A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the long update time, but homework was just piling up, and finals week was crazy. I just got back from a week of touring with my choir in Puerto Rico, so I’m going to try to update during the second week of spring break before I get too wrapped up in things. Oh yes, and I don’t own I Love Lucy or Nip-Tuck in any way, shape, or form. Thanks a million to all of my reviewers!

delusional101: Yeah, I can relate to Bea as well. I’m not quite as much of a man-hater, but I definitely see some of myself in her.

Raven of Ice: Yeah, people can be quite amusing to watch when they’re head-over-heels in love! Personally, I’ve been there, and my friends have had a good many laughs at me, their little incurable romantic.

shloerie: John definitely is creepy. He’s a sketchball. His nickname should be Sketchy McSketch.

dorydafish: I’m honored to be the first on your favorite stories list! You’ll see the beginnings of how they get together in this chapter. I’m glad you like my writing style!

InspiredSpider: You definitely should try that adaptation! It would be good!

emizulu: I’m glad you like the play so much! It’s one of my favorites, so I’m definitely trying to keep to the original plot line as much as I can.

Anyway, thanks to everyone, don’t forget to R/R, and enjoy chapter 3!

3

(Ben’s Point of View)

“What’s wrong with everyone?” I said to myself. I walked across the yard with my book and one of those folding lawn chairs. “What’s with everyone catching the ‘love bug’ all of a sudden? Seriously, is there anything so terrible about being single?” I set my chair up underneath a large maple tree and opened my book. The sun shone through the foliage and made intricate patterns of light upon the pages.

“And now Chris has to go and get all mushy too. Whatever happened to the ‘dicks before chicks’ idea? I remember when we used to laugh at people like that, who would go completely insane over anything with breasts. And now, here he is, slobbering over Hannah.”

I then had a horrible thought. If this could happen to Chris, could it happen to me? Would I ever find myself going mental over a girl? “Nah, no way,” I thought. After all, no one fit my standards (which I admit were high). My perfect girl would have to be… well, perfect. Or at least as close to it as I could find. She would have to be smart, funny, interesting, and of course beautiful.

Suddenly, I heard voices. Leo, Chris, and Don were walking over toward the pool. I jumped up, grabbed my chair and ran over to hide behind the hedge.

“No way, man. Salsa totally owns guacamole, no question,” said Leo.

“Fine, whatever,” said Chris, conceding.

“Alright, can we please stop arguing about condiments now?” asked an exasperated Don. “It’s just stupid. Let’s talk about something more interesting, like Bea’s new romantic interest. Is she seriously in love with Ben?”

As those words reached my ears, the entire world seemed to come to an abrupt halt. Bea, in love with me? WTF?!

“Definitely, man,” answered Chris. “Hannah told me about it, and she wouldn’t lie. It’s so funny, I never would have thought of Bea as a one-man type of girl, or an any-man type of girl for that matter.”

“It’s so cute the way that she pretends to hate Ben,” said Leo.

“She must be a damn good actress,” said Don.

“Of course, how else could she cover up such a burning passion?” asked Chris. “Hannah told me that every night Bea cries into her pillow and asks God why He made her fall in love with a guy who will never love her back. The poor girl’s miserable.”

I suddenly felt horribly guilty for making Bea go through such agony. I didn’t really think she was capable of human feeling, so this news took me completely by surprise. I snapped out of my daze and tuned back into the conversation.

“Has she said anything to Ben about it?” asked Don.

“No, and I’m pretty sure she never will,” answered Chris. “Hannah said that Bea would rather die than admit that she has feelings for Ben.”

“Maybe we should tell him…” started Leo.

“No way, man,” interrupted Don. “Think about it: if he knew that she loved him, he would make a huge joke out of it and make fun of her until the poor girl died of embarrassment.”

“Could he really be that mean?” asked Chris.

“I wouldn’t put it past him,” answered Don.

