A/n : Atention! this is a SLASH fic, meaning M/M, meaning shonen ai, meaning boy love. If this sounds in any way disturbing, this is not the story for you.

Okay, so at first I was going to make this strictly oneshot, but I have reconsidered. I've decided if I get four positive reviews, I'll write a second chapter. Flamers will be pursecuted at the begining of said next chapter.

Shuichi

Ryo-sempai never noticed me, why would he? I was nothing special.

Why would he care about the skinny short kid with plain brown eyes and uninteresting brown/black hair, who sat behind him in art? I doubted he even realized anyone sat behind him at all. I was always pretty quiet, and never dropped my pencils or paints.

He did, though. He dropped them often. So often, in fact, that I started counting. On one Thursday, he dropped his brush twice, his pencil three times and his sharpener no less than seven.

This began my downfall.

You see, for the past two years of high school, I have gone unnoticed by Ryo-sempai, yes, but he, never seems to leave my notice for a moment. When I saw him at the entrance ceremony, my first day, with his shaggy bleach-blonde hair (so daring!) his tall, lean, athletic build (so powerful!), I was taken!

He was sitting with the members of last year’s student council ( a 1st year in student council!), and the president got up to speak to all of us. To this day, I cannot remember what he said. I was too entranced by Ryo-sempai.

But I was also terrified.

Being in love with not only an upperclassmen, but another man?! What would people say?!

My sister, Miki, had always called me terminally shy, and if anything, my condition worsened within the next two years. I made no friends, and I didn’t try to. I spent most of my first year over studying, and desperately avoiding Ryo-sempai. This turned out to be harder than it should have been, seeing as we were in different grades. Unfortunately, my near-obsessive study habits had resulted in many being placed in to nearly all advanced classes. Meaning 2nd year classes. Meaning moving from the first floor to the second. Meaning lots and lots of Ryo-sempai.

I could not escape him. If he didn’t have my class, his was on the same hall. We had lunch the same time. Break the Same time, and he always seemed to be right behind me in the line to the water fountain.

Luckily, he never seemed to notice my presence. He never even said a word to me.

I was relieved. I had Been so terrified that if given the chance, I would blurt out my affections for him. But I was also a little sad. Ryo-sempai, the love of my life, didn’t even know Existed.

Miki felt for me. I had told her about my feelings for Ryo-sempai almost as soon as I’d figured it out myself. Bright, talkative, and ultimately more knowledgeable in the romance department that I was, Miki seemed like the person to go to.

She had called my avoidance of Ryo-sempai one of the few truly hurtful things she had ever said to me: Pathetic.

Pathetic.

Well, maybe I was, but I didn’t care. She’d never been in my shoes.

“Nonsense” she’d say “we both like boys don’t we?”

Yes, but that’s okay for her, she’s supposed to like boys. It’s biologically and politically correct for her to.

It’s not for me

My second year wasn’t much better. Is started takeing art, and low and behold who was there, but Ryo-sempai.

And the only open seat?

Right behind him.

Very little of what was said during that first lesson Got trough to me. All I could see was the back of sempia’s Head, and all I could hear was the unevenness of my own breath.

I do remember the teacher assigning out projects: Portraits.

Of anyone we liked.

Hear the double meaning inthat one.

Guess whom I picked.

I couldn’t help it! He was sitting right there!

I spent the next week getting the best student counsel pictures of him off their website. It struck me as vaguely stalker-ish, but as long as I used them strictly for the portrait, and didn’t frame it for my wall as Miki suggested, it would be okay.

And then the dropping started/ At first, it was only his pencil, every once in a while, but it quickly escalated until he was dropping things nearly every five minutes. Then one day, he dropped his sharpener under my desk.

My body seemed to react on it’s own. I bent down, pi ked up the sharpener, and handed it back to him. He smiled gently at me, meeting my eyes for th first time ever, and then he looked down.

At my desk.

At my sketch pad on my desk

My sketch pad on which his face was clearly drawn.

Dear god.

I was blushing so hard, I felt like my face would catch fire any moment.

At first he just looked stunned, but soon his expression became amused. He laughed. No, he chuckled,. He chuckled at me. I wanted to die in that moment.

When he was finished laughing, he smirked at me, then turned back around to face the front.

The bell could not ring soon enough. When it did, I quickly gathered all my things and dashed from the room. I had never been so humiliated in all my life.

The next morning, I headed for the art room, first thing, before school started. I could tell sensei that I would not be able to continue my project, but that would do any and all extra credit work he wished, over winter break.

But as soon as I opened the door, my heart stopped.

Ryo-sempai was sitting in his usual seat, quietly sketching something on to a canvas.

He hadn’t seen me. I could still escape!

I was about to do just that when I heard his let out a frustrated sigh, and toss his pencil angrily to the ground. He folded his arms over his chest and glared at the canvas, muttering to himself.

“Not right” He muttered “not right’

He bent down to pick up his drawing pencil, and noticed me.

“shuichi-kun” he said brightly “perhaps you could help me”

Ryo-sempai knew my name?

And he wanted my help?

His eyes twinkled happily as I took a few steps closer.

“Me? Help?” my voice sounded much quieter than it did at home “why?

“Do you always talk in fragments?”

I blushed furiously, and Rio-sempai chuckled again.

“Come see,” he stood up briefly, to grab my arm, and lead me closer to the canvas, until I could see I clearly.

What I saw stunned me.

There, was a face I knew well, the same One I saw every morning in the mirror.

Ryo-sempai was drawing me.

“What do you think?: He tucked a lock of orange-blonde hair behind his ear, and folded his arms in front of his chest once more.

“It’s me”

Yes he seemed amused again.

“Why?

Probably for the same reason that you’re drawing me.” He gestured to the sketchpad under my arm.

“No” I said softly. “No. Probably not.”

“Oh” his face became stony, and unreadable “oh, all right. I understand.”

Understand what?

The place on my arm where he had touched me still tingled. I felt a little sick.

“I understand.” He repeated. “But if it’s all right…could you sit for me sometime? I‘m having trouble with the eyes. I mean…your eyes.”

“s-sure” I squeaked.

“And I…” he blushed slightly “I could sit for you sometime to…if you want”

“Oh, that’s okay, I’ve got a picture.”

D’oh! Why, oh, why did I say that?!

His expression sunk. “Yeah, that’s okay too”

Suddenly, I remembered what Miki had once said to me.

If you never do anything, how will anything happen?

“Ryo-sempai, this is the last day before winter break, why don’t we meet during break, somewhere, so we can be finished by the time we get back?” I think that was the most I’d ever said to him.

“Sounds great!” he smiled “You could come to my apartment.”

I froze. Ryo-sempai’s apartment?

“S-sure”

I can’t wait to tell Miki.