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A/N: Okay, so we had this assignment for Creative Writing. I had a sudden inspiration for a story involving my old Chi No Ken characters. So I wrote this. Those of you who have read CnK will noticesome distinct differences, like the fact that their powers don't exist in this one or that some of the character attributes have been changed. That was me making it more "real". I'm planning to (if I ever hear back from pearlescence) rewrite CnK. But that won't be for a while.
So anyways...I wrote a sequel to this, too, but I have to find it on my mom's laptop before I can upload it here. So until then, please R&R this one! Yay!
Disclaimer: I do not own AFI and their songs, System of a Down, the phrase "Cheer up, Emo Boy" (that belongs to my friend Sean XD), or the phrase "tonsil hockey". Everything else is mine. (and sort of pearlescence's, since she owns CnK at this moment.) Enjoy!
CnK: Truth or Dare
"What do you mean?"
She said it as she stood by the sink, her wispy red hair falling haphazardly from a loose bun. The look on her face was a mixture of fear and strife, and for a moment I regretted having told her anything.
But the show must go on.
I cleared my throat. "I mean that I li--"
"I know what it means," she interrupted, waving her hair out of her face. It immediately fell back, and I wondered what the point was.
"Kurt."
I realized she had asked me something. "Sorry; what?"
She sighed deeply. "I said, what would your father think?"
The band was taking a break from practice, and I held my electric bass in my lap. I looked over at Lexi, who eagerly anticipated my answer. Her hair, currently dyed bright blue, was unbrushed and sticking out in various directions, making her look like the crazy drummer she was. "Well?" she goaded, her aqua eyes dancing with mischief.
"Know what?"
She rolled her eyes in mock exasperation. "You know...that you like guys instead of girls."
"Oh," I replied wearily. "That. Yeah."
Lexi fell quiet as she realized it hadn't gone very well. We were best friends, and I appreciated the way she could read my feelings. Eventually she inquired, "What'd she say?"
"She asked me what I thought my dad would think."
Lexi was deathly silent now. She knew the story of my dad.
I looked down at my bass, which held my reflection. My hair was getting long now, reddish-brown tendrils hanging in my eyes. Based on the few pictures my mom had shown me, it was the same color as my dad's--which bothered me. I pushed my hair out of my face and stared into the mirror image of my stormy blue eyes.
"Stormy blue eyes." Adam came up with that one when we were younger. "You have the coolest eyes," he had said. "Gray-blue, like the sky after a storm." I had waved off the compliment at the time. Now the irony of it amused me--how my life was stormy and unstable.
"Kurt?" Lexi asked timidly--which shocked me; Lexi was anything but timid. "You okay?"
I shrugged. "Fine, I guess. Just thinking."
She nodded. "How'd you answer your mom's question?"
I smiled sourly at the memory. "I told her that I didn't give a shit what that fucker thought of me."
Of course, I grew up bitter. That's to be expected when you learn your father was a chickenshit bastard who got scared and ran from his life. Eventually, I got used to the lack of father figure. But that didn't mean I forgave him.
Mom still got letters from him. There was never a return address, so we never knew where he was. And he always sent weird little objects with the letters, as if the objects would spell out a pattern and tell Mom where he was.
Once it was an old penny, crusted green with age. It made Mom cry for some reason, but I never asked her why. I was seven, and it scared me to see an adult cry.
Before I could ask her what was wrong, she swept me up into her arms and made me promise never to leave anyone I truly loved, no matter what.
That was when I learned how to hate my father.
I tuned him out. I was distracted, anyway. Mel, our keyboardist and resident sound techie, was whispering heatedly with Adam about how he played his guitar too loud, while Adam doodled pictures of Eikichi dying various slow and painful deaths on the back of his sheet music. I could see Adam rolling his eyes and trying to ignore Mel, finally donning a pair of headphones with System of a Down turned up to a volume that couldn't possibly be safe for human ears. Mel got the hint and slumped in her seat, muttering venomously. Eikichi seemed not to notice any of this, joyfully continuing his speech.
I felt something nudge me in the ribs, and I looked down. It was an uncanny drawing of stick-figure-Eikichi getting mauled by an agitated wooly mammoth. Adam pointed at it and grinned. Feeling like I had to respond in some way, I nodded and pantomimed shooting myself in the temple. Adam shook with silent laughter and got to work on another drawing.
"...so this is important," Eikichi concluded. "Any questions?"
Mel stuck her hand in the air. Not waiting to be called on, she said, "Yeah, why do you keep making these pointless 'announcements' and stuff?"
While they argued, I was again distracted by Adam. I couldn't stop staring at him. His short, spiky blonde hair, his wiry figure, his deep golden eyes...Come on, Kurt, keep it together, I told myself. He doesn't know you're gay yet, remember?
I sighed resignedly. At the rate I was going, he was never going to know.
I kept expecting our friendship to end, as if at any minute he would disappear and I'd never see him again, like I never saw my dad. But it didn't happen, and we grew up together and learned to play music together and, eventually, dropped out of high school to join a band together.