Completely outraged, I let out an angry gasp, then quickly cupped my hand over my mouth, hoping that no one had heard me. Apparently no one did.

“Yeah, it’s better if he never finds out about it,” said Leo. “She’s probably too good for him anyway, she deserves someone who will actually love her back. Maybe we should try to talk some sense into her.”

“I guess we could try,” said Don. “Come on, let’s go in. I’m getting hungry for dinner.” With that, the three of them headed back into the house.

I was completely stunned. First of all, I was shocked that Bea loved me. But thinking about it, I concluded that her outward signs of hatred must have been merely masking her true feelings. Secondly, I was incredibly pissed off at Don and Leo for making me out to be such an asshole. Honestly, I would never take a girl’s feelings for me and rub them in her face. I couldn’t believe that my friends thought I was that mean.

What shocked me the most, though, was a new feeling that I found arising in my heart. I had always thought that Bea was hot, but now that I knew she actually had a heart, I was incredibly attracted to her.

Suddenly, the screen door at the back of the house banged open. I looked over and saw the new object of my affection emerge from the kitchen and stomp over to me in an irritated way, her long blonde hair streaming out behind her. How well she masked her true feelings of love for me! Wow, she looked adorable when she was pissed off! She stopped before me with her hands planted firmly on her perfectly curved hips.

“Much as I’d rather you starve, Leo sent me to tell you that dinner’s ready.” She glared at me.

“Oh,” I said, words completely escaping me. I had no idea what to say. Usually, I would just make some kind of snide comment, but now I had no idea how to handle myself around her. “Um… thanks. Er… you look nice today, Bea.” I mentally smacked myself in the head. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Bea looked at me as though she was trying to determine whether or not I was seriously ill. “Ooookay…” she said. “Um, I’m going to go eat. If you’re not hungry, just chill or something. Yeah…” she trailed off and went back inside, looking incredibly confused.

I smiled as I watched her retreating form. I considered what she had said to me. “Oh yes,” I thought to myself. “She was definitely using double entendres. She definitely wants me. Yeah, she does...”

--

(Bea’s Point of View)

Ah, the infinite pleasure of lying on the couch and watching re-runs of I Love Lucy. Dinner was cooking in the oven and smelled absolutely fabulous. As I was sitting there indulging in this vegetative state, the three stooges (a.k.a. my cousin, Don, and Chris) barged in and plopped down on the couch with mutters of “scoot over, Bea, will ya,” and such. Leo immediately decided that he was the commander-in-chief of the couch and snagged the remote, changing the channel to an old show of Nip-Tuck.

“Leo,” I whined. “Knock it off! You know I’m squeamish!” I looked away from the screen.

“Then go outside,” he said, not taking his eyes off the screen. “You can tell Ben that dinner’s almost ready.” At this, the three of them sniggered a bit. They had to be up to something.

Annoyed, I got up and stomped outside. I located Ben sitting behind a hedge by the pool. He looked as though he was deep in thought. Well, surprise, surprise! I didn’t know that he could think!

I started over to him, and he looked up at me. His eyes held a strange mixture of surprise and… affection? I disregarded that and decided that he was probably high or something. I stopped in front of him and placed my hands on my hips.

“Much as I’d rather you starve, Leo sent me to tell you that dinner’s ready.” I glared at him.

“Oh,” he replied. A bit of an awkward silence followed. “Um… thanks. Er… you look nice today, Bea.” He blushed.

Wait, what? It took me a moment to register what had just happened. Ben complimented me? And then he blushed? Wow, it was like some kind of weird parallel universe. I stood there, rather stupefied.

“Ooookay…” I said. “Um, I’m going to go eat. If you’re not hungry, just chill or something. Yeah…” I was way too confused to be eloquent. I went back into the house, leaving Ben behind me.

--

Dinner that night was one of the most awkward situations I have ever found myself in. Leo made me sit across from Ben, and I kept catching him looking at me with this goofy grin on his face and an unfamiliar gleam in his piercing blue eyes. It made me very uncomfortable, and I squirmed in my chair. Why was he looking at me like that?

