Ties That Bind

A short story

Disclaimer: I do not own Michelle Branch or any of her songs. (sobs)

Another ten minutes till class. Though he was tired, sweating, and wearing yesterday’s clothes with bloodstains on the sleeve (he’d say it was red paint, if questioned. But then no one ever did) , Tony kept on running, hugging his books tightly to his chest, partially just to keep them falling, partially to fight his nervousness in facing his best friend, who he’d angered for the third time in two weeks. No one else noticed him in his dirtied jeans and white windbreaker, regardless of the fact that he looked like he’d just taken a direct hit from a tornado- his hair all messed up and an all too noticeable bruise running down his left cheek. In any other reality, where people were caring and thought about others, maybe someone would stop to ask why he looked like that. But then this was the world from which Tony came from- a place where people had gotten so used to him coming to school looking like he’d been through a street brawl without questioning him. They avoided him, most of the time. Not that they really knew what he was. Not that they’d bothered to find out. Somehow, everyone else just knew that Tony was weird. Different.

If they only knew.

When he found the person he was looking for- the 17-year old boy who shared most classes with him, stood shorter than him with long black hair and piercing blue eyes, slender build and pale complexion, who also happened to go by the name of Scott- he approached with caution, rehearsing the sentence he’d built up minutes ago repeatedly in his mind.

“Hey Scott,” he said, plastering a big smile on his face.

Scott, who had been taking out books from his locker didn’t even look at him. “Hey,” he answered. He closed the locker carefully before turning to face Tony with an expecting look, knowing full well why his friend was looking so disheveled.

“Yeah, I think you can guess,” Tony grinned. “Either way I’m sorry I didn’t turn up last night. I had to…you know, well….you know.”

Scott raised an eyebrow. “Again,” he said. “The least you could’ve done was call in advance. The guys weren’t very happy, and neither was Ernie. I mean, when he gives us money, he expects a full band to be performing at the club. And last night we were missing a guitarist. The same person we’ve been missing the other five times.”

“Wasn’t that three?” Tony interrupted.

“Five, if you count the two incidents three weeks ago,” Scott sighed.

Tony put on his apologetic look. “Scott, you know I don’t miss these things by choice-

“I know you don’t,” Scott said calmly. “But I don’t know how much more of this the guys can take. I mean, I don’t mind that much, it’s just Ren and Liz who need to be convinced. Now if they knew about…what you are, then they probably won’t mind so much.”

“No,” Tony said firmly, his apologetic look replaced by a sudden seriousness. “Scott you promised, and I trusted you, no one is supposed to know.”

Scott stared at him for a while with a sad look on his face, as though trying to contemplate what to say. Then he shrugged and said, “Fine. Just turn up tonight, please? I don’t think Ernie’s ever going to hire us again if we keep this up.”

“Promise,” Tony said.

The two stared at each other in complete silence for a while. And then the bell rang, and they both laughed.

-

Tony hated Math tests. Chemistry tests, he didn’t mind because he found it interesting somehow. Art, along with Literature were things he’d…picked up in his former lives, things he had no trouble impressing the teachers with. Maths whoever, was just…bleagh. He’d broken his second 2B pencil out of frustration, and he didn’t seem to be getting any closer to the end of the paper. Sitting at the back corner of class, by the window allowed him to see how the rest of the class was doing.

From what he could see, most of them were already done, now running through their answers another time to check for errors. Mr. Collins was standing vigilantly by the blackboard, watching over the entire class, taking time to check on his watch every once in a while.

The clock on the wall above his head told Tony that he only had about ten minutes left.

“X equals negative three point four five and Y equals two point three three.”

Hearing the all too-familiar voice whispering in his ear, Tony put on an annoyed look, put down his pencil and turned to look at the girl with blonde hair, dressed in a blue Reebok shirt and cargo pants, standing at his left side with a wide grin on her face.

“Karen,” he said in a hushed voice. “I told you I don’t want you looking at Liz’s answers for me!”

She leaned closer to him. “Well,” she said. “If you want to fail THAT badly…”

“Eyes on your desk, Anthony!”

Tony reacted as though he’d been hit by an electric jolt, instantly fixing his eyes back on his paper as he mouthed the words to ‘Go away!’ to Karen. He was only lucky that Mr. Collins hadn’t decided he was trying to glance over at Liz’s desk to cheat. He was luckier still that Mr. Collins, along with the rest of the class could see dead people.

Like Karen.

She put on a look on her face as though she had been slapped across the face. Then, without saying a word, she turned around and stormed out of the classroom, passing through Mr. Collins and the whiteboard, leaving no trail of her ever being there behind.

‘God only knows why I haven’t Sent her,’ Tony thought to himself bitterly. Though it was basically his job to send wandering souls to the afterlife, Karen Mitchell, the girl he’d grown up with until her untimely death last year due to his failure to keep her safe, was a special case. Unlike most of the others he’d had to deal with, she didn’t want to cross over, preferring to stay by his side instead. They were after all, best friends in life, and for some reason, she still wanted to stay that way now that she was dead- which wasn’t an entirely flattering thing.

Not that he hated her.

Being the only one who could see her, he was the only one she could talk to, meaning he had her complete and undivided attention, which wasn’t always a good thing. Karen was the one who’d always tried to annoy him in life. They fought a lot- in a friendly sort of way, exchanging attacks and retorts whenever possible. Was it chemistry? Tony wasn’t sure. What he did know was that he had been in love with her, and that was one of the reasons why she was still here.

Selfish, really, but then she didn’t seem to complain.

