October 23, 2005

Cam and I have been best friends since we were little kids. It’s kind of funny, since we’re almost exact opposites. She’s absolutely gorgeous, everyone thinks so. She has long, shiny black hair, pale skin, and beautiful dark blue eyes, eyes I’d kill to have. Cam’s fine boned, slender, and proportioned just right, and she dresses to flatter her perfect shape with colors almost nobody has ever seen before. People call her a raver, both jokingly and maliciously, and either way she doesn’t seem to care. Nothing seems to bother her, and I‘ve never seen her get angry. If anyone tries to insult her, she either ignores them completely or laughs at them. No one has gotten the best of her yet. She’s great with kids and popular with boys and girls, I guess, if they swing that way. For the most part, though, a lot of girls are jealous of her beauty and poise. Girls like me.

Yes, I’ll admit it. I’m jealous. How could I not be? Compared to her, I’m nothing. I mean, come on, just look at me. I’m painfully plain. My hair is a weird looking sort of blonde and it falls ungracefully down to my shoulders. My eyes aren’t blue; they’re a murky hazel abomination hidden behind horn-rimmed glasses. I’m thin, yes, but I’ve got a boyish figure and my breasts are small. I dress in somewhat artsy-looking clothes to hide my obvious plainness. I’m clinically depressed and I seem to let everything get to me, even though I know it shouldn’t. I’m awkward and I don’t know how to act around kids. Boys don’t take a second glance at me, and if they do, it‘s to say “Oh, let‘s laugh at the emo kid“. I guess I’m lucky to have nobody envy me, but at the same time, it’d be kind of nice for someone to look up to me, you know?

I know I’m terrible for feeling like this, but even though I do, she still cares about me. Who else would threaten the boys who made fun of me? Nobody else but my best friend would buy me cookie dough ice cream when I run out of money, even though she’s a vegan and half-jokingly calls me a monster for supporting dairy farms. We go shopping together, even though we have different tastes, and she constantly tries to correct my self-deprecating attitude. Cam gives me a hug every single day we see each other, and she comes over to cheer me up if I’m feeling gloomy. She even comes over when I’m sick and sits next to me, unafraid of my germs. I care so much about her and I have no idea what I’d do if something happened, either to her or our relationship, I honestly don‘t know. I’d never let anything stand in the way of our friendship, anything. As cliché as it sounds, best friends have to stick together, right?

Right?