“How do you get yourself into these predicaments?” Faraji asked as he sat down on his bed.

Kyre was across the room sitting at the small table and eating a pastry. Pryene hadn’t wanted to talk about it in front of her, but decided that she might be able to offer some female insight to her problem.

“I didn’t plan this and I didn’t even show him any interest. It just happened.”

Faraji snorted, “Just happened? You and I both know that nothing just happens, Pryene.”

She felt a little exposed standing in front of the closed door like she was a child being scolded by her father. It was no surprised to her that Faraji was going to lecture her about Zsusanu ways. She actually had hoped that he would, she needed someone to tell her how disloyal she was being to her vows if she went through with any of this.

“You have to bond with a Zsusanu. You have to bare pure blood Zsusanu to take on the vows. If you fail to do this, then you are breaking your vows to father, your family, and your people. Do you understand this?” Faraji’s voice held no anger, he was calm as he spoke.

“Yes, and I don’t want to do that. But… but…”

“But what?”

“But she’s in love with him!” Kyre barked from across the room.

Pryene immediately shook her head when Faraji’s heated glare fell onto her. “No, not in love! In lust, deep infatuation, but not love!” She gazed over at Kyre to inform her not to help anymore.

Kyre stood up and came to stand next to her, “You know in Zsusa when someone takes the five generation oath they never have to say they will only marry Zsusanu.”

“That’s because they are in Zsusa. Odds are they are going to marry one.” Faraji informed her.

“My point was that it’s not part of our people’s oath. It was added by those outside of Zsusa to ensure that the bloodline isn’t corrupted during the time of the oath.” Kyre frowned and looked to Pryene, “If he is the one then don’t pay attention to what the damn alterations say. That isn’t the pure oath.”

“It is the oath I took and my word means something to me. If I had taken the other oath then this would not be an issue.” Pryene looked back at her brother.

“You said that he was getting married in the summer?” Faraji asked and she answered with a nod of her head. “Then you have to pick between Thane and Cian. When spring comes we will all travel back to Zsusa and you and I can be married on the same day. You will both be spoken for and I know that you won’t commit adultery.”

Kyre sighed, “Do you want to spend the rest of your life with Thane and Cian or do you want to spend it with the knight?”

“I don’t know!” Pryene snapped, “I barely know any of them!”

“You should add the knight to the rotation. Give Thane the mornings, Cian the afternoons, and the knight the evenings.”

“I can’t bond with him, Kyre. My vow says…”

She threw up her hand, “That part of the vow means nothing to the people of Zsusa. If it means so much to you, then try to get any children bared to mate with Zsusanu to ensure a thick blood line.”

“I can’t do that. I swore to bond with a Zsusanu in front of my entire family. Besides what kind of example would I be setting if I told my children to mate with a pure blood when I did not?”

“How many half breeds do you expect to find down here? Your children will be the only ones! So they will have to summon suitors from Zsusa. Of course, they will probably not get the best of suitors since they are half breeds, but…”

“No, I am not damning my children to lesser…”

“Hey!” Faraji yelled, “Does the knight even know that you are serious in this relationship? Would he even be willing to marry you? Perhaps, he is only trying to add another woman to his bed before his wedding day.”

“Faraji!” Kyre barked.

Pryene nodded, “That might be true. I had not thought about such.” She sighed, “Come we should get out to the meadow for practice, it’s getting late.”

---

Pryene had denied to see Thane until later that evening, mostly because she had abandoned Cian so early. After they had all gone through the routine, she waved her goodbye to Kyre, Faraji, and Cian and went to spend the rest of the evening with her other suitor.

Thane looked annoyed. The usual kindness on his face was absent as he walked down the halls with her to the library. It had begun to rain and they decided to spend the evening indoors. As they walked together, Pryene tried to think of a way to ask about his mood without posing it in question form.

