A/N: I know, I know. I take far too long between chapters, and this is a short one at that. Sorry, sorry.

Chapter Twelve

I sat outside my master’s door for almost an hour, not sure whether I should have gone in there and stayed at the foot of the bed, or whether I was right to obey the princess and leave. She wasn’t my master, but she did outrank me. (Everyone outranked me. Except apparently Shandar had given orders that servants who came to his rooms and found me there were supposed to obey me. I still thought that was strange.)

So I sat on the floor and studied my feet, as I usually did, until the door opened and someone came out, skirts rustling.

I looked up with a frown, because that didn’t sound anything like the way Julius usually sounded. He clumped and he didn’t wear skirts.

“... your highness?”

Her hair was put up and she didn’t look like she had been crying anymore. She didn’t look happy, though. Just pale and tired and sad.

“Is...” I bit my lip. She was mad, before, when I tried to talk to her, but maybe she felt a little bit better now? “Are you all right, highness?”

“No.”

She smoothed her skirts. Her hands were trembling. Why were her hands trembling? What was there to be afraid of?

“Are you cold, highness? I could... um. I could fetch a wrap for you.”

“No. I’m not cold. Do you know where my Fool is?”

I shook my head. “No, highness. Do... do you want me to help you find him?”

She looked at me silently for a moment or two. “Well, why not?” She smoothed her skirts again – I didn’t know why, because they looked just fine – and nodded. “You may come with me.”

I stood.

... oh. I was almost a hand’s breadth taller than she was. How come I’d never noticed that before? Oh well. It probably didn’t matter that much.

“Maybe he’s in your rooms, highness.”

“I don’t think so. He was supposed to get his own little room, but I don’t know where it is.”

“Oh.”

Well, that wouldn’t do us any good in finding him. I frowned. There was the servants’ hall, but that wouldn’t do, and the Fool probably wouldn’t be there because most of them didn’t like him. I supposed we could have just wandered the palace at random and hoped, but I needed to get back to my master quickly, so that I would be available as soon as he woke.

“... Lord Shandar would probably know,” I said finally. I didn’t know if she liked him or not, but I knew that the Fool hated him. Still, he would probably know – he knew everything that went on. “We could go to his office and ask him...”

“That will do. But I don’t know where his office is.”

“I do, highness.”

“Then lead the way.”

o0o0o

I had lied a bit. I didn’t know exactly where Shandar’s office was, but I knew that he had moved his paperwork out of his own room and into a suite of rooms that no one was currently using. I knew it was close to his own suite, and I knew that there was going to be a lot of traffic to and from his office, because there was a lot to do, now that the Emperor was wedded.

There was always a lot to do, it seemed.

I led the princess – Empress, now, I supposed, since she had married my master and everything was wrapped up neatly – towards where I thought the office might be, and fortunately, I was right. His office wasn’t at all hard to find.

For one thing, the door was open and his voice carried into the hallway.

I glanced behind me to see if she was still there – I knew she was, because her skirts made a swishing noise, but she was so quiet that it was like being followed by a ghost. I had to wonder why she was so subdued now, when I remembered her being at least as vocal as my master, if not more.

I peered around the door.

“Lord Shandar?”

He glanced away from the secretary to whom he was dictating – he had acquired a dozen or so between the death of the Emperor and the wedding, but I couldn’t say exactly when – and smiled.

“Come in, Dog. What is it?”

“Her Majesty, ah, wanted to ask you something.”

“Oh, did she?” He tapped his lips with his finger and nodded to himself. “All right, lads, off with you. Go and get breakfast or some such.”

“Yes, your Excellency,” they chorused and filed out past me and Alicia. After they were all gone – save the guards that had suddenly begun to follow Shandar around, like they did Julius – Alicia and I stepped inside.

The office was a fairly large room, with a dozen chairs spaced unevenly about, depending on how much space the various secretaries needed for their lap boards and inks and papers, a table that held even more paper and spare pens, and an enormous desk towards the back, made of some dark wood and also stacked with papers. It was here that Lord Shandar was sitting, not behind the desk like any normal person, but on top of it with his legs crossed and a welcoming smile on his face.

“Good morning, Dog, your Majesty. What can I do for you?”

“I don’t know where to find my Fool. Do you know where he’s been put?”

“I do. He’s in the western wing of the servant’s quarters, with the rest of the entertainers. I think he’s in a room at the end of the first hall.”

“Thank you.”

And yet she hesitated to leave, although I didn’t know why else she would want to talk to Lord Shandar, since he told her where to find her Fool. (I guessed he was hers the same way I belonged to Julius. It wasn’t a bad life... wait, no. That would make me a slave like him. I didn’t want to be, so I wouldn’t think that way. So there.)

