Through Dancing and Silence

By: K

“Syl, keep the tension in your arms. They’re not made of jelly…”

He turns and walks away. Restarting the music.

She closes her eyes. The soft tunes filling her.

Strong, known arms around her waist.

Step forwards, backwards, swirl around. Follow his lead.

You know this dance… Just give yourself to the music. Let it flow around you, through you.

- - - -

Next week is the performance. You and Jack. You’re lovers in life, dance partners on stage.

You’re nervous. Although you know that the two of you have mastered that dance. There is nothing to fear…

He smiles when he sees how excitable you are. He gentle wraps his arms around you and you lean in in the touch.

“Let’s go to ‘the Club’ tonight. Everybody will be there. And I’ve heard Tom’s going to be DJ… It will be fun and you’ll be able to put your mind on something else…”

The soft whispering tickles your ear.

A small nod, before you turn and gently claim his lips.

--

The colourful lights blind you for a second, but you immediately recognise the others.

Cat is here, and Alan, Simon, Lucia, Tom as DJ, Chris, Lena, Tanja, Ivan, Ilaine, Lianna, Sander, Sophie, Alex and Will.

A smile graces your lips as you silently greet them.

That’s what you love about this place. You know and trust everyone. Yet the silence remains. There’s only dancing. Through the movements and expressions all of you say enough.

It was a promise they all made three years ago. No stranger would enter here, and no word would be spoken.

It’s funny how many different souls can find this so comforting.

The music flows and you forget everything. Tonight you prefer the fast songs…

- - - - -

The phone rings. You’re singing loudly under the shower. Your mum is home, she’ll answer…

You open your eyes when the door opens.

“Sylvia… It’s Jack…”

The water is turned off. You grape a towel and wrap it around you before stepping out of the shower.

Something in your mother’s voice has warned you that Jack isn’t on the phone, but that it’s about him…

“He died in a car crash…”

Everything else that she says disappears to the background. ‘Died in a car crash.’

You lean against the radiator. Your legs can’t hold you anymore. Tears are rolling down freely. You haven’t even noticed.

Arms hold you close. Your head on a shoulder. But it’s not him. It are not his strong, familiar arms who’re embracing you. It’s not his muscled, well memorised body you’re leaning against. You’ll never be able to anymore…

- - - - -

Today is the performance. Your mother cancelled for you. Explaining the situation.

The park is quiet. No one is out here. Even the birds are silent. Would they know? Can they feel the pain that’s burning inside of you? Do they grieve together with you?

You’ve sworn to yourself that you’ll never dance again. Never again… Even though you know that Jack wouldn’t have wanted that…

But you just can’t. You simply can’t dance without him by your side.

That part is over. It will never come back. He will never come back…

Someday the pain will go away. Someday the wounds will heal. That day will come.

But dancing, it’s over…

&The End&