So I’m writing this from beyond the grave… Sounds creepy eh? Well, maybe I am then, whatever fits best. Some may say that I died along time ago, others may say that I was dead to begin with, and still there are others who are oblivious to what is going on and don’t think anything of it at all. And you, you can just think whatever the hell you want to, whatever fits best. To tell you the truth, the best fitting things fall apart the fastest because they are worn excessively. And it is from this analogy that my story stems…

Right now, I am going to tell you that this isn’t going to be your average, run of the mill story and at some points; it might even be a little tricky to follow. But please bear with me, as I am trying to make as much sense as possible, which is seemingly harder than I could have ever imagined it being.

I was pretty sure that I would be fine with all of this, but now I’m pretty sure that fine doesn’t even come close to what I am feeling right now. What I feel is nothing, yet everything at the same time. I feel an ambush of emotions charging towards me; yet the force field which encloses me in my realm of thought will not give way to them. The impressions left by the pounding of these feelings all around me resemble dents in the body of a car. The car itself, cannot feel how its side door has been reformed by the neighbor’s mailbox, but the dent is not disregarded or forgotten about. It simply just takes away value from the car until it is replaced. The only difference is that the material, from which my force field has been constructed from, cannot be synthesized by mankind, so therefore cannot be replaced. The dents all compile and add up to the person that I am today.

But who is that person? I would love to answer for you that question, but quite frankly I’m not too sure these days. I lost track of who I really was when I first left home. I ran into a little, err, trouble, shall we say, and circumstances forced me to journey on to bigger and better places. Of course I had to change my name and lifestyle, but none of that really matters, that’s all just legal jargon. I’m pretty sure that I started out being something rather generic though, maybe a Robert or a John, something like that. I figured that such a common name couldn’t partner such a unique personality, so I decided that there had been a mistake somewhere along the naming process.

My first self-chosen name was Damien Stevens. Ah, I liked that one. I think that I might have really enjoyed having being called Damien Stevens for the rest of my life, but oh well, shit happens.

But with each name, comes about a new person. A fresh personality free to explore and fuck around with. I began to value this. I began to love not having a stable personality. It suited me a lot better I think, for it’s the only way to ever truly be everything or anyone that you ever wanted to be. You always hear people bitching about how they wish they were more like someone else, and how they wish that they could just start their lives over. While other people wish their lives away on this sort of shit, I have attained these desires. I take my favourite personalities and put them all together to make myself a new identity, depending upon the mood I am in. It’s kind of like the Sundae Bar at Pizza Hut. Throw in a little of these colourful sprinkles here and there, some chocolate chips for taste, whatever else, and voila! There you have it, a hand-crafted work of art.

Today, I am a real estate salesman named Ted. Now Ted just isn’t any regular real estate salesman. No, no. Ted is a very special man, who very interestingly enough is a lot like my…

I’m sorry, Ted isn’t here right now. He thought that he had finished his business and completed the task to the fullest extent. But he was wrong. It takes more than a stab wound in the right lung to keep me down. I have taken much more care and precision in the exacting of the crime than your friend Ted has. I am covered in the blood of a madman. My open wound soaks my shirt, but my hands are covered in a substance a little bit warmer. His insides were fresh and delicious. I devoured them in two lovely dishes.