He didn’t get any closer to finishing the paper from then on. Time just passed, he put down his pencil as ordered, and allowed his teacher to take the paper away, knowing full well that it would come back with an ‘F’ stamped on it. Like it always did.

He walked out of the room with his head raised, looking up at the ceiling as he went.

Scott was waiting by the drinking fountain outside for him. Standing right beside him was Karen, not that Scott would’ve known that.

“HeyScottandKaren,” Tony mumbled, sighing as he kept on walking for his locker.

“Karen’s here?” Scott’s eyes widened with surprise.

‘You didn’t have to tell him,’ Karen told Tony dryly in a voice Scott wouldn’t hear.

“She’s everywhere I go,” Tony reminded Scott. “Except tests and toilets. And the occasional episode of Desperate Housewives. She hates it. Otherwise she’s always breathing down my shoulder.”

‘I don’t breathe,’ Karen reminded him, at the exact same moment when Scott said, “She doesn’t breathe.”

“Whatever,” Tony rolled his eyes. And that was an answer to both parties.

It was just as he stuffed his books into his locker and slammed it shut that he saw Anna walking briskly up the stairs leading to the roof with a suspicious look on her face. It wasn’t so much the face as the jerky manner of her walk that told Tony all he needed to know. He had a job to do.

And it was when he was going to tell Karen and Scott this that he realized that they had both been talking to him.

“Are you even listening to me?” the two of them asked in unison.

Fighting the urge to snap at the both of them, Tony rushed past them with the sentence, “Ivegottajobtodoseeyalaterbye!”

And so he went after Anna, with the only two people in school who knew his secret watching on as he ran.

-

It wasn’t really all that hard to catch up with her. In fact, at one point Tony had intentionally slowed down to let her get onto the roof, where no one else would be. Fewer questions asked that way. Anna would have questions, though. It was something Tony wouldn’t be able to avoid. Already he could see the scene playing itself in his mind. He’d tell Anna the truth; she’d look at him with total disbelief, and then forget about it the next day, remembering only to keep further away from him than before. It had happened at least six times before, and Tony’d been lucky enough to have one of them to be Rona, the local cheerleader-cum-gossipmonger. She’d been kind enough to convince the entire school population that he was a freak by word of mouth, and for good measure, she passed it along Friendster as well, in a bulletin labeled as ‘Freaks In Haven to Stay Away From’.

‘And now Anna as well,’ Tony thought to himself sadly. Every person he helped only seemed to help spread the ‘freak’ label towards more people in school. It almost made him regret having to help her. He didn’t mind so much last week when he’d had to do the same for Josh, the local quarterback. Josh had thought of him as a freak even before Tony had had the chance to prove it.

Anna was a different case.

She was the girl with shoulder-length black hair who smiled at him whenever their eyes met. She was the one person who didn’t treat him like a freak. Of course, that was partially due to the fact that they never talked, really.

Today, they would, and Tony knew it would be their first, and last conversation ever.

Assuming, of course, Tony could stop the thing inside her from ending her life in time.

Anna was walking jerkily towards the edge of the roof now, with Tony quickly closing in, his hands already in his pockets, his fingers closing around the two things he never left home without ever since moving to Haven.

“Stop!” he called out just as Anna was only about a few feet away from the edge.

And abruptly, she did, turning around slowly to face him.

An expression that was a mixture of surprise and fear formed on Anna’s face, which had been blank only moments ago. The voice that came from her mouth as she spoke was that of a woman’s, as far as Tony could tell, but it was most certainly not Anna’s.

“A shaman,” the thing inside Anna said, backing away slowly.

Tony nodded simply, producing the two items from his pockets as though to illustrate the point. In his left hand was an ornamental dagger, with a curved blade glinting in the sunlight. In his other hand was what appeared to be a wooden flute of sorts, with plantlike carvings around it.

“I don’t know whether you have a specific grudge against Anna Wilkins, but either way, you’re not taking her,” Tony said firmly.

The thing shook Anna’s head, the look of fear now clearly etched on her face. “I’m lonely,” she said. “You have no idea how lonely it is for me. I need someone to talk to.”

“And you picked Anna?” Tony raised an eyebrow. “I know some chaps at the local cemetery who are fine with each others company-

“I want her.”

There was no mistaking the emotion in that voice. Tony had dealt with several of these cases before- the dead on occasion fancied living people, and forced death upon the ones they wanted to spend an eternity with, assuming that the souls of the one they chose didn’t pass over instantly. That rarely happened though, whenever it came to those who died after possession. The things that possessed them usually had ways of rooting their victims into this plane with them. Tony had dealt with this kind of thing often enough- though there was something distinctively different about this case.

“Hold it,” he said, lowering the flute and the knife, a look of curiosity appearing on his face. “If you want well, company, why didn’t you pick a man?”

Silence.

The two stared at each other in silence for a while. Then, finally, Anna sighed and rolled her eyes as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“I’m a lesbian.”

“…oh.”

Tony’s eyes widened with surprise. “Oh,” he repeated, an awkward smile appearing on his face. “So I take it that uh…Anna’s a lesbian too?”

“Well…I don’t think so. But then she hasn’t really met me, has she? I might be able to change her-

“Stop!” Tony raised his hands. “This is more pathetic than the gay guy who tried to get Josh- no wait, that was much, much worse. Whatever it is, the point is you can’t just take her and expect her to like you. And this has nothing to do with Anna being a lesbian or straight. You can’t just make her end her life for you, especially when she doesn’t know you. It’s unfair.”

“So was it fair that ‘I’ didn’t see that trailer coming my way?”

