i remember my father worst

asleep on a bed in the hospital

with tubes jutting out from

awkward places

shapes and angles that led to

machines that beeped and dripped

and sneered

he's going to diiiiiie

and feeling alone

so alone

and angry

so angry

he's going to diiiiiie

my father

my hero

diminished to nothing

lying on a bed in the hospital

drinking apple juice from plastic cartons

when it was time to go

i wanted to tell him all of this

and more--

how much i loved him

but if i tried to open my mouth

i'd cry

so i kissed him on the forehead and

left him with a bag of gummy bears