The Dinner

Leah fidgeted. She was sitting at her ‘table for two’ in some fancy no name restaurant waiting for her special guest. Her foot bounced up and down hitting the stem of the table, as her hand took it upon it self to twirl a strand of hair. She could practically picture her mother in the back of her mind, a glass of whiskey in her hand, slurring the words “Be Still!” The thought of her mother just made her more nervous.

This year, like last, and the one before, and for as far back as she could remember Leah dreaded this meeting. It was because like last year and all those before, this one meeting had the power and ability to cause a rippling effect, that would thoroughly ruin her façade of happiness. See, her life had been scheduled around her since the age of two, when her parents finally realized everything they loved about each other was just a trick of the light and got a divorce. It was then that the court scheduled her life-to the very hour-week days with her mom, weekends with her father. She got to chose who she stayed with during breaks, of course, because in the judges eyes that was fair. Just the judges though.

As Leah picked up her fork and tapped it on her knife she gave a little chuckle to the absurdity of it all. Divorced for 14 years, her parents were still able to drag her in the middle of each situation. It was hard to remember who exactly was the child in this arrangement, who was the victim when everyone acted like one?

It was the bell of the restaurant door that finally knocked Leah out of her internal digression down the complication that was her life. She quickly looked up and gave a sigh of relief when it wasn’t her father at the door. As much as she loved her father, this meeting just made her ache with unwelcome anticipation. She took a deep breath, a sip of her water, and glanced at her watch. He was five minutes late. She didn’t know whether to be thankful or infuriated. She picked up her spoon, blew hot air into it, and stuck in onto her nose. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the expensive people in their expensive clothes looking down their expensive noses at her, but it didn’t matter. Her hands were full of nervous energy and this was the only way to release it.

The bell rang again and she looked up so quickly the spoon clattered on the table right as her father walked into the restaurant. He was dressed in his over priced suit, carrying his stuffed leather briefcase, looking every bit as frazzled as she felt.

To any other father and daughter, a meeting for dinner wouldn’t be so stressful, but they both knew that their situation was different. That for them her decision would spark World War…what number were they at now?

Her father saw her immediately and smiled as he walked in her direction. “Good evening Leah.” The professional greeting was murmured under her father’s breath as he sat down, looking every bit like he was about to meet his client instead of his daughter. “Have you been waiting long?” Her father asked as he placed his napkin on his lap and took a sip of water.

“Not really, I just got here myself” Leah lied. It was just easier that way.

“Well, I’m sorry to make you wait regardless.” He placed his hand over her own but his tone was forced, like he knew he should be trying to make her feel comfortable, but unaware of how to accomplish that feat.

Leah chuckled to her self. She could already see him setting up the chess pieces in his mind, attempting to strategize his way forever into her heart. Or for at least how long it will take her to chose his side, because that’s what these past fourteen years have been about. Sides.

The waiter quickly approached the table, which surprised Leah, because when she came here with her mother she usually sat at the bar and it took forever to get service. After three drinks though, her mother hardly cared about service. All she cared about was her drink being topped off and flirting with the bartender.

Her father began to order for both of them and with each word that passed through his lips Leah gripped the table cloth tighter and tighter. It was time someone reminded her father she wasn’t five years old. It wasn’t until she felt her finger nails digging into her hand that she let go and took a deep breath. “One fight’s enough for today,” she reasoned with herself.

“So how’s school treating you?” Her father asked once the waiter left.

“Good.” If there was one thing Leah hated, it was small talk.

“How’s…” He looked pained as he opened the file in his mind that contained his

only daughters life, trying to find anything to continue this conversation. “Jeremy?”

“Ask Bianca, his new girlfriend, we broke up two months ago, dad.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” He straightened his tie and gave an awkward little cough.

Leah tried her hardest not to roll her eyes, but she really couldn‘t help herself, “It’s ok, I’m over it.”

Conversations weren’t their forte. When she spent her weekends at her father’s

house, they usually played a sport, or went fishing, or watched a movie, something that

didn’t really involve much communication. They both liked it that way.

Dinner arrived and they ate in silence. Keeping their heads down and avoiding eye contact was the key. The food passed tasteless down their throats. They weren’t here to eat, they were hear to draw battle lines. The sounds of forks and knives composed the soundtrack to their meal.

As the plates were being taken away, Leah figured she mind as well help the time pass before the check arrived and continue the torturous small talk. “How’s work?”

“You know how it goes, just got a new case, Mr. Harrington vs. Miss Davis, it’s a DUI turned manslaughter case…” That would be when Leah tuned out.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a family of four waited to be seated. The little girl was wearing a ‘Kiss me it’s my Birthday’ pin and for all the outside world to perceive, they were the picture perfect image of an ideal family. She knew not to be deceived though, even her parents put aside their differences a couple of years ago and attempted to come together to celebrate her birth.

Leah could still remember how it felt standing in the middle of both her parents as they waited to be seated at her favorite restaurant of the month. They stood stiff, and every so often one would place a hand on Leah’s shoulder and squeeze lovingly. Leah couldn’t stop smiling, this was the first time she was actually going to eat together with both her parents in over 5 years.

“Table for three right this way.” Leah’s smile only grew, “A table for three,” she thought to herself, “Like a real family.”

“What will you be having to drink this evening?”