Tony was about to open his mouth to argue, when he realized that he was getting carried away. Again. It happened often enough, especially with the ones that weren’t really that intent on causing harm.

“I’m sure that there are plenty of other dead lesbians on the other side,” Tony assured her, making a cut on his right index finger. He then dropped the knife and raised the flute to his lips.

“No!” the woman shouted, quickly turning around to make the jump.

The first note came before she could do it, freezing Anna’s body to the spot. Tony couldn’t hear the note himself- being alive. The instrument he’d inherited from his father was one he’d had to learn to use based on finger coordination instead of telling the difference between the binding notes, which more experienced shamans were supposed to be able to do.

With Anna’s not moving, Tony quickly took the window of opportunity to use the blood on his index finger to trace a circular symbol with a crossing rune on his palm of his right hand. When that was done, he calmly raised the flute to his lips again and continued playing.

As Tony had expected, the spirit that had possessed Anna was one that hadn’t been gone long, and that made things simpler for him. The older or more ancient a spirit was, the more powerful it would be and the harder it would be to Send. The spirit of the woman who was possessing Anna could only exert some degree of control over Anna’s body, which, judging by the jerky way she had been walking, was quite weak on its own. The journal left behind by Tony’s father had talked about spirits that could not only control a living body, but twist and change its shape as well. So far, Tony had only run into one such spirit, and he’d had the help of Uncle Rory to deal with that one. Apart from having more power, older spirits tended to also be more violent, and more calculating, usually with a much bigger agenda than simply looking for company.

As Tony continued playing the song, the outline of the woman started to appear behind Anna, its shape and form becoming more and more distinctive as the song picked up in volume and pace.

When the form appeared distinct enough, Tony immediately stopped playing and lunged forward, grabbing the thing’s left hand with his right.

The spirit, unable to fight back stared at him with a pleading look on her face as Tony started chanting, invoking his right to open the Gate. The act itself wasn’t really a spell of any kind. Spells that witches cast could often enough be cast in using incantations done in English, depending on the type or level of the spell. Tony’s request was being made in a Native American tongue, as he was dealing with the gatekeeper his ancestors had worked for. There were other foreign shamans who dealt with different gatekeepers, but no one really knew what difference it would make.

The point was that the spirit would no longer be trapped in this plane.

The woman’s screams started to grow faint as the circular gate that formed behind her started pulling her away from him.

He hesitated, like he always did at this point. But as always, he eventually let go and watched her disappear, the gate disappearing after her.

Anna was lying on the ground now, her eyes wide and her chest moving up and down rapidly as she started catching her breath as though someone had just tried to drown her. Tony smiled uncertainly at her as he bent down to pick up his dagger, pocketing it hastily in case the sight of it would scare her more than she clearly already was.

“You’re okay now,” he said, prepared to leave before she got to the questions which he really didn’t feel like answering right now. As she got to her feet, he started backing away. “I could stay and explain, but believe me, you don’t want to know.”

She caught him by the hand and pulled him close.

“Thank you.”

And then it happened. They were kissing. Kissing. It happened so suddenly that he didn’t even have time to be surprised that it was happening. As it was, he didn’t care that it hadn’t happened before, and that all things considered, this scored a perfect ten on the scale of ‘why the heck is this happening?’ There was just those few seconds, and time didn’t exist before or after. There was just the two of them, and the universe around them didn’t exist either.

Then, just as abruptly as it had started, it ended, and he was back in the real world, with Anna squeezing his hand gratefully.

At first there was silence wrapped in bliss as his eyes met hers-

And then the first question that came to mind popped out.

“So you don’t think I’m a freak?” he asked.

“I don’t care if you are,” Anna said. “The thing is that you saved me. I thought I was going to die back there. It was like, something else was moving my body, and I couldn’t do anything but watch. Then you came. You were the one who drove that thing out of my body, right?”

Tony nodded in response. “It was a spirit,” he explained. “Well call it whatever you want- a ghost, a soul, anything. It’s what’s left behind when people die, assuming they don’t cross over.”

Anna’s eyes widened with interest. “So you’re an exorcist or something?”

Tony grinned widely. It wasn’t the first time he’d been called that. It was quite funny, actually to be called an exorcist when he wasn’t even a Catholic to begin with. In fact, his ancestors who used to do what he did now used to get burnt at the stake by the paranoid Christians. Now, hundreds of years and one blockbuster horror movie later, the first thing that came to another person’s mind when they saw him do what he did, was the word ‘exorcist’. Of course, technically an exorcist didn’t necessarily have to be Catholic. It was just an image burned into the minds of the current generation thanks to the movie.

“That’s not too far off the mark,” he told Anna. “But the more proper term would probably be ‘shaman’.”

“’Shaman’, huh,” Anna muttered. “So you see dead people wandering around? Is it like your sacred duty or something to send them back?”

Tony shook his head. “Well, I’m not really obliged to save everyone I see, if that’s what you mean, nor am I obliged so deport every lost soul I see right across to the other side. I just make sure that our world doesn’t get too crowded with spirits of the dead, and I only intervene if they try to tangle themselves up in affairs of the living.”

Tony stared at Anna, trying to read her expression. So far so good. She didn’t seem that much freaked, and she wasn’t running away.

Anna looked around, as though searching for someone. She then shrugged and hugged herself tightly, still wearing the same grateful smile. “Not exactly a superhero either, huh? Listen, would you mind telling me more about all this over coffee? It’s not every day I get to meet a shaman.”

