Partner in Crime

by: prolific bunny

-

I should probably write a story about my life. Then again, I wouldn’t want to bore the lot with my uneventful existence. Nothing really happens to me. Rather, a lot happens to the people around me. I’m but a spectator in all this. It’s quite amusing, really. Since my life is so dull, I try my best to be entertained with everything else.

An example of this is my best friend, the overly dramatic romantic who was and has been my neighbor for the past seventeen years of my boring existence. He’s the eldest of three kids, all of which were boys, and often gets a scolding from his mommy dearest. I don’t find it odd though. I think it’s an inborn thing for guys to get scolded by their mothers. I guess it’s also a maternal thing for mothers to berate their sons. If I could charge people with every time my best friend gets chided, I’d be a millionaire by now. Wow, so rich at seventeen. If only that was a possibility.

Anyway, my best friend and I go way back. As I said, we’ve been neighbors since we were infants. We became friends then our parents followed suit and so goes the story. I know more about him than he does his parents. Is that normal? I guess it is seeing that he knows as much about me as I do him. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest actually. I don’t really mind. We’ve been teased to each other so many times that it felt like a part of my daily routine. We didn’t take any heed to any of it. At least, I know I did. Knowing him, he probably did too.

---

The living room was hot for some reason. I was fanning my face and even sighed in annoyance as sweat trickled down the side of my cheek. If life were a cartoon, everything would be colored red to portray the torridity of it all.

I wasn’t kidding when I said it was hot. Not at all. It’s actually pretty cool in here. Very cool. Almost icy. Please do note the sarcasm. It would really make my day.

I was currently slumped down in our beat up green sofa with completely nothing to do. Saturdays are such a bore. Did I forget to mention that my best friend was currently sitting beside me? Well, he is.

He’s been weird lately. Aloof almost all the time. That in itself is a big thing for him. Ryan was never one who would sit still for more than a minute. These past few days though he’s been like this. How odd.

Just as I was about to stand up to get something for my dried up throat, Ryan stopped me. I looked at him oddly and I swear the question he asked me next was something I didn’t expect him to ever utter. He wondered if I was gaining some weight.

Come on! That’s like in the top five you don’t ask a girl. Well, I told him no, I wasn’t gaining weight but he insisted. I still denied it but still he persisted. So, I decided to just shut up. When I did, he started rambling. He spoke about this girl that he liked. I knew her too. Seen her on occasions and even tried to befriend her. She wasn’t very amiable though. My attempt to talk to her gained me some best friend points so that was ok. No harm done. It’s her loss anyway.

Well, was I in for a surprise next. Just as I was thinking about how much I didn’t like Kyra, my best bud’s crush, he suddenly blurts out that they were dating. I was like, ‘Woah!’ I was that shocked. Then again, Ryan’s a charmer and Kyra was, well, Kyra. ‘Nough said.

After the initial shock of it, I regained my composure and started teasing him about the two of them. He was even being shy about it and told me often times to shut up and reasoned that they were only dating and not together. I just laughed off his annoyance. It was my entertainment.

After that, he started rambling again until the topic ended up with the issue about us. What issue you ask? It’s about the one where all the people we know tease us to each other. He asked me if the situation did arise, would I be okay with it? I was confused at first about what he said but when I finally understood it, my only answer was a passive shrug. When I asked him the same question, he replied the same way. Yup, great minds think alike.

---

Eight months. They’ve been together for eight months. I wouldn’t have thought it possible but they lasted that long. They look overly sweet together. I wasn’t one to complain. Ryan is after all my best friend. Sometimes, my other chums and me even tease them. Ryan would just laugh it off but Kyra would get really annoyed and tell us to grow up. She has got to relax more. It wouldn’t hurt at all.

Which reminds me. Ryan confessed one time that his dear girlfriend didn’t like me much. I told him the feeling was mutual. He was so worried when I said that and even asked if they should break up. I was shocked at this to say the least. When I questioned him about where he inquired of such a thing, he replied that my opinion mattered because I was his best friend. A very touching idea but not necessary. That’s what I told him. He was still uneasy though so I said to him that it would just probably take time before me and Kyra would get along. I can’t help but scoff at this idea.

---

You know the times when friends sometimes ask their other friends to be their backup spouse? Well, I had that. Backup husband I mean. I made a deal with a friend that when we reached thirty and am still single we would get married. The guy’s name is Justin. Surprised that it wasn’t Ryan? You shouldn’t be. I have other friends too you know.

Anyway, Justin is this friend of mine that I have known since my sixth grade in school. We were never really close before but now that we were much older, I could honestly say that he’s one of those guys who would be dubbed ‘husband material.’ He on the other hand said that I was deemed ‘wife material.’ What a sweet guy, huh?

Anyway, we talked about the endless possibilities of being married. Agreed that we would have at least three kids. We would live somewhere not too close to our parents so that we won’t have the in-laws to breathe down our necks.

When we were conversing of such things, Ryan overheard us and was slightly angered by it. He was actually disappointed that he wasn’t my backup husband! What a surprise. Justin just added to his aggravation when he said that we’ve been talking about the ‘backup’ thing for days now and he didn’t know anything about it. I didn’t really perceive that Ryan would take it to heart. If I did, I wouldn’t have kept him in the dark.

So, I decided to tell him Justin and my plan on the whole thing. When I was done with that, my best friend commented that he should be one of the godfathers of my children. I wholeheartedly agreed. Soon after that, Justin split and Ryan and me were left alone.

He then began to rant about the possibilities of our marriage if it did happen in real life. He said that it was a big likelihood seeing as how much we know about each other. I think that same fact though is the reason why our being ‘together’ in the future is impossible. He just knows too much about me. It’s rather intimidating.

Anyway, he told me he wanted five kids because he wanted a basketball team of his own. I agreed saying that it would in fact be interesting to have that many children. He then said that he would be by far the sweetest guy if ever we did get together. We laughed at such heresy.

Justin came back soon after and informed us that he had just acquired a second backup wife. Since he had one, I prompted to ask Ryan to be my second backup husband. He cheerfully agreed and just to feel assured, I asked another close friend of mine, Chris, to be my third backup husband. He felt bad being the third and commented that I was always last in his list. This was said jokingly of course. We just laughed it off.

---

Ryan is officially single. After almost a year of being together with his beloved Kyra, she broke it off saying that it was getting too serious. Why get into a relationship then if she couldn’t handle the serious part of it? How odd.

So, being the best friend that I was, I comforted him. We watched movies that he wanted, ate the food that he liked but I despised, talked about sentimental topic, which I hated, and listened to R & B songs, which I was against. I was an alternative music fan. He was very grateful though. Even if I was very drained about the whole thing, I didn’t mind. I think it was worth it. Who would have known that such a feat, as comforting someone could be so tiring.

We talked about random things when we had nothing else to do. I would try my best to keep the topic away from anything romantic lest it remind him of his beloved but he always steered around the subject so it couldn’t be helped.

Again, the conversation headed to the possibilities of where our friendship could lead. We talked about having the same friends and him introducing me to the ones I didn’t know and me doing the same thing. Then, we agreed that our kids would join that Milo basketball workshop that he had the fortune of going to when he himself was a child. We also discussed about our Holidays. Christmas would be in his house while New Year’s was to be held at mine.

Afterwards, we were both silent. My life continued to bore me. He then asked me seriously what I personally thought about such possibilities. Surprisingly, I honestly said that I wouldn’t mind. He said the same thing. Great minds do think alike don’t they?

Author's note:

This was done for my class. Done in a hurry no less. Still, I liked it. I didn't bother editting though...