One difference between us, though, was that I had no luck with girls. I'd had a couple girlfriends, but we never stayed together for more than a few weeks because I felt nothing towards them. However, Adam, you might say, was a player.
"Man, don't worry," he told me once. "You'll get lucky one of these days." I didn't have the balls to tell him the truth: I just couldn't see myself liking any of my girlfriends that way, let alone having sex with them.
It never occurred to me that I might be gay until the night after the band's first gig. We were all pretty drunk. Lexi, being Lexi, suggested that we all play Truth or Dare. To make a long story short, Adam and I wound up making out.
The morning after, Adam didn't remember a thing. I was afraid to tell him what had happened, because I had kind of liked it. As in, none of the girls I ever kissed had made me feel like that.
But, like I said, I was afraid to tell him. So I told Lexi, because she was my other best friend and a lesbian, and therefore likely to understand. She agreed to keep a secret, but she said I'd have to tell Adam about my feelings at some point.
"What?!" I had almost shouted. "Are you crazy?! Adam's my friend, but...well...what if he gets freaked out? What if he refuses to be my friend anymore?"
Lexi had put her hand on my shoulder, as if to keep me on the ground, and replied: "If he's really that good of a friend to you, he won't care."
We hadn't written any new songs lately, so we were practicing a cover of AFI. "The Prayer Position" was a favorite of us all, because it was so much fun to sing. (I use the term "sing" very loosely: AFI's music, as a general rule, is approximately 87 throaty screaming.)
We each had our own reasons for liking it, too. Lexi liked it because of the complexity of the drum part. Adam liked it because he could show off his "mad guitar skillz". I liked it because the bass line was fairly easy, so I could concentrate more on screaming.
I also liked it because Adam was adorable when he jumped around like a bunny on crack, but I wasn't about to admit that to anyone.
Eikichi and Mel were busy with the soundboard, so every now and then we'd hear a little feedback, but we were used to it. Suddenly we couldn't hear the drums anymore. I stopped playing and looked back at Lexi, who was cursing and rubbing her left eye.
Apparently Adam didn't know that Lexi was currently incapacitated, because he kept playing and singing. "And in the distance, there's a--EIKICHI! What the fuck is wrong with the SOOOUUNNNND!!"
It's hard to describe exactly why this was so funny. It probably had something to do with the fact that Adam sang the entire thing as if it were part of the song.
I burst out laughing, nearly tripping over my amp in the process. Lexi was also laughing, despite the fact that her left eye was running like a faucet, and Eikichi and Mel looked mildly amused. Adam looked around at us and dropped his arms to his sides. "What? What'd I do?"
Mel turned off the soundboard, still smiling. "Actually, Adam, the problem lies not within the sound, but within the drummer." She looked expectantly at Lexi.
"It's my stupid contact," Lexi explained. "Don't worry, I'll be fine." She finally got her contact out and pulled an eyedrop bottle from her drumstick bag.
"Aw, man!" Adam whined. "I was on a roll! We were coming up on my solo! And then Lexi's fuckin' contact has to start in!" He crossed his arms and mock-pouted. "I hate my life."
Eikichi rolled his eyes. By now, he was used to Adam's little smartass outbursts. "Cheer up, Emo Boy; you'll get your chance later. Let's pack it up for today."
As we put away our equipment, Lexi came over to me. "So..." She paused, as if approaching a tense subject. "When are you going to talk to Adam? You know, about the whole kissing-him-and-discovering-you-have-a-thing-for-him stuff?"
I chose not to answer, instead giving her an annoyed glare before picking up my bass and leaving.
I was wrong.
"I received a letter from your father today," she said with unnerving chipperness.
"He's not my father," I calmly retorted, already bored with the conversation. "I don't consider him my father. He wasn't here to watch me grow up, like a father would."
"I think he's back in town."
That got my attention. "What? How do you know?"
Wordlessly, she handed me the objects that had come with the letter in question. There was a strip of yellow paper with a phone number on it and a key. I inspected the key. It had a series of letters and numbers on it.
Mom cleared her throat, her false sense of security suddenly dissipating like fog in the sun. "In the letter, he...he said that he really wants to see you."
"Me, but not you?" I wondered out loud. "Why the hell would he want to see his child, but not his child's mother?"
"Kurt," she said, almost pleadingly, "he's never seen you before. Go find him."
"Well yeah, he's never seen me," I scoffed. "He could have seen me, but he was just worried about getting away from his accident--that's me. Teenage accident bastard child, Kurt the Magnificent! Maybe I will go find him, just so I can rub my existence in his face and say, 'See? See what happens when you make shitty choices? See what I've become because you were never there for me?'" I stopped short. I'd just gotten this nagging feeling that I'd gone too far.
I looked at Mom. Her face was so emotionless that I wouldn't have thought my words had affected her, had I not seen the telltale tears silently flowing down her cheeks.
Shit, I swore silently. Out loud I said, "I'm gonna go take a nap."