Tony shrugged, returning her smile. “It’s not every day I save someone who actually stays to thank me. In fact, you’re the third person I’ve met who has actually ever stayed around for an explanation.”

“The other two being?”

“Uh…Karen and Scott,” Tony answered hesitantly.

“The two people who hang around you the most,” Anna said thoughtfully. “Should’ve guessed. But Karen’s-

She stopped when she realized why Tony had hesitated to say Karen’s name. “Sorry,” she apologized quickly. “I mean, I knew her too.”

Tony thought about mentioning the fact that Karen still hung around school, albeit in a form that no one else could see. But then he decided that that would warrant more explanations, which he would get to eventually, just not now. Now he was just tired, and he wanted to go home and rest so that he could be in time for the gig tonight.

“Listen, uh, I gotta go,” he said, backing off. “See you around?”

And before she could respond, he was already walking away.

-

“So she didn’t freak out?” Scott repeated with a look of mild intrigue. He and Tony were a couple of minutes away from home now, ‘home’ being the small cluster of large houses situated at the outskirts of Haven. Now that it was well into autumn, the sidewalk was covered in a sea of reddish leaves. The chill of the oncoming winter was already lingering in the air, doing nothing to deter children from running about; eager to get as much time to have fun before the sun went down. The teenagers didn’t have it so easy though- at least not all of them. The houses that Tony and Scott passed had teenagers doing slave labor (the sweet term for it being ‘chores’) in their front yards, raking up leaves into piles that would later be scattered by the children.

“Nope,” Tony answered, walking on a few steps ahead of Scott, being the more eager of the two to get home. “She was sort of like you, really. She seemed to think that being a shaman was the coolest thing, on account that I’m like this superhero who saves lives.”

Scott rolled his eyes, not attempting to hide the smile on his face. “Well, I only thought that a first. You’re not really that high on my list of cool things. In fact, you’re not on it at all. You’re on my list of normal things.”

Tony grinned. “Six years does that to you. I bet Lois Lane didn’t think much of Superman after knowing him for so long.” He had barely finished that sentence when the memory of Josh came back to haunt him, which subsequently jolted him into quickly adding, “Not that we’re…you know. Bleagh. I meant that in a...”

“Don’t explain, please,” Scott said through gritted teeth, suddenly backing off from Tony.

They laughed.

“So is Anna going to ask you out?” Scott asked later, as they reached the old road leading up to the higher, forest area where their houses were. “I’d ask if you were going to ask her out, but then your tongue used to lock every time you tried to ask Karen out, so…”

Tony shrugged. “I dunno,” he answered honestly. “I mean, she’s cute. And she’s nice to me most of the time. And she’s not freaked out by me…so I guess I just might. Ask her out, I mean.” His eyes then turned up to the branches overhead and he sighed deeply. “There’s a ‘but’, though…”

“Karen,” Scott said simply. It wasn’t even a guess.

“It’s going to make me feel kinda guilty,” Tony said. “I mean, Karen still hangs around me a lot, even though she’s dead. And I still kinda like her, even if she is dead.”

“Necrophiliac,” Scott teased.

“I can’t explain it,” Tony sighed. “And I don’t want to think about it.” They were now at the front gate leading to Tony’s house.

“Then don’t,” Scott told him, walking onwards as Tony stopped. “Just make sure you turn up tonight on time.”

“I will,” Tony promised, opening the small wooden white gate leading to his front lawn. “I will,” he repeated, as though reminding himself as he walked up to the wooden porch, past his mother’s rose bushes and the silent rocking chair where she usually sat in the evening, thinking of her late husband.

‘Assuming I don’t run into any more violent spirits.’

He opened the door and let himself in, dropping his backpack by the door as he made straight for the kitchen, having caught a whiff of the curry aroma as he first entered.

“Ma, I’m home!”

When he got to the kitchen, he found that his mother wasn’t alone. She barely spared him a glance as he walked into the kitchen as she was concentrating on the stove. The large, muscular man with long dark brown hair at the table, however acknowledged Tony’s return by standing up, beaming at him as he walked up to catch him in a bear hug.

“Nice to see you too, Uncle Rory.”

Tony had last met his father’s brother at the funeral three years ago, though he’d known the man far longer than that. Like him and his father, Rory was a shaman too. He lived somewhere in a remote part of Alaska, if Tony wasn’t mistaken, with the rest of his father’s family. Rory was one of the few members that Tony had the pleasure of getting to know, as not all of his father’s relatives had appreciated his decision to move out of the village with the woman that he loved, settling down in New York. It had only been for less than a year though- as much as Tony’s father didn’t want to stay bound to tradition, his roots eventually called for a less urban setting- which led him to Haven. Tony’s father had been the among the first few who ventured out into the ‘new world’ back then. Now more and more of the family were spreading out across the country as it seemed that the amount of wandering spirits only seemed to increase drastically with every passing day.

“How’s my favorite nephew?” Rory asked in his same, deep, wolfish voice as he let go of Tony.

“A few broken bones,” Tony grinned weakly. “But fine nonetheless.”

From the stove, his mother flashed them an amused smile. “He’s beginning to look more and more like his father, isn’t he?”

Rory studied Tony for a while, before he scoffed, “Yeah, actually, apart from the fact that he’s all skin and bones.” He peered intently at Tony and asked, “You eating right, boy?”

Tony’s mother seemed to take this personally, turning away from the stove this time. “Of course he is,” she said, not really in an informing manner, more of a reminding manner.

“Of course I am,” Tony grinned, seating himself at the table. “Well, what brings you here, Uncle Rory?”

