“Firstly, class, I would like you to take this survey. It’s nothing to worry about; I just want to evaluate how seriously you’re taking your futures and whatnot.”

I frown at my snobby college professor, but quickly recover; he’s only my first class.

Taking the survey from the professor, I glance over its questions.

“Now, this is purely your own opinion. There’s no right or wrong answer. And, be honest.”

I turn my attention to number one, ready to circle the answer the professor would want to hear most.

“Psst.”

I look over to the student sitting next to me. Bleached hair with purple tips, lightly spiked everywhere. Piercing green eyes.

Curiously glancing down at his paper, I spot his name – Ryji.

“What’s the answer to number one?”

--

Sighing happily, I step outside of the dorm building of my college, and into the cold autumn air.

“Shoko!”

“Hey, Ryji,” I say, smiling, as my boyfriend’s arms wrap around my waist from behind. I place a hand on a cheek of the face right at my shoulder. “How’re you?”

“Mmm, good,” Ryji presses his lips against my neck. “You?”

“Mmkay,” I say lightly, leaning back into Ryji’s embrace. “Better since you arrived.”

“That’s good,” Ryji pulls back before turning me around swiftly. “You treating the kids good?”

I smile before pecking Ryji on the lips. “As always.”

I turn around and start making my way to my first class, knowing Ryji would follow. Just as suspected, Ryji’s right beside me, and his hand is soon entwined with mine. I turn to Ryji and smile.

--

As I walk up the stairs to my dorm, I spot Ryji standing in front of my door, which, obviously, is very near the stairs.

“Hello,” I say as I reach him, taking his hands in mine. “What brings you here?”

“Just waiting for you,” he says, smiling. “Let’s go do something.”

“Well, what do you want to do?” I ask, moving my hands to his waist, and slowly sliding them up his back.

“You,” Ryji says casually, wrapping his arms around my neck.

“Tempting,” I reply lightly. “How about we go get a Starbucks instead?”

--

Ryji and I lie together in my bed, the dark cloak of night resting comfortably around us. I look up at Ryji’s sleeping face, our naked chests pressed together.

I can see the moon through the open blinds on my window. It’s a crescent moon, smiling down at me. I smile back, before looking back down at Ryji.

Pressing my lips lightly to his, I whisper, “I love you.”

Ryji kisses back, surprising me.

“I love you, too.”

--

“Oh!”

I sit up straight in the chair I’m in. My empty dorm room meets my eyes as they’re torn away from the book I was reading.

I’ve just remembered I left my notebook in my psychology class.

Standing, I set my book down on the chair I was previously sitting on. I grab my keys and use them to lock my dorm door after leaving. Then putting said keys in my pocket, I head downstairs and across the campus to the psychology room.

It takes a while to reach the class. I’m about to open the door once there but I hear a shriek.

“Stop it!”

I freeze, with my hand on the doorknob.

“Shut up.”

“No, stop it!”

A scuffling sound follows shortly. Then the sharp sound of a slap. Finally, a choked sob.

I can’t help it. I follow the sounds, going around the close corner of the building. “What’s going on over here?”

The words come out of my mouth just before it registers in my mind.

Ryji.

Ryji…Hovering over a helpless looking boy…Ryji, about to smack him…

“Ryji!”

Now he pays mind to me. Looking away from the other man, his eyes meet mine. “Shoko.”

“Ryji, what’re you doing?!” I run over to him and put my hand on his arm. “What are you doing…?”

His eyes are cold. They’re so cold.

“This doesn’t concern you.”

“Like fucking hell it doesn’t!” I shove him with the hand that’s on his arm; he doesn’t go very far. “What’s going on?!”

Ryji suddenly grins at me. An eerie, disgusting grin. “I apologize Shoko,” he says, with the air of one commenting on the weather. “But it seems that you’re just of no real interest anymore.”

His frustrating, evil smile. Muffled sobs coming from the nameless boy, his dark gray hair hanging over his eyes. My uneven breathing.

It’s all mingling together.

Everything’s blending together.