And I probably couldn’t leave until one of them dismissed me.

Shandar tilted his head.

“Was there something else, Majesty?”

“Yes.”

There was a moment of silence. Alicia appeared to be gathering her courage.

“What is it?” he prompted gently.

“The servants say... they tell me... They say that I shouldn’t think I’ll ever make J-J- they say I won’t make the Emperor love me, because he’s your lover and he’s been your lover since forever and that I should just give up now. Is it true?”

He looked away from her, staring at the wall. I wondered if he thought there was some writing there that would tell him what to say. He sighed.

“That depends on which part you mean,” he answered finally. “Yes, I have shared his bed, but not since he became Emperor. I suppose, in as much as you can call anyone his lover, you could call me that.”

“It isn’t fair.” She sounded on the verge of tears. I felt a strange urge to hug her, but I didn’t think she would like that. “How can I possibly compete with you?”

He blinked. “Beg pardon, highness?”

“You’re handsome, and clever, a-a-and experienced, and... and how can I possibly compete with all of that? You’re amazing, and he doesn’t even like me.”

“Majesty...” He looked at her again and shook his head with a sad kind of smile. “Alicia. You’re right. It isn’t fair. And it likely won’t ever be fair. He may never love you at all, no matter what your Fool’s stories and the minstrels’ ballads say. That is truth, unpleasant and unhappy as it is. That is life, your Majesty, and it won’t change for all our wishing. But...” He smiled wryly. “If it makes you feel any better at all, I doubt he will ever love me either. He is too selfish for that.”

“I suppose that’s true.” She sighed and shook her head. “But it doesn’t make me feel any better either.”

“I thought not, else I would be claiming that consolation myself. Good day, Majesty. At least you can give him one thing I most definitely cannot.”

“What’s that, Shandar?”

“Children.”

She laughed.

“Good day, Lord Shandar. I wouldn’t be in your position for all the world. Come, Dog.”

I wanted to ask why she thought his position was so very uncomfortable that she wouldn’t take his place even if someone gave her the whole world, but it wasn’t my place to ask. It wasn’t even my place to say that I had better be heading back before my master missed me, instead of following her through the halls towards, presumably, the room that had been set aside for the Fool’s use. I was probably already in trouble for not being there right now. He could already be awake. It wouldn’t hurt to delay a bit longer. I rather liked Alicia, now that she wasn’t shouting at me.

Maybe I even thought she was pretty.

o0o0o

The servants’ quarters were comprised of several tiny little cubicles, big enough for one person and perhaps a trunk or two, but very little else. Even so, I envied them. They might not have much room, but they had cots of their own, and didn’t have to sleep on the floor, which was uncomfortable at the best of times.

The Fool’s room was just like any other, and we had to ask another servant which one was his before we found it. (The man was one of the musicians who usually played to accompany meals, and seemed disdainful, for some reason. Alicia was indignant on her Fool’s behalf and slapped him. He got a lot more obsequious after that.)

She tried the door. It was locked.

“Go away!”

She knocked instead.

“Who is it?”

The Fool’s voice seemed deeper than I remembered, but maybe that was just because it was muffled.

“It’s me, Fooly. Let me in.”

There was a few moments’ pause, then the door rattled and opened. The Fool wasn’t dressed in motley, as I was used to seeing him. He was only wearing a pair of loose, plain trousers. His hair was all mussed, too. I supposed he must have just woken up, which would explain why he was grouchy.

“... good morning, ‘Licia,” he greeted her with a smile. Then he saw me and frowned. “He can’t come in.”

“Why not?” She folded her arms. “I brought him with me, he can come in.”

“I’d rather not, ‘Licia.”

“Fool-y­. I thought you liked him. You said he was the only decent person here, remember?”

I blinked. I hadn’t thought that the Fool’s opinion of me was so high. He made fun of me so much, and treated me like a child – which I suppose I was. He hadn’t ever talked to me as if he were fond of me that I remembered.

“Please, Mistress. I don’t want to.”

I frowned. He had said almost exactly the same thing when Shandar... the night that Shandar was flogged. I didn’t want to upset him as Shandar had, and I didn’t want him to dislike me as he did Shandar, so I bowed to Alicia.

“Please, Majesty, I should go back to my master anyway.”

She seemed to think about this for a while, and shrugged. “Fine. Go on, boy.”

I bowed again.

“Thank you, Majesty.”

I wasn’t going to make the Fool do anything he didn’t want to do. I wouldn’t want to have to do something I didn’t want, and so I didn’t want to do it to anyone else. Besides. He was nice.

Sometimes.