As he asked this question, he realized that the look on his mother’s face darkened considerably.

“Well,” the older man said, hesitating slightly as he sat back down at the table. “I came to see you actually. There’s something we need to talk about.”

-

Tony found himself alone on the front porch with Uncle Rory later that evening, the two of them sitting on the wooden steps facing the garden and the forest outside the gates, where the sun seemed to be disappearing. He was about to find out whatever it was that had given his mother than darkened look earlier in the kitchen. Though Uncle Rory rarely ever showed up in town bringing bad news (he usually only dropped by to visit his brother), somehow Tony had a feeling that this would be one of those rare occasions.

“Well,” Tony said, feeling impatient. “What is it that you need to talk to me about?”

If Rory had been uneasy about saying it earlier, Tony’s prod made it easy. The older man sighed deeply, looking away from Tony as he let it out. “Your grandfather, your family, we feel that you should be trained properly as a shaman. They sent me to take you home with me, back to the village.”

The reaction was instantaneous. Tony instantly shot up to his feet, backing off as he shot a look of disbelief towards his uncle. “What?” he gasped. “But…but Dad already taught me-

-The basics,” Rory interrupted. “From what we hear, you have been doing good in this town with what little knowledge you have. The others admire you for it, Tony, but times are changing. Things are getting rougher for our kind. Older, more powerful spirits are starting to rise. You’re going to have to be ready for them.”

‘What little knowledge you have.’ Tony’s eyes narrowed as those words repeated themselves in his head. They made him feel so small, and he hated that. Partially because it implied that he was weak, mostly though because it implied that his father hadn’t trained him enough- hadn’t been a proper enough teacher.

“I haven’t even graduated from high school,” Tony said plainly, hoping that that would be the defense he needed.

“There’s a high school in the town close to the village,” Rory informed him. “The town’s called ‘Pine Lake’. It’s a lot like Haven. You’ll like it there.”

‘A lot like Haven?’ Was that supposed to be a consolation? Wherever the place was, it wouldn’t be Haven. Scott wouldn’t be there. His mother wouldn’t be there- he knew full well that she wouldn’t leave the town where his father rested. What fragment of a life he had built here, would it mean nothing now? Was he just supposed to stand up and leave?

“I might,” Tony sighed, his voice sharp. “Like it there, I mean. But we’re never going to find out, because I’m not going.”

And before his uncle could try to persuade him, he ran back into the house, making sure to slam the door behind him as he ran up the stairs to his room.

-

By seven, it was already dark outside. Even though his uncle hadn’t tried to come up to his bedroom to try and talk to him further, Tony kept the door to his room locked, just in case. The only other person in his room now was Karen, who didn’t need to use the door to begin with. She was standing by the aquarium, staring at him as he lay in bed with a worried look on her face.

“He can’t…make you go, can he?” she asked.

Tony sighed and turned away from the Green Day poster he had been facing. “I don’t know, Karen,” he said. “I don’t think he can. I know I don’t want to.”

“Why don’t you want to?” Karen asked further. “I mean, it’s not like you’ve got that much to lose. If it’ll keep you safe from whatever’s going to happen, wouldn’t it be worth it? Besides, it’s not like there are going to be many people in school who’re going to miss you anyway.”

Tony’s eyebrows lifted. “You mean you wouldn’t?”

Karen’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t think I count,” she said. “On account on being dead. Besides, you said there isn’t a range limit to how far I can leave my burial spot behind. I’ll just go with you.”

“The place I’m going to will probably be a hundred times more boring than Haven,” Tony warned her, a slight smile on his face now. Even if he wasn’t planning to go, it felt nice to hear her say that she wanted to come along. At least, if he did somehow end up forced to go, he wouldn’t be alone.

“I highly doubt that,” Karen stated plainly.

“I have friends here,” Tony added. “Like Scott…and well…-

-Apart from Scott,” Karen reminded him. “Your other friends all live in the local graveyard, Tony. From what it sounds like, this village you’re going to is going to have other shamans. You won’t be treated like a freak anymore.”

Tony shrugged, sitting up from the bed to face her with an annoyed look on his face. “Yeah well, maybe I don’t mind being treated like a freak, you know?” he said sharply. “And well, at least being the only shaman in town, I won’t have to worry about being the best or the worst. It’s just…well, this town is a comfort zone, if you will. I’ve been here all my goddamned life, and I don’t think I’m ready for change.”

“From the way you uncle said it, you may not have a choice,” Karen pointed out. “And things are going to change, inevitably. You can’t escape that.”

Tony was about to answer when he was interrupted by the sound of his cellphone on the desk. Without waiting for Karen to pick it up (which she couldn’t, really), he got up from the bed and made his way to the desk. Karen stepped out of the way to avoid him walking through her- not that it hurt, it was just another one of her habits from being alive that she hadn’t gotten round to shaking off yet.

He picked it up to hear Anna’s voice, sounding suspiciously excited.

“Hey,” she said. (he could hear her snickering)

“Anna,” Tony replied, trying his best not to sound surprise. “How…how’d you get my number?”

“From Scott, who actually spends his time with people in the real world every so often,” Anna snorted. “But listen, hey, look out your window.”

And he did.

“Oh my God.”

Anna was standing at the front gate.

“Just thought I’d surprise you,” she said over the phone. “I was in the neighborhood. I just came back from Scott’s house, so I decided to drop by. Scott gave me directions. Hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“No, you’re not,” Tony replied, his lips curving into a smile.

“Great! So you can come out?”