Ryji’s grin widens, and pats me on the shoulder, before walking away.

The boy slides down the wall, and crumples up on the floor.

I’ve forgotten about my notebook.

--

“What?”

My voice is gruff and my eyes are red; both caused by the abundance of crying that occurred on my part last night.

I’m looking down at that boy from the day before. The one Ryji was…

He’s looking right back up at me.

“What?” I repeat.

He looks startled. “I—I just wanted to…um, to tell you…I’m grateful for you, uh…Interrupting him…Last night…”

Was it last night?

It feels like a year ago.

Like it’s now a year later, and…

That year was filled with the most horrible pain I’ve ever felt in my life.

The boy’s still looking at me. Like he expects a response.

“Fuck off.”

How’s that for a response?

I turn from him, and make my way to my dorm to skip lunch.

“No, wait!”

I don’t stop.

“Please wait!”

I don’t turn around.

His hand latches onto my wrist, and I roughly pull away.

“Shoko!”

Now I stop. Now I turn around.

I don’t turn to the voice of the boy; of course not. I turn to see him standing there. Looking at me.

Grinning.

“How’s your day been?”

I want to ignore Ryji. I want to turn around, and walk up those stairs I’m so close to. I want to act as though it’s not affecting me. Just like I have with all other pain I’ve ever been faced with in my life before. Just walk away…And move on.

But I can’t.

Before I even know it, I’m flying at him, and my fist slams into his jaw. He hadn’t seen it coming; he takes a few steps back, his grin gone.

Now I grin.

“Shoko, darling,” Ryji says calmly. “What’s wrong?”

But I’m not done.

I shove Ryji into the nearest wall, which is pretty near. I hear his head smack into the wall. I backhand him with my closed fist before kneeing him harshly in the balls.

A sadistic smile spreads across my face as Ryji’s contorts in pain. I lick the blood off of his cheek where a ring on my hand had torn the skin.

I step back from him. I walk away.

--

I’m sitting in Starbucks with ‘that kid from last night’. He followed me here. I don’t know why. I would ask him, but I don’t really care.

Lunch at the college is long over. I don’t really care about that, either.

I’m staring down at my hands.

“My name is Kairu.”

I look up at ‘that kid from last night’. I realize I’m supposed to give him my name now.

But I don’t really care.

I look back down at my hands. “What do you want?”

“I want you to stop hurting.”

His answer surprises me, just a little. I look back up at him. His eyes are closed, and his head is tilted slightly towards the ceiling.

--

A year later, I’m out of college and living in my own apartment.

With Kairu.

I still became a psychologist, which is kind of surprising, because I seem to be the one in need of one now. I’m still not over Ryji, and still have a shitty, mean attitude most of the time.

But it’s okay. I’ve got Kairu, and he doesn’t mind so much.

Kairu’s still in college; while I’m twenty five, he’s nineteen. It’s Wednesday today, and I don’t have work today. Kairu, however, does have class.

But speak of the devil, he’s just gotten home.

As soon as he walks through the door, my arms are wrapped around his waist, and my lips are on his neck.

He chuckles lightly. “Well, hello. I missed you, too.”

I pull back, and grin, before leaning back down and pressing my lips against his. His arms go around my neck, and he kicks the door closed as I pull him over to the couch, our lips never separating.

--

It seems that the creators of mine and Kairu’s schedules are plotting this.

Almost everyday, either I have work and Kairu doesn’t have classes, or I don’t have work, and Kairu does have classes. There’s no end. We rarely get a day to ourselves.

Today is a day where I have work and Kairu’s off of classes.

“I’ll see you later, baby,” I say lightly, kissing Kairu on the cheek before leaving our apartment.

Work is just as wonderful as ever, and no I’m not being sarcastic. Though I still have an angry exterior, I truly love working with these people. I’ve not lost my ability to help people rationalize and see the light.

Today’s patients consisted of a pregnant woman who’s in an abusive relationship, and trying to fight her addiction to heroin; a suicidal man who’s overcoming the loss of his wife to another woman; a teacher with multiple personalities who’s in love with one of his students; and finally, a teenaged girl who just found out that she’s adopted.

