled out of the speeding truck,” Tobias replied.

“Tobias broke my fall, and covered me with his body as we rolled along the loose gravel,” Evie said calmly. “Then he fell unconscious again.”

“I woke shortly after dawn, which left us exposed on the side of the road, an hour from the airfield. I was sore, but we pressed on. We had to make it out of Egypt, immediately, before the shady gentlemen found that we had escaped Cairo. We had only fifteen minutes left on the trek when Evie noticed smoke rising from the general direction of the airfield. We broke into a run, terrified that we would find the plane in flames.”

“My beautiful Valkyrie Sword could have been burning even as we ran, I ached,” Evie said softly. “When we reached the airfield, there she was, sitting in the midst of the landing strip, beautiful as ever.”

“On the other side of the landing strip, however,” Tobias continued, “Was the low flying plane of the farmer, and the truck of the boy. In flames. The boy lay to the side, gasping for air, and very much alive, the man was nowhere to be seen. Evie went to check the boy, who was fine, just frightened. Just as she was helping him to his feet, a truck came flying into the field, guns blazing. The shady gentlemen had found us.”

“I rushed to the Valkyrie, and started the engines. Tobias grabbed our bags, and tossed them in. We took off in a flurry of gunshots and smoke. Bullets riddled the wings, but we made it off the ground. We took off, soaring through the sky, praying that we could make it to London for repairs and showers.”

“We did, naturally, but alas, we couldn’t make it in time for the open house,” Tobias said smartly, ending the story.

Pamelia’s mouth hung open, and her eyes were wide behind her glasses. “That’s astonishing, you two. You could’ve won the Balderdash Cup if you had been here.”

“That’s nothing, compared to my story of the boiling hot lava, and the sick children of Carioca,” Hathaway inserted angrily.

Otis rolled his eyes again, and Pamelia frowned. Graves was the first one who spoke, “This is true, sir, but Miss Quinn and Mr. Ripley’s story is not fabricated.” Hathaway glared at him. “Sorry sir.” Evie giggled again.

“Well, I’m bloody exhausted, children,” Tobias said, standing up. “I’m off to bed. Oh, where’s Sammy? I haven’t seen her at all.”

“She’s gone to bed. She’s leaving at dawn for the Sahara,” Pamelia replied. “You know Samantha. She can’t be away from the adventure for too long, she gets cabin fever.” Tobias nodded. “Good night, Tobias.”

“Good evening, Pamelia. I shall see you in the morning.”

He vanished through the door next to the library, which led to stairs down to their private quarters. Evie finished her drink, and rose off the stool. “I believe I shall retire as well,” she said softly, grabbing her jacket and gloves. “It’s been a long few days, and it shall be nice to sleep in my own bed.” She flipped George a silver dollar and smiled at him. “Good evening, all.”

As she was passing, she slipped Hathaway a glance, and continued into the door beside the library. Behind the door was a small room with coat racks and benches. She pulled off her boots and left them by the door, hung her coat and gloves, and started down the stairs. Tobias’ quarters were on the first level down, as well as Otis’s and Pamelia’s. The second level down had Hathaway’s, Samantha’s and hers. The third level down had two guest rooms and the servant’s quarters. There were also two other quarters across the salon, down by the entrance to the bar. They were added as afterthoughts, and ended up getting used by newer members of the Club.

Evie strolled through the door to her quarters and happily looked around. Her life as an archeologist had caused her to acquire some interesting artifacts, and many of them were catalogued in the Club itself. But adorning her walls were photos of her exploits, as well as photos of her friends along the way. There were a few artifacts that she had kept for herself, and they too had special places along the walls.

She pulled her bag off her shoulder, and dropped it on her queen-sized bed. Peeling the shirt off her back, she sighed. It was nice to be home, even if it wasn’t truly home. She very rarely got to go home, what with her club duties and her adventures. She had four younger brothers she kept in contact with, and sent pictures of her adventures, but she hadn’t seen them in so long. She unbuttoned her pants and slid them off, pulling socks with them.

She liked when she was on adventures because she didn’t have to worry about propriety. Samantha walked around in her explorer clothing all the time, in fact, it seemed to be the only thing she owned. But Evie wasn’t like that. She owned dresses and skirts, and wore them whenever she was home. She even suspected that Samantha slept in the nude, while she, Evie, needed a nightgown.

As she pulled the nightgown over her head, she heard a soft knock on the door. She wrapped her robe around her, and answered it. Outside stood Hathaway. “Kungaloosh, Hathaway,” Evie said softly, sweetly. “Come on in.”

“Kungaloosh, Evie,” Hathaway said, stepping in. Evie closed the door behind him. “Would it be forward of me to say that I had been worried when you didn’t show up?” he asked.

Evie shrugged. “You were worried about a fellow member, that’s not unusual. If Samantha had been scheduled to be here two days prior, and she still wasn’t, you would have been concerned.”

“You know what I mean, Evie,” Hathaway said.

“I know, Hathaway. But whatever it is that goes on between us when we’re both here is nothing important. We both know that nothing will come of it. Neither of us is particularly interested in a relationship. Well, in your case, monogamy.”

Hathaway nodded, and took a step closer to her. “You’re beautiful, Evie,” he whispered.

“Thank you, Hathaway. That’s very kind of you,” she replied softly.

“You never believe me when I say it,” Hathaway said.

“You create sentences for women to fall head over heels for you. I choose not to fall for your charm. I believe that you think I’m beautiful, Hathaway. I just know that you believe every woman is beautiful as well.”

“When I’m with you, I can’t think of other women.”

“That’s sweet of you to say.”

“You’ll never fall for my charms, will you, Evie?” Hathaway asked softly, pulling her into his arms. She shook her head. “Yet, you let me fall into your bed?” She nodded. “Why is that, Evelyn?”

“As long as you come to me, it’s you succumbing to my charms, Browne,” Evie whispered against his lips. He growled softly, pressing his lips to hers. She kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck. Hathaway picked her up and carried her across the room to the bed. He gingerly picked up her bag and placed in on the floor before laying her on the bed.

“With you, I’m never sure whose seducing whom,” Hathaway whispered as he laid down beside her. She smiled innocently. “I think that’s the way you like it,” he continued. She nodded. “Hmmm, you, Evie, are an enigma.”

“And you, Hathaway, are a man of many guises,” she whispered in return. He nodded, and bent his head to kiss her again.



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