When he opened the library door for her and stepped inside, she had finally created one. “You seem to be in a rather peculiar mood today. You may discuss it with me, if you wish.” She said as she sat down in one of the overstuffed chairs.

He began to build a fire in the fireplace, still not speaking to her. When he was through, he sat down in the other chair across from her.

“Well, I suppose we could sit in silence.” Her eyes wandered to the bookshelves to find anything that would interest her.

“I saw you today.” His deep voice spoke.

Her eyes shot back over to him, “Yes, you are seeing me now.”

“I saw you with the knight, the one called Adrian. There are many rumors about the two of you, but I never believed them. If you already had a suitor chosen, I do not see why you forced both me and the monk to make the journey.” His eyes were dark as he leaned back in the chair.

“I have no chosen a suitor.”

“A Zsusanu female does not kiss a man like that unless she has chosen him. If you have not picked this male as your mate, I would know what game you are playing with him.”

Pryene’s eyes dropped to the fire when she swallowed. “It was momentary weakness. I beg you not to tell anyone.” She looked back up to him, “The oath that I have taken says that I must marry a pureblooded Zsusanu. Adrian is but a forth, and… we are attracted to each other.”

“I see.” Thane curled his lip in disgust. “Then I suppose Cian and I should return to Zsusa before winter arrives.”

“No!” She held up her hand to stop him from standing up in his chair. “Please, do not leave. I promise that it will not happen again. I have spoken to my brother on the matter and I know where my priorities are. If I must I will ask for your forgiveness in the matter. I do not like the thought of you being upset with me over this mistake.”

Thane remained silent as if he was waiting for her to explain more.

“Have you told Cian about this?”

“No, I have not.”

Pryene nodded her head, “What can I do to prove to you that I am sincere?” She cursed herself for asking two questions, though she wasn’t certain if Thane was still interested in courting her anyway.

“Chose me.”

His words shocked her into a brief silence, “I… it has only been a month, Thane. I hardly think it would be proper for a female of my stature to chose a male that soon.”

“Proper? No. Courteous? Yes.”

“Courteous?”

He gave a gentle nod, “Indeed. As I stated before, winter is coming. It would be better if you chose one of us now and allowed the other to return home. This way when we travel back in the spring, your other suitor will not be there to glare jealousy between us. It will also allow us to get to know each other properly without all the formalities of our customs.”

“You do make sense, but I would hardly want to be thought of as improper.”

He crossed his arms, “What you did in the hall with that male was hardly proper.”

She shuddered in embarrassment, “You don’t understand, Thane. He has hounded me since the day of my arrival. Asking me for kisses and confessing a deep attraction to me. It’s become a chore to keep him at bay, and at times I just give in.” That lie hurt her heart to say, because she really did enjoy the way that Adrian treated her.

“All the more reason to chose me as your suitor. Do you think that Cian could keep him from you? How could he protect you from the knight? He may be able to fight well, but as a monk he would never physically protect you. It’s against his beliefs and he knows that you could protect yourself. I could shield you from his advances and…”

“Please, Thane, stop. I will think on what you have said and give my answer in four weeks. Just allow me another month to make my decision.”

He bowed his head, “Do not believe that I am blackmailing you, Miaca Pryene. I would never tell anyone what I have seen. That would be vicious of me and it is not in my nature. However, I feel it is unfair to both Cian and myself to be placing all our energies in you when there is already a male in your heart. There are several receiving females in my village that I could be attempting to court at this moment.”

“I understand, Thane. Thank you for telling me that you knew and explaining the situation of how it may be perceived to me.” She sighed.

A smirk appeared on the corner of his lips, “Cian bragged about receiving a kiss from you earlier in the day. It seems that I am the only one of your suitors who has gone without.”

Pryene smiled, “It was hardly a kiss. I barely touched his lips. He was going on about how I should show a little more interest. I kissed him so I could leave. Though I enjoy his conversations, at times he can be trying.”

