It turned out that we never made it to Saturday or Lynne’s church.

Scratch that.

We made it to Sunday, and we made it to Lynne’s church, but we never made it to Lynne on time. We weren’t there when she and another girl named Annette walked to the bus stop at six in the evening, when the school was almost closed, we weren’t there when they moved off the sidewalk, and we weren’t there when the two of them were killed by the same knife and dumped at different areas.

Our school is in a residential area, but Lynne and Annette had been walking through the quieter portion of it-the back walls of houses, a one-way street. That’s how no one saw them or their murderer.

Murderer.

How can I think this all so calmly? I wondered, sitting in a pew at the service, watching people cry around me. Lynne’s mother sat rigid in the front row, watching her husband talk about her dead daughter and the girl that used to come over for lunch sometimes. I realised with a jolt that Lynne never referred to her mother as an adoptive mother. Mrs Li’s hands were clenched in her lap-she wasn’t crying, but I saw that she’d done enough of it during the last three days. The police were still working on the murder-I suspected who had done it already, and I had told the police just as much. But how were we going to get through this? Alex and Whitney were silently sobbing next to me; the rows behind me had all been taken up by my schoolmates, Christian or not. We were all still in various stages of shock. I half expected Lynne and Annette to walk in through the door, but their bodies were in the police morgue.

I balled my fists and bit my lip, holding back the tears. I hadn’t even seen Lynne since the end of school on Friday. She had stayed back for Dance practice, and as an Executive Committee member for Dance, she’d stayed later to fix up some details, leaving late with Annette. It still sounds something out from a clichéd murder story. Girl stays back in school. Girl walks home with Friend. Both get attacked and both die.

But if what I had suspected was true, then I felt all the more sorry for Annette’s parents. Their daughter had died because she was a witness, nothing more.

I say it was Lynne’s uncle.

From what I’ve managed to gather, that uncle was her father’s brother. And Lynne does look a lot like her mother. Her uncle and her father must have been close, I speculated. It sounds like something out of a typical Chinese movie, I know. That one kills this one and the other one wants to take revenge but that one already died, so the other one kills that one’s kid in a whole dramatic scene.

Except that that one’s kid is my best friend, who never hurt anyone. She’s innocent, I wanted to scream. I wanted to hunt that God-forsaken murderer down and kill him, I wanted to jump up and throw things, I wanted to collapse in a crying fit.

Not Lynne.

Lynne wasn’t perfect- she was a perfectionist, she was so perfectly blur about who liked her and why I refused to let Zachary Teng talk to her (he wouldn’t be talking to HER, actually, but a certain body area-pervert), she was a bit of an airhead, but she was the best person I knew. There is no God, I suddenly thought vindictively. If there was one, He should’ve been with Lynne and Annette when they were slaughtered, He should’ve stopped it, should’ve spirited them away. This is all a lie, the cross, this church, these people who come here every week, believing in something that isn’t there. There is no such thing. How could He let something like this happen to someone who loved Him so much? Annette I knew was Christian too. That makes two, you non-existent God. Two believers gone. Lynne and Annette would’ve done great things. Annette was one of the brightest in the level. And she’s gone. For nothing. Lynne was so sweet and so many people loved her, she was going to be the greatest advocate for child rights ever. And she’s gone.

She deserved better than to die at the hands of a murderer.

I held my head up high, trying to blink away the tears. Elaine was crying as well-she was sitting behind Lynne’s mother.

“We do not have Lynne’s body with us, but we would like it if anyone, anyone at all, would stand up and say something about Lynne, because I believe she is watching now, from above, with our Lord.” Pastor Li finished, his voice shaking slightly.

I stood before I could think.

Looking around, I saw that many others had also stood, some with shock on their faces, others looking grim. I walked to the pulpit silently, the gigantic cross behind me. Everybody else moved to form a line to the dais.

“Lynne was my best friend.” The words slipped out unchecked. “I can say a lot of things, but saying them won’t bring her back. That’s all I want-for her to come back. I’d throw myself off a building if it meant that she’d be there in person to catch me. And I believe that’s what she’ll do for anyone. She was always there, to listen if you needed her, to give sound advice when you wanted it, to laugh with on happy occasions, to comfort you when you have a terrible day. And without her, the world has just lost one of its best citizens, one of her most upright ones. Lynne. I’ve always said you were beautiful, and now that you’re-you’re not here-“ my voice cracked,”-I can say it once again, without you protesting. You are beautiful, Lynne, not just on the outside, but on the inside as well.”

I had to stop here before I started blubbering. Alex was next, but I only caught parts of it. I sat down, head in hands, letting the memories of times spent with Lynne flash through my head. I will not forget them. I will never let her face fade from my mind. I will not.

School on Monday was going to be hard to bear.

Because there would be no more Lynne with her morning greeting to start the day. There would be no more Lynne to pass notes to in class. There would be no more Lynne, complaining about her disgusting seatmate. There would be no more complaining to Lynne. There would be no more jokes shared and gossip passed around to Lynne.

Because there would be no more Lynne.