Lisa Superhero Episode one: the Fetus Menace.

Lisa was saving the world… again. But this wouldn’t be an easy task. The evil fetuses of the unborn fetus-ness world of quasar 9 have taken over all the worlds media sources and forced them to only broadcast reruns of Fraiser in the hopes of driving all humanity insane. So far it was working. The streets were overrun with rioting people shouting “Enough with the banter!! We don’t care how intelligent you are just shut the fuck up.” And now there was only one last hope for humanity, the mighty, the powerful, the heterosexually inclined, the average intellectual, the karate master, the chick that is overall pretty cool except for the whole megalomania thing, LISA!!!!!

Lisa was quick in infiltrating their secret base on an island off the coast of Maine by disguising herself as a giant Salmon. Stupid Fetuses!!!! Who the hell fishes for Salmon in Maine! She was just round a corner when the evil Fetus leader arrived floating in its antigravity placenta and glowing ominously!!! “Lisa we meet again…”

“We’ve met?” Lisa asked incredulously.

“Yeah… don’t you remember?” the Fetus Leader tried reminding her.

“No I don’t recall…” Lisa muttered.

“At that party…” the Fetus leader continued.

“That party?” Lisa pondered, “Try being a little more specific.”

“Well you know!!! The one with Bob-”

“Oh…” Lisa said suddenly remembering, “You were still in your first trimester then.”

“Yes I’ve developed quite a bit since then,” the Fetus trailed off then shouted, “HA!!!! YOU SHALL NOT DEFEAT US!!!!”

“What makes you so damn sure?”

“Oh I dunno… Maybe it was the fact you didn’t notice when we wrapped you in cellophane!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Lisa looked down. Yup she was bound pretty tightly in cellophane from feet to neck. “Shit!!!!”

“MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“I see,” Lisa said quietly to herself, “Now would mind telling me what the capital of New Jersey is?”

“What?”

“Its just been bugging me for a while and I have money down at a Bar that no one knows the answer, but the intelligence of animated Fetuses is famed throughout the galaxy so do you know…”

“Let me think about it… Trenton?” the Fetus head guessed.

“Wrong!!!! Ha ha, there is no bar bet because everyone knows New Jersey doesn’t exist!!!!” Lisa exclaimed at the top of her lungs.

The Fetus head exploded in response to its errors. The subordinates of the Fetus heads exploded because the Fetus leader had interrupted a game of follow the leader to commence in banter with his enemy and hadn’t actually stopped the game. Thus they were all exploded.

“Shit I’m still tied up and Fraiser is still running if I can’t stop this now all the peoples of the worlds will be exploded just like these mother fuckers.” Lisa whispered to herself, “why the hell am I whispering I’m the only one left alive in this place.”

With that Lisa hopped as fast as she could towards the control room but slipped in a puddle of fetus goo and couldn’t quite get up.

“Damn now theres only one thing left to do,” Lisa thought and bravely began rolling over to the entrance of the control and she saw it the most glorious thing she had ever seen, The ultimate controller. The ultimate controller was steeped in a heavenly light and appeared to what most would consider a really, really, really, really, really big remote control.

“Its too late,” Lisa said staring through the cellophane at her watch, “Now just turning everything off won’t be enough, now I’ve got to take immediate reversal action!!!!!!”

With that Lisa through a feat of combined gymnastic and culinary skill managed to jump on the ultimate controller button and it was though there was a sigh of relief sighed through out the people of earth. Lisa hopped on the ground and happily observed monitors of people observing South Park on television.

“Thank god,” Lisa sighed as she rubbed her self up against a conveniently labeled ‘cellophane shredding wall’ until her cellophane bonds were nothing but toxic plastic dust collecting in her lungs, “now how to turn up the volume on these damn things…” Lisa decided pushing the seductively red button would be a good idea.

It wasn’t.

“SELF DESTRUCT ACTIVATED YOU HAVE THREE MINUTES TO LOOSE YOUR VIRGINITY!” Sounded over the intercom.

“But everyone else is dead!!! I’ll just have to get myself out of this mess, Alfonza !!!! Come to me.”

Answering to her call Lisa’s pet flying sumo wrestler crashed through the ceiling “Hai!!!”

“hi to you too,” Lisa said climbing on his back, “Sumo wrestler away!!!”

With that Alfonzo took off and flew out of the building safely getting away as the island exploded consequently destroying the only known habitat for transgender flu germs to bits. But no one really cared because everyone was enjoying the return of all their favorite un Fraiser like shows: the simpsons, Family guy, American dad, and South Park. Lisa flew back to her apartment stopping only once to get some carne asada quesadillas for dinner, then she ate and drank and was able to watch quality television.

The end?