I tried not to hear her sob as I left the room.
"Hold on," I replied from my position facedown in my pillow, which made it sound more like "Hrrn drnmm." Mom left, but I didn't want to move just yet. I'm comfortable, dammit.
"Kurt! I have the greatest idea!"
Oh, God. It's Adam. Remember, Kurt, you're not gay; you don't have a stupid crush on your best friend...at least, not that he knows of. Act natural. Okay...go.
When I got through my inner monologue and turned around, I saw a wide, dumb grin on Adam's face. I also saw something red and sticky-looking on Adam's face. I gave him what I hoped was a "what the fuck?" face.
"Fake blood," he proclaimed jubilantly, looking proud of himself. "See, you know we're doing AFI covers for our next gig, and AFI's all like, 'Rarr! Blood! Death! Grr!' So it seemed to make sense." He frowned, as if suddenly unsure of something. "It does make sense, right?"
I nodded slowly. Something was wrong with this picture. He's nervous about something...but what? I wondered. I decided to leave it alone for now.
Adam began popping his knuckles. "So, how ya doing? Besides tired, I mean."
I scratched my head. "All right, I guess. Except the bastard father might be in this city right now."
Adam isn't known for being the quickest guy in the world, but he somehow grasped this concept immediately. "Seriously? Whoa. You gonna meet up with him?"
"Why not?" I shrugged. "Then again, why?"
Adam was silent for a moment. Then he said abruptly, "I didn't forget."
The sudden change in conversation caught me off guard, and I'm sure I looked really confused at that point. Adam continued popping his knuckles, and they snapped loudly in the silence of my room. When I still made no response, he elaborated: "That night after the gig. I remember everything. I never forgot. Lexi said I should come talk to you about it."
The meaning suddenly hit me. The Truth or Dare game. The making out. I wasn't the only one who had asked Lexi for help, apparently. I made a memo to myself to kick her ass later for not telling me. "Oh! Oh. Um...yeah..." I searched unsuccessfully for words. Finally I gave up and stared at him.
"I, ah..." Adam also seemed like he couldn't get any words out. We sat in some more uncomfortable silence.
I realized what I wanted to say. "So...you pretended to forget. Why?"
Adam was avoiding my eye contact.
"...Adam?"
He seemed to be very interested in the carpet.
"You okay?"
He looked past me, at my empty bedroom wall. His hazel eyes seemed to be searching for something.
I had to end the cycle somehow. Here goes nothing... "I...well...kinda...liked it, I guess."
The silence was tense and suffocating.
"You mean..." Adam was staring at the carpet again. "You mean the tonsil hockey, huh?"
Tonsil hockey. What an utterly Adam-esque phrase. I would have laughed if the situation hadn't been so serious.
He was silent. I decided to speak up again. "Why'd you pretend to forget?"
No response.
"Adam."
He picked a ball of lint off the front of his shirt.
I coughed nervously. "Did you..." How do I say this? "Did you pretend because...Did you like it, too?"
He stared at his fingernails, started to say something, changed his mind. Finally he turned away. "Um...I gotta go. See ya tomorrow. Band practice and stuff."
I watched stoically as he left. After he was gone, I kept staring at my bedroom door. For some reason, I couldn't help feeling like I had fucked up.
I picked up the things my my father had sent. Guess I'll go find him.
"Thanks for coming with me, Lexi. It means a lot to me."
"Hey, you're my friend," she said nonchalantly. "Besides, I got nothing else to do."
"Yeah, I guess," I replied lamely. I felt something crunch under my foot and bent down to pick it up. It was a film container with something inside. I shook out the something, which turned out to be a penny. It was old, crusty, and green. I looked up at my surroundings and saw that we were outside a run-down motel.
Lexi watched me as I pocketed the penny. "What does it mean?"
"It means we're close," I answered. "It means he's waiting for me."
Lexi stared at me with an expression I couldn't identify. "You can't keep yourself from going, can you?"
"What?"
"Your dad is waiting for you," she continued, "and he has a story. And no matter how much he's hurt you in the past, you're not going to stop until you hear what he has to say."
I didn't say anything. Nothing would have sounded right.
As we walked down a hall in the motel, she stopped me. "Hey, by the way...I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Adam asking me for help. I thought it would be better for you guys to work it out on your own, but I just couldn't wait around while you both stayed in denial."
I nodded. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me, Lexi."
"I talked to him again," she said, the hint of a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "I got off the phone with him just before you called to ask me to come here with you. He said to tell you that you were right."
That did surprise me. "Huh? Wait...I...I was right? Then he--"
"I think this is the place," she interrupted.
I looked at the door. It had the same series of letters and numbers as the key I was holding.
"Thanks, Lexi," I told her. "Thanks for everything. But I have to do this part on my own."
"I know," she said. "Good luck."
I watched her walk away, a surge of emotion rising within me. ...I'm about to see my father for the first time...and...Adam...
I put the key into the lock. It fit.
Even before I opened the door, I could tell everything was going to be okay.