“Whisky, dry.” Leah’s mother looked across at her ex, who just made a show of placing his napkin on his lap, “Make that a double.”

“Rita,” Her father put his hands together under his chin, in that fake understanding sort of way, and looked straight at her mother, “it’s only 6 o’clock.”

“William, dear,” she spit the word like curse, “mind your own business.”

It was then that the Leah made the realization that her parents were, in fact, divorced for a reason and this table of three had a huge crack in the middle, with her parents on either side. Leah held her breath through dinner and treaded with caution over the egg shells. They managed to stay unbroken until after dinner when someone announced presents time.

A childish game broke out instantly with the opportunity to out do the other.

“That’s a wonderful idea,” Her mother beamed as she lifted the birthday bag onto the table.

“I agree.” Her father smirked and pulled out a little wrapped box from his jacket pocket.

“Who first?” They asked at the same time, both with expectant smiles on their faces.

“Well,” She looked at both of then and cringed at their expectant grins . “Mom’s I guess, since she pulled hers out first.”

Inside her mother’s gift was a beautiful, hand crafted, beaded shawl.

“Thank you mom, it’s wonderful.” She put it on her shoulders and felt cozy and warm.

Her father’s was next. Inside the small box was a pair of diamond earrings. “Oh wow, Dad!” Her face went slack and her mouth opened in shock.

Her mother looked on disapprovingly “William, isn’t she a bit young to be receiving diamonds?”

“I think she’s the perfect age.” He said in the matter of fact tone he usually addressed his clients with.

“She’ll lose them, then what will you do.” Her mother stated animatedly with her hands.

“I will not!” Leah sat up offended.

“Stay out of this Leah.” Her dad’s face grew red with the order.

“How could you get her something like that, with out discussing it first?”

“I don’t have to run everything by you, Rita” He began to stand up.

“When it comes to Leah, you do, we’re both her parents.” She began to gather her things.

“Well then I don’t want you drinking around her.” Leah’s mother dropped her things immediately. “What?”

“It’s a bad influence!” He stated .

“That’s ridiculous. Come on Leah, we’re leaving.”

“It’s Saturday, she comes with me”

Leah was sitting shaken. What just happened? Where did her table for three go? How did this become yet another game of tug-of-war?

“So basically we don‘t know what the judge will decide”, As the memory began to fade and the restaurant flooded back into view Leah looked up for the first time and analyzed her fathers face. He was a kind hearted man, she knew that. It wasn’t always like this, she used to dance on his feet and have her teddy bear perform their wedding. Once upon a time she was daddy’s little girl. He used to win her prizes at the fair and take her to see the boats coming into the harbor. Then daddy’s little girl grew up, and with the baby fat went their knowledge on how to communicate. Life got in the way of their relationship. He went to meetings instead of open houses and she stopped telling him her every secret and the wounds became to deep to heal. What she was about to do would, without a doubt, cut another wound, but it was time to stop grasping for the past and start looking towards the future, a future where she made her own decisions and didn’t get hit back and forth like a ping pong on the table of life.

“Dad, why don’t we just talk about why we’re here, before the check comes and we run out of time.” The man, God bless him, looked shocked even choked a bit on the water he had just brought to his lips.

“We’re here because I wanted to have dinner with my lovely daughter.” His hand found hers across the table and he squeezed in a mock of reassurance.

The hand burned with false pleasantries and Leah quickly pulled away. “No we aren’t dad, we’re here because you want to talk me into spending this summer with you.”

“I would love to spend this summer with you, Leah, but it is not something I would talk you into, if you want to spend yet another summer with your Mother, I’d understand completely.”

And there it was. The underlining guilt that the man added snidely as the

undertone in all his comments.

The nervous tension that was building up inside of Leah snapped. She no longer wanted to fidget, or be polite. She threw down her napkin and opened her mouth, and took off the façade. “Dad, for every summer since I could talk this conversation has occurred. No matter who I chose one of you will use my decision for the rest of the year against each other successfully managing to put me in the middle of everything!”

“Leah Maria Ginsberg, lower your voice.” Her father hushed as he looked around, making sure none of his expensive clients saw the scene. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you and I don’t know what your talking about. You’re acting like your mother. This isn’t a game, and there are no teams. I’m just here to tell you that this summer, your step mother and I will be taking a trip to Bermuda and would love it if you came along.”

“And mom will be taking a trip to Massachusetts to visit family and would love it if I came along too.” She reminded him under my breath.

“Yes, that is very true. And like always, we leave the decision up to you.”

“How kind.”

The ultimate Catch-22 of every kid who’s parents are divorced. The easy way of asking ‘Who do you love more?’

Leah couldn’t do it anymore. She had discussed it over with her friends long before this dinner took place, and this time, she had a knew solution to this festering problem.

Her fingers were dying to fidget with something on the table but she constrained the feeling and stated with forced confidence. “Dad, I’m doing neither.”

“What?”

Crossing her arms, she leaned back in her chair, and stated, “This summer, I will be going out of town with Julie and her family, they invited me and I accepted.”

“But what about your mother and I?” She saw the wound begin to form, but she forced herself not to care. She had to hold on to the hope that maybe, getting past this, would just strengthen the relationships of all involved.

“I’m sure you can manage to figure out another way to put me in the middle, but after fourteen years, I’m ending this one.” And with that, Leah walked out of the restaurant.