After the meal, Margaret and Hannah headed upstairs, and I started to go with them before Leo held me back, reminding me that it was my turn to wash the dishes. I groaned and complied.

The mountain of white plates and silver cutlery gleamed maliciously at me. They seemed to realize that they were costing me some of my valuable time, and they reveled in the fact. I grabbed the first plate in the pile and the little scrubber-thing that sat next to the sink and got to work.

At the sound of footsteps, I turned around. Ben walked into the room dressed in a pair of boxers and a white wife-beater. I tried to ignore the fact that he looked insanely sexy, reminding myself that he was also an asshole. When he saw me, he paused, then got a glass from the cupboard and came over to the sink to fill it with tap water. He gulped it down, then turned to me.

“Here, let me help you with the dishes,” he offered.

“No thanks,” I replied, surprised at this sudden show of consideration. “I’ve got it covered.”

“It’ll take you hours at the rate you’re going.” He grabbed a plate and started cleaning. I didn’t stop him, after all I would finish sooner, even if his presence did make me rather uncomfortable.

The two of us stood there in silence for about ten minutes before Ben randomly decided to nudge me with his shoulder. I just gave him a sideways annoyed/wtf kind of glance in return. He nudged me again. This time I gave him a direct and pointed glare.

Yet again, he nudged me.

“Dude, knock it off,” I said, beginning to lose my temper.

“What’ll you do if I don’t?” he asked with a flirtatious grin. Whoa, flirtatious? Did he hit his head on something?

“This,” I responded, losing my cool. I picked up the sprayer-thing that was attached to the sink and gave him a good squirt. I stomped up the stairs, leaving a rather wet Ben behind.

I went down the hallway and as I passed the door to Hannah’s room, I heard voices coming from within. I was about to enter when I heard my name and stopped to listen.

“He’s totally sprung on Bea,” said Hannah.

“You sure?” asked Margaret.

“Yeah, both Don and Chris say it’s true. They told me that they’ve even heard him mumbling her name in his sleep,” Hannah answered. “Chris confronted him about it, and he admitted that he’s in love with her.”

“Should we tell her?”

“Chris said that I should, but I convinced him that it would be better for Ben if Bea never found out that he loves her.”

It was as though someone set off a bunch of firecrackers in my stomach. It began to flip-flop around in every direction. Ben loved me? I couldn’t believe it.

“You’re probably right,” said Margaret. “As much as I love Bea, she is kind of cocky. She’d probably make fun of him. The poor dude would have a bruised ego for life.”

I scowled. I was so not cocky! And I would never do that to a guy, not even Ben!

“It’s too bad that Bea is so set against him,” said Hannah. “He’d make an awesome boyfriend. He’s totally gorgeous. Not that I like him or anything; I do have a boyfriend after all.”

“Yeah. Are you going to tell Bea about all this?” asked Margaret.

“No way,” answered Hannah. “I’m going to try to talk to Ben about it and see if I can convince him to change his mind. He’s a great guy, he can definitely find another girl. Come on, let’s go see if he’s in his room.”

Their footsteps headed for the door and I quickly darted into the bathroom. I heard them whisper to each other as they walked down the hall, and I poked my head out of the door as soon as they had gone.

“Oh my gosh,” I thought to myself. “Am I really that horrible? Am I really such a bitch?” I thought over my past actions toward Ben and concluded that I was. And did he deserve it? No, he didn’t. I had gotten all worked up over one stupid prank. Ben was merely a tragic sufferer of unrequited love. Realizing that I was the person who was causing him pain by not returning his feelings, I felt horrible. I pictured Ben’s face in my mind. He really was gorgeous, I had just kept refusing to acknowledge it because of my pride.

“That’s it,” I thought, feeling love swell up in my heart. “No more of that. I’m going to kiss my arrogance goodbye. Ben baby, I’m yours.”