1/19/06

tell me what I want, because I could never decide.
split. open. wide.
you take every admittance in stride
in vain, in overconfidence with hardly a shield
and just barely try to cover the way that you feel
each play that you steal, the ball is in your court
and will continue to be until we quit lying to ourselves...

what's good, what's right
all I know is that I hear you every night
while I fear the mere sight of you, lest I lose all self-control
or whatever I had left after you were through with me

you treat me the way I ask
misuse, misplaced from proper words to say, which ones did I hear today?
who's nearer to the truth today? where is your proof today?
if being with you never felt right,
how do I account for every line, every thought
every word you ever said
held fast in my mind tonight?
who's to blame, and how dare you take from me
what was never truly mine,
what I ask for all the time?
and why bother playing games when you know you've already won
and why do you mess around with me when it isn't any fun?

and why do I still ask for it when all is said and done?

tell me what I want, because you're always good at knowing
is my resistance not showing, slowly melting away?
I put up a fight because the demand for fights is growing
because tonight, I'm going to do what I swore I'd always do-
I will not give myself to you.