Tony didn’t even need to take time to think it over. His answer was an immediate ‘yes’. “Be down with you in a sec,” he said, right before he hung up, putting the phone back on the desk before walking hurriedly for the door, grabbing his denim jacket from the hanger behind the door on his way out.

“Mom!” he called out as he ran down the stairs. “I’m going out- meeting a friend!”

“Take care,” his mom shouted back from her bedroom.

Rory wasn’t in the living room, much to Tony’s relief. Without so much as a glance over his shoulder, he walked out the door into the night.

-

An hour later, they were at a diner across town, where Anna had insisted on buying him dinner. He’d declined, of course. Once. Twice. Then she’d put on a look that told him that there was no point arguing, and so he gave in. In that sense, Anna reminded him of Karen- in terms of how stubborn they both were. In other respects, however, Tony learned that they were completely different. Where Karen had been a bit of a tomboy (the side-effect of having five older brothers), seen around school only in cargo pants or overalls (though there were rumors of there being one moth-eaten dress in her closet), Anna was very much a girl, judging by what little standards Tony had to measure up against.

‘So Scott was right,’ Tony realized. ‘She’s the one who asked me out. Shame on me.’

It wasn’t really that big a deal, though. It wasn’t even a date. At least, Tony didn’t think it was. Not that he cared. Either way the point was that he was here, now, with an interesting person to talk to- someone who seemed to be interested in him. All things considered, he realized that that made her special, somehow. Not many people would actually get around to acknowledging his existence, let alone befriend him. Considered eccentric by most people, coupled with the fact that he wasn’t that much of a socialite to begin with, he had very little friends. And because of that, what few friends he could get, he treasured.

They talked about themselves, mostly. They’d passed each other countless times in school, but tonight was the first time they’d had the opportunity to really sit down and talk. As Tony had expected, he was the one who’d had to tell the longer story, considering the fact that Anna hadn’t met a shaman before. It was a little unsettling, actually. There were times when Tony felt as though Anna was interested in what he was than who he was.

But those thoughts were immediately forgotten later, as Tony walked Anna back to her house.

“I had a great time tonight,” Anna told him.

“We didn’t really do anything,” Tony pointed out plainly, smiling at her.

She shrugged. “Well, the trick is never to do anything you can’t top the next time, right? I’ll bring my guitar, next time. Or we could go bowling. Or watch a movie.”

“Or all of the above,” Tony finished. “I think I should plan the next one. And I’ll ask you out, next time.”

Anna grinned. “I’d like that,” she said. “So…again, thanks for saving my life?”

Tony shook his head. “I said don’t mention it, remember?”

And that was when she leaned closer towards him.

“Fine,” she whispered in his right ear. “I won’t.”

And she kissed him gently on the cheek before backing off, giving him one last wink before walking back towards her house.

“Goodnight,” she called over her shoulder.

Tony returned the greeting and walked away, a smile firmly planted on his face. And he had a feeling that it was going to stay there for weeks.

As it was, it barely lasted five minutes.

“Karen?”

At first it looked as though she’d just been passing by, or maybe minding her own business standing across the street. Then he noticed the look on her face, and he ran up to her.

“What happened?” he asked. “You look like-

-It’s nothing,” she interrupted, forcing a smile onto her face. Tony didn’t buy it, however. He was about to press further when Karen told him something that made all the color drain from his face.

“You forgot to bring your phone with you just now,” she said. “Scott left like, a hundred missed calls.”

“Oh crap,” Tony muttered, putting his hand on the lamppost as though trying to steady himself. When Karen gave him a questioning look, he groaned loudly and told her, “The gig. I was supposed to be at Ernie’s!”

“Oh…” Karen winced. “I sorta guessed that, actually. Saw him on his way back. He looked pretty…”

“Pissed?”

“Disappointed.”

“Worse,” Tony groaned even louder. And he started marching home, trying to figure out what he could use as an excuse. He stopped barely ten steps away when he realized that he was walking alone. Surprised, he turned around to see Karen still standing at the exact same spot.

“You’re not coming?” he asked. Karen generally hung around his house most of the time, preferring his company over the company of the other spirits at the local cemetery. She’d also made friends with his mother, actually. So much that since she’d died, she was almost a member of his family.

“I’m not,” she replied, her voice strangely calm. Civil. As though she were talking formally to a teacher in school.

And before Tony could ask any questions, she was already walking in the opposite direction.

Oblivious to the fact that she was fighting back tears, he walked on.

-

The next day at school, the exact same scene as the day before, except for the fact that Tony was wearing fresh, clean clothes. As Tony reached Scott’s locker, again just in time, he immediately started with the apology he’d laid out last night after he’d tried to call Scott repeatedly, only to have Scott turn off his phone.

“Scott, I’m-

“Save it, please,” Scott sighed, not even looking at him as he closed his locker. “I don’t really want to be talking to you right now.”

And he started walking towards class.

Annoyed, Tony walked after him. “Please, Scott, it wasn’t like I didn’t show up because I didn’t want to,” he said. “I was on my way, honest. A spirit tried to attack me, using a possessed body-

“Tony, stop,” Scott said firmly. He’d stopped walking now, and was staring venomously at his best friend. Where he’d looked disappointed, sad perhaps, at the locker, now there was nothing but pure, unfiltered anger on his face. “You can’t keep on using that as an excuse.”

“An excuse?” Tony repeated. “Scott, you know that I didn’t choose to be-

“I know you didn’t,” Scott cut in again. “But the fact that you are what you are… You don’t have to lie about it, Tony. Deep down inside, you love it. Having powers. Seeing what other people can’t. Being a part of a tribe, a family. You even love the isolation. Introducing Tony the victim- Tony, the one who suffers.”

