I’m Going Home Again

I’m going home

I’m always on the outside

I get a fake smile

How you doing

That’s all

Where’s the love I get in return for my own love

Why are the other parts of the family more important?

Why am I forgotten so easily

When all I wanted to do was spend time with them,

I wanted to be told, ‘I love you and I missed you so much. Do you want to do something later?’

Not, ‘I love you and I missed you. Okay everyone else, let’s go.’

What about me?

Where did my own feelings come into play?

I waited so long to see them

And that’s all I get in return

Don’t they see the tears?

I hate them

I loath them

Don’t they know how I feel

And yet I can also say I love them

But that’s family for you

I still love them

After all they did to me

Is this all fair?

I don’t think so

Because I’m still shaking with anger

And I’m still upset

And they still don’t see what they’re doing

And they don’t care about my opinions

So I can only long for the day I have an angry breakdown

And then they’ll be forced to listen

Or until they think I’m worthy enough for them

I don’t know when

But right now I’m going home again

And I don’t know what’s going to happen.