Surrounded by people yet feeling the same feeling of wanting to be alone, you hate their guts for a pointless reason, jealousy perhaps and feel the need to hide yourself away. I watched with a smirk on my face, as claws grabbed their waists and held them up high, just enough to reveal a dark figure applying pressure to the grip until finally, the lower and upper body separate with a satisfying squelch and a fountain of blood.

The dreams are my helper and torturer, tempting me with what I can’t have and snatching the hopes featured away. Like opening your hand to reveal a bullet in the presence of a suicidal person, he loads it and hopes for the best and pulls the trigger, nothing. The look on his face as he realizes he’s still alive, his brains haven’t splattered the walls behind him and the feeling of hope vanishing within an instant.

The hushed voices suddenly stop as I enter the room, scared perhaps or just being polite. I see it, the anxious looks on their faces as I pass, surrounded by figments, my own personal guards that offer me comfort while reminding me of my lack of sanity. Favoured solitude, only available in a room surrounded by posters and boxes beneath the bed containing past memories, shouts of joy and sorrow echo from each box and force myself to cover my ears and shut my eyes.

Something seemed wrong, the crowd outside grows and grows until eventually they all seem like one immense mass, each similar to the next.

The dreams, which once mocked me yet kept me safe, now welcomed them with open arms and a fake grin. Hordes of forms with no indistinguishable features surround the small room, my last refuge and gaze through the barricaded windows. My gaze turns to horror as their body shapes outstretch, as if to stretch out their arms and violently lash out at the barricaded windows with whip like precision. Everything’s falling apart, they’re now in the room, seemingly staring down at me.

Gasping, I woke up and looked at the alarm, 2am and the voices from below my bed commence their routine. No longer safe in my dreams nor real life, what to do other than accept the unavoidable and find myself surrounded by people I know and secretly love, open my mouth to say something yet remember why no words come out, my tongue is severed from the rest of my body. Simply because I wished I was mute, unable to share my thoughts with anyone and destroy any chances of anyone wanting to be fond of me, and eventually hate me.

(Short, yes but why lose the feeling with longer and pointless sentences)