Sometimes life is like a moose

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(when you’re walking down a dark road at night

and your mom points way in the distance

and clutches your arm and asks

hey, is that a moose way down there?

and you say no, it isn’t, but that is

and there’s one right in front of you

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and you forget that moose are herbivores

and you run screaming back the way you came from

and you hitchhike your way home)

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(and all the while

the moose is just standing there wondering

why two-legged things make such funny noises)