Sounds fun, no?

When the work day comes to a conclusion, I step out of the building and into the pouring rain. I smile; I love rain. I tilt my head up to the sky, but not so much so to where the rain can get into my eyes. The storm cloud, the gloom, the falling sky…

Ah, bliss.

I make my way to my car, and enter it, almost sad to leave the rain.

Eek. Driving in the rain equals not as fun as standing in it.

But after safely making my way home, I unlock the door and open it.

Surprisingly, I open the door to an empty home.

I close the door and grab the phone before plopping down on the couch. I dial Kairu’s cell phone number, and hold the phone up to my ear, waiting for him to pick up.

I count the rings.

One…

Two…

Three…

Four…

Five…

Six…

I’m getting pretty pissed off at seven.

I almost hang up at eight.

Just as nine starts, he finally picks up.

“Where the fuck are you?!” I can’t help but be angry.

“Shoko…”

His voice is so broken. I cool down immediately.

“What’s wrong?”

“I…Raped…”

“WHAT?!” I stand up grab my keys, rushing back out of the front door with the (obviously cordless) phone. “Where are you?!”

“Behind…The bookstore…By college…”

Oh God…Kairu…

“I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

I throw the phone down on the passenger seat after I get into my car and drive way over the speed limit to get to Kairu.

The drive there seems to take much longer than it should. Though I know I shouldn’t be going this fast down rain-slicked roads, I can’t help it. I have to get to Kairu.

I park right out front of the bookstore, by the side. I run in between the stores and to the back.

“Kairu,” I whisper as I finally find his bloody form lying on the ground in the dark space between the back of the store and a stone wall. I kneel down next to him and put my hand on his head, lightly stroking his hair.

I would ask him if he’s okay, but I already know the answer to that.

--

I awake to Kairu’s screaming. Bolting upright, I look at him, who’s also sitting up, with his knees drawn to his chest, and sobbing into them.

I gently place a hand on his back, which startles him, and he looks up at me with wide, blue eyes.

“Why?” his voice is cracked, and it’s the first word he’s spoken to me since he said goodbye to me when I left for work the previous day. “What did I ever do…to him…?”

“To who?” I asked lightly as I pulled him into my arms.

“Him,” he says, and I automatically know who he’s talking about as his arms wrap around my neck, and he sobs into my chest.

Kissing him softly on the head, I lie us back down on the bed.

I will get revenge on Ryji, I promise myself, and silently promise Kairu.

--

It’s been a few months since ‘the incident’. I’ve been trying to track down Ryji as best I can between work and taking care of Kairu.

But of course, just to piss me off, he finds me.

“Why, what a surprise!” Ryji gushes as I’m walking to my car after work. I had to park it down the street, because the parking lot at the place is so fucking small.

So, while making my way down this innocent sidewalk, I of course run into Ryji.

Of course.

His wicked smile brings back memories, and chills up my spine.

He edges closer to me. I don’t back away. I won’t back away.

“You’re the only thing keeping me from Kairu,” Ryji says sweetly, ghosting a hand over my cheek.

It’s not very intimidating now, because over the time we’ve been apart, I’ve grown a few inches, and he hasn’t. So I glare down at him.

“Is that so?” I ask nonchalantly. “That’s a shame.”

“Fuck you!” Ryji suddenly yells, and I feel an abrupt and sickening sting in my chest, followed by spreading warmth.

“Au revoir,” Ryji whispers as the pain and blood expands, and my vision darkens into nothing.

--

I watch myself dying through a ghostly view, tainted with anger. I’m angry at myself, for dying in the hands of someone like Ryji. I’m angry at Ryji for causing Kairu and myself so much pain. I’m angry at both Ryji for affecting me so much, and myself for letting him affect me.

And I’m also sad. Sad, that my last words to Kairu weren’t anything special…Sad, that I can no longer protect him.

But these emotions and thoughts fade away as I float above the image of my lifeless body falling to the ground, until that goes away, too.