Chapter 1: Randomness and Gray Clouds

I'm random.

Just to let you know that- I mean, before you actually decide to tread upon the completely twisted and harrowed pathways of my tortuous mind, I'm warning you: I'm weird and extremely prone to twisted conversations about nothing at all.

As you see- I am completely and utterly random and insane.

But that doesn't matter. That's cause random people make the world go round. If the whole world was filled with completely conventional and boring and dull people- it would be absolutely no fun to live here. You need random people (like me) to cheer people up.

But anyways, for the third time; I am random.

Just to reinforce that in your mind. I mean, we all have short-term memory here. I just have more...uh...severe short-term memory.

And yes, I suppose that includes not being able to remember my sister's actual age (it's nine, ten, or eleven. Take your pick.), forgetting your own age (it happens, okay?), forgetting your telephone number (it's okay though- I remember my friend's phone number. Then I just call her and then she can tell me my phone number), and, oh yes, I believe I even forgot my own name once. That's right, yes I am a completely psychotic and messed up person. Pathetic isn't it?

Oh and I almost forgot. Did I mention I was random?

It looks like you think I have some seriously mental problems. Guess what? You're right!

You don't get a million bucks though.

My sister flushed your prize down the toilet so go throw tomatoes at her.

So anyways- back to the point.

I swear- it completely WAS NOT MY FAULT.

It's not my fault I was born with such a twisted mind.

It's not my fault that I'm sometimes extremely weird and random.

It's not my fault I have an infatuation with yellow submarines.

It's not my fault I have severe amnesia.

And it's DEFINITELY NOT MY FAULT that I can't keep my mouth shut around random strangers and accidentally blab out that my-best-friend-Person A-is-currently-going-out-with-her-best-guy-friend-Person B-and-they-are-currently-making-out-in-A Hall-so-it's-best-that-you-don't-trespass-there-for-quite-a-while-or-else-they'll-get-angry-at-you-for-disturbing-their-little-game-of-tonsil-hockey.

Okay. Whoops. So maybe it is my fault.

But...THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

The point is...well...it's not my fault even though it really is my fault it's just not my fault that I can't keep my mouth shut and currently my best friend is pissed off at me because I can't keep a secret for my life and she'll never ever tell me a secret again or virtually kill me ever again and Person B will be all pissed off at me too for pissing off his girlfriend even if she is my best friend and I'll be all pissed off at myself because I can no longer talk in coherent, complete, short, and non-runon sentences.

So there. I got it all out.

It's not even the end of the first day yet and I've already gotten like...five virtual death threats!

I'm definitely on a roll.

I mean...I usually don't even get two death threats per week- especially ever since my best friend got a boyfriend and my other best friend started moping over a certain idiotic, platypus resembling, groveling guy, no one seems to feel the urge to stab me in the gut anymore. It's horrible what guys can do to your reputation. I mean- ever since those two got guys on their minds...they don't even need me to annoy them anymore!

I swear all males are utterly evil. They're out to destroy poor, innocent victims like me(who are trying to survive in this cold cruel world without the joy of annoying anyone to their extreme limits) by taking my best friends. Definitely not fair. It's not even a very fair match here. I mean, I'm just a small, pathetic, pitiful, little girl here trying to make it through the hardships of life and those guys are a whole rowdy bunch of bullying bastards armed with cologne, a white smile, and...hmm...oh yes...a penis.

And you sick minded person- I DID NOT SAY I WANTED A PENIS.

I'm perfectly fine with my uterus thank you very much for asking.

So anyways, I am here, as my first day being a freshman, with an extreme grudge against the opposite race, two zoned-out zombie boy freaks (one who is very pissed at me right now and the other who soon will be pissed off once she learns thatI called her obsession a duck), and a stupid violin in my hand because my mom just had to sign me up for the school orchestra.

And just in case you didn't figure it out- I'm very pissed off as well. Oh yes. I also currently have an obsession with the word, "piss". Weird, eh?

::sigh::

My suggestion to you is that you stop reading immediately before you lose any more brain cells.

What a wonderful, cheerful, morning, isn't it?

A clap of thunder interrupted my thoughts and a cloud of rain appeared in the sky.

But why the hell does it seem to be only raining over me?

I tell you, someone up there has something against me.

I shook my fist angrily at the sky and shouted, "Screw you!" Why was the sun shining so brightly in comparison to the gray cloud hanging over my head? Why me? Why me?

The only reply I got was a louder crash of thunder before a small bolt of lightning flashed from the little cloud. Aghhh shit.

There was lightning too?? What were they trying to do? Get me electrified here? The lightning flashed again as a warning.

AHHHHHH THEY WERE TRYING TO KILL ME HERE!

HAVE MERCY!

HAVE PITY!

HAVE COMPASSION!

…

Okay.

I'll stop.

I quickly dashed inside the building and left the small rain cloud outside (which disappeared with a small pop after I had entered the building- pooh- just to spite me!). Things just weren't fair in life. How come I was the one who had to be stuck in a little rain shower while everyone else here was busy basking in the late summer sun?

I glared menacingly at the ceiling, as if imagining that person up there who had a grudge against me, before quickly covering my head with my hands. I definitelydidn't want another rain shower again.

Two seconds pass.

Nothing.

Five seconds.

Nope.

Ten seconds.

Nada.

Safe!

I slowly come out from my cowering hands and sigh in relief. Thank god. Lady Luck was finally with me for…ten seconds.

CRASH.

I look up as a bolt of lightning flashes across my eyes. The stupid freaking cloud had formed again. And in the inside of the building too!

…::blinks in confusion::

So much for lady luck.

AGHHHHHH

;AWORIGJALSKDJG;LAKSJD;LGKAJ;LSFKJG

::attacks keyboard in fury::

WHY ME?