Tony fell silent, his mouth hanging open. He couldn’t tell if he was more offended or more surprised. Scott had always been just a little bit taciturn- never the kind to blurt out his feelings, especially not like this.

“And for the longest time, I bought that act,” Scott said, the tone of his voice lowering now. “I listened to you, I stood by you, even when it meant sharing the ‘freak’ label with you. I thought it was worth it, and it was at first. Then lately you’ve been growing more and more distant, spending more and more time in the cemetery with those dead friends of yours.”

Scott took a step back, distancing himself away from Tony. “You see, the problem is that, between us lately the problems are always yours. I’m the one who has to understand. I’m the one who has to give in and make sacrifices. I’m the one who has to be there for you. And I’m tired of it.”

“Look,” Tony muttered, losing the strength in his voice. “If… if this is about the band, get a new guitarist, I don’t mind.”

Scott shook his head. “Ren and Liz have been pestering me to do it for a while now, and I’ve never agreed. They’re afraid of you too. But I never agreed, because we were friends and I knew what you were going through. But you don’t know about what I have to put up with, Tony. Last night was just…”

He stopped when the bell rang.

The two stared at each other for a while, and then Scott rolled his eyes and sighed, “Just forget about it.” And at that he stormed away, leaving Tony in the middle of the wave of students rushing to class, alone with his thoughts.

-

Karen was waiting in his room when he got back home. Seeing him enter, she stood up from his bed with a pained expression on her face. Instantly, Tony remembered last night- and how he’d meant to ask her what was wrong. Now, however, he just decided that he couldn’t be bothered. Dropping his bag on his study desk, he pulled out his chair and sat down, sighing deeply.

“Tony,” Karen said, walking up to him. “I need you to do something for me.”

“Please, Karen,” Tony sighed. “I have had a really bad day, and-

“Send me.”

Tony’s eyes widened. “…and it doesn’t seem like it’s about to get any better.” An angered expression appeared on his face as he almost launched himself off from the chair. “What the hell is this about?”

“I’m done waiting,” she said. “I want to move on.”

Tony crossed his arms over his chest, rolling his eyes, “And this sudden decision was made because…”

“I just need to, Tony,” she said. “I just realized that I can’t wait for my spirit to rest itself. It’s never going to happen.”

“But you said you’d wait until you found out,” Tony reminded her. “I mean, the reason you didn’t want me to Send you was because you wanted to find out what your ‘unfinished business’ here was, settle it then move on.”

“I’ve been lying to myself,” Karen murmured, her eyes fixed on the window, looking outside. “It won’t ever happen.”

“What won’t?”

Karen sighed, moving through him as she headed for the door. “If you won’t do it, I’ll find someone else to Send me.”

Tony spun around, starting towards her. “Karen, I don’t even understand what you’re-

But she didn’t give him a chance to finish his sentence. Before he could do or say anything else, she had disappeared through the door. Tony dashed for the door to go after her, but by the time he opened it, she was gone.

-

He went down to the cemetery as the sun set, searching for her. He wasn’t sure why, but something about the things she said before she left made him feel so damn afraid, like she meant it, though as far as he was concerned, she couldn’t have. He was, after all, the only shaman in town. He doubted that she’d leave town just for the sake of finding one to Send her. Possibly what troubled him before was that, since she’d died, they’d had their fights, but she’d never asked to be Sent.

Whatever it was he, or anyone else had done wrong to get her like this, he was determined to find out and fix it- because he couldn’t afford to lose her too. He didn’t know whether Scott was going to stay angry at him, or whether they were even still friends now. But somehow, deep inside, he knew that nothing would ever be the same between them.

Because everything he’s said just now in school, most of it had been the truth.

And he wanted to fix it, somehow, but first things first, he needed to find Karen.

She wasn’t at her grave- the place she usually went when she was down. And she wasn’t at any of her regular haunts either. As he more and more places got crossed out of the list, Tony found himself getting more and more worried, feeling like the world around him was collapsing.

By the time it was almost eight, he found himself standing outside Scott’s house, trying to decide whether or not to knock on the door. If Karen needed someone to talk to, she’d usually go to Scott, making herself visible to him then. It wasn’t very likely, though. Karen had stopped coming to Scott lately when she recently found out that he loved her when she was alive.

‘It’s unfair,’ she had said back then. ‘Telling that to me now that I’m dead.’

Tony was about to knock when he heard shouting from inside the house.

“Don’t you fucking think you can get away with this, Harold! I never said anything, but I always knew-

The woman’s voice was interrupted by another voice, belonging to a man. “I wouldn’t have had to do it if you hadn’t made my life so goddamn miserable, bitch!”

Tony backed away from the door quickly, running back out onto the street. He recognized those voices as Scott’s parents. As he sat by the dead lamppost in the dark, the horrible realization came to him that this was what Scott had been talking about. This was where he hadn’t been there to talk to him.

A yellow Volkswagen van pulled up on the street in front of Scott’s house, and the driver, whom Tony instantly recognized as Ren started honking repeatedly until the front door opened and Scott came running out.

Liz opened the door around back, where all the instruments were usually kept and greeted him as Scott came in. Without anyone even noticing that Tony was standing on the other side of the road, they drove off- probably headed to Ernie’s or to the jamming studio right across the street from the bar.

Either way, Tony realized that he wasn’t a part of that anymore.

Liz and Ren were there for him. He wasn’t.

Tony continued on home in complete silence, feeling worse than he’d ever felt in his whole life.

The sight that greeted him when he entered the living room immediately drove all thoughts of guilt from his head, leaving room for only panic.

It was Rory, standing face to face with Karen with his right hand grasping her by the shoulder, chanting words that Tony had grown all too familiar with.

“Stop!” he shouted.

And thankfully, Rory did just that, backing away from Karen with a confused look on his face as he regarded the panicked look on Tony’s face as he marched in between him at the spirit who had come to him, asking to be Sent.

“Tony, what’s going on?” Rory asked.

The younger shaman didn’t even look at him. He was standing face to face with Karen now, his fists clenching and unclenching nervously.

“Uncle Rory, could you please leave us alone for a while?” Tony asked calmly without even turning around.

Rory hesitated for a while, but then shrugged and did as he was asked, moving out of the living room towards the kitchen.

“Karen,” Tony muttered a pleading look on his face. “Please don’t do this. I can’t lose you, not now. I’ve lost enough today and…” He faltered and fell silent, not knowing what to say and how to say it properly.

“Tony,” Karen said. “What I’m doing…it’s not your fault-

“Then don’t punish me,” Tony snapped. “When you left just now, I… I realized how much it scared me to lose you. I’m not a very good friend, I realize that now. I never listened to you or Scott, and still the two of you have always been there for me. You’re the only ones that keep me going, and I, and I…”

“I love you.”

Karen put on a look as though she’d been hit across the face. Hard.

“I loved you when you were alive, and I never said it. And I still love you now, because it doesn’t make a difference to me, Karen,” Tony said, his voice cracking. “Alive or dead…you’re still the one who’s always been there for me.”

Karen walked up to him, her eyes filling with tears.

“Tony, I… I love you too,” she whispered. Then, a smile appeared on her face and she said it again, “I love you.”

As she said it the second time, Tony realized that she was starting to glow- with a bright white light that made all the other lights in the room dim.

“But I’m afraid,” she said as the smile disappeared, “That I still have to leave.”

Tony’s eyes widened. “What?” he gasped. “No, no, no… don’t…”

“She’s settled her ‘unfinished business’,” a voice interrupted from behind him. Tony looked over his shoulder and saw Rory standing by the doorway, leaning against the wall. “The ties that bind her to this world are no more. The only thing that kept her here was the desire to know that she meant something to you. Now that she knows…”

“Wait!” Tony shouted. “That’s not fair!” And he turned back towards Karen, shaking his head. “Karen, you can’t just-

“She has to,” Rory said firmly. “And there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Karen seemed to be caught between joy and sorrow as the light seemed to lift her off the ground. For Tony, however, it wasn’t even a question as he sank to his knees, fighting back the tears in his eyes.

“Tony, I’m sorry,” Karen said one final time before the light engulfed her completely.

And when it cleared, and he found that he wasn’t there, Tony finally allowed himself to cry.

-

Of all the things I believed in,
I just wanna get it over with,
Tears form behind my eyes,
But I do not cry,
Counting the days that pass me by.

-

Anna was alone on stage with her guitar that night at Ernie’s. It was the first time

Scott had ever seen her perform. As he sat at the table with Liz while Ren went to bring back more soda, he kept his eyes on her, marveling not only at her beauty but her voice and talent. Ren had been right about her, when he’d brought her over to his house yesterday as a recommended replacement for Tony.

She seemed to have a thing for Tony, he realized. Last night she’d asked for his phone number and his house address, mentioning how Tony had saved her, displaying his powers and identity as a shaman.

The thought unsettled him somewhat. It was probably jealousy. Or maybe it was anger that Tony was getting attention he didn’t deserve.

“I’m just being bitter,” he whispered to himself. “It’s not Tony’s fault my parents are getting divorced.”

He decided that he’d talk to Tony tomorrow. Though he probably wouldn’t be able to convince Ren and Liz to let him back into the band, especially not if Anna agreed to join them, he decided that it would at least be alright to remain friends with him.

It wouldn’t ever be the same though.

-

I’ve been searching deep down in my soul,
Words that I’m hearing are starting to get old,
Feels like I’m starting all over again,
Last three years were just pretend.

-

Tony tucked the framed photo he had taken with Scott and Karen at the beach a few years ago carefully into his backpack. He looked around at his room and sighed, before he got up and headed for the closet. He picked out what he thought he’d need most, leaving enough clothes for him to wear whenever he came home.

His mother came in as he was arranging his clothes neatly inside his olive-colored duffel bag.

He looked up at her and smiled wearily.

“I’m going to be okay, you know,” he said calmly, though it was clear that he needed effort to keep that tone.

“I was going to say that,” she replied, hugging him tightly. “I’m going to say this again downstairs, and again at the car, and again on the phone- ‘Take care of yourself’.”

-

Goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
The one thing that I tried to hold on to.

-

As she promised, she said it again once the bags were all packed. Rory hugged her and told her the same thing before getting into the driver’s seat.

Tony smiled at her one last time before getting into the passenger’s seat beside Rory. The engine hummed to life, and before long, they were already well on their way out of town.

He kept silent as he watched the houses and streets he’d grown up in pass by, wondering if, when he came back, they’d still be the same. He’d thought of calling Scott to tell him he was leaving, then decided against it when he realized that he wouldn’t pick up.

His ties to this world where he’d spent his childhood were all gone now.

In that sense, he wasn’t that much different from Karen.

By the time they reached the cheerful ‘Welcome to Haven’ signboard well outside town, he had already fallen asleep.

-

And when the stars fall I will lie awake,
You’re my shooting star.’