“Would it be too much to ask considering our previous topic that I receive one as well? I feel it would only be fair.”

Her laughter filled the room, “Oh, you try to blackmail me into taking you as my suitor and now you are speaking of fairness in kisses?”

“I am not trying to blackmail you!” He snapped.

“I was teasing.”

Thane’s frown reversed into a wide smile, “Forgive me, I didn’t expect such from you.” Standing up, he positioned himself in front of her before kneeling down.

“I never said yes.”

“You never said no either.”

“You are being rather bold for a Zsusanu male. Perhaps I should deny you to put you back into your place.”

Thane hands dropped to her thighs which caused her to jump slightly. “I believe that we both know what we want. I believe that we are both dominate people and it may cause us to butt heads upon occasion.” His hands wrapped around her upper thighs. “But I also believe there are times when you do not want to be in charge of a situation. Much like there are times when I would much rather let someone else lead.”

“Oh, and what are those situations?” She could feel the warmth of his hands through her leather leggings. It was an odd sensation as she had never had someone hold her in such a manner. The distraction was so great that she didn’t realize she asked another question.

“In battle or during hunts, I prefer someone to lead me and tell me what to do. Perhaps it’s because I am not very good at creating strategies.” As he spoke, he began to pull her body forward in the chair. She wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing, but held firm out of curiosity. “For you, I believe it’s relationships. You always place yourself among others who take control of the relationship, but allow you to be the one in control of any danger. Charday, for example.”

“I…”

“Shh… allow me to finish. I was told much about you from your brother during our journey. He told me how when you went on hunting expeditions with your father and others that you would always plan the entire event.” His eyes had been staring at his own hands, but they looked up into her own at that point. “Do you see how easily we fit? I can take orders during battle and throughout any tasks assigned to us. While you can allow me the lead during our more private moments.”

“Thane…”

With a firm yank on her thighs, Pryene found herself straddling Thane’s thighs. His arms around her back which kept her from falling. To keep herself comfortable, she inadvertently wrapped her arms around his neck.

“That wasn’t funny.” She said firmly.

“I am the better match for you. Even you can plainly see that. Cian may know poetry and have stimulating ideas, but you are not a philosopher. You are a warrior like me, and we can benefit from one another.”

“I told you that I would tell you my decision in a month’s time.”

He nodded, “Yes, but I wanted to explain to you the benefits of choosing me.”

“I’m sure that Cian has a persuasive argument for me as well.”

“Ask him. I am certain that his is the weaker deal.”

Thane gave her no time to retort. He silenced anything she was about to say with his own lips. Taking much more then what Cian had received. Pryene refused to give in to him when his tongue tried to lick it’s way in through her teeth. A low frustrated growl emanated from deep within his throat when he realized that was something she would not do.

She found one of her hands making it way up into his long hair as the kiss continued. Though she hated to admit it, she did find it enjoyable. Even if the heat she felt within her body during Adrian’s kiss was sadly absent. She realized that Thane was just a more serious Adrian, but couldn’t figure out why she was not attracted to him in the same way. Perhaps it was because she refused to allow either Thane or Cian into her heart. Not that she had exactly given Adrian the key.

When Thane realized that she wouldn’t allow the kiss to go any farther. He grabbed her thighs and stood up. Planting her in the chair, he remained in front of her. “I shall allow you to think on my words.” With that he exited the library, leaving Pryene to enjoy the fire alone.

---

Standing in the hallway, Pryene slept with her head slightly back. She had been so lost in her unconsciousness that the sounds of a man making his way down the hall didn’t wake her. Nor did she notice when he stopped directly in front of her and waited for her to acknowledge him.

The sound of him clearing his throat forced her eyes open and she was shocked to see Adrian’s glaring eyes. “Where were you?”

Her eyes were deadlocked on his and she had no idea why she feigned ignorance, she knew exactly what he meant. “What?”

“The lake at midnight, remember you said you would meet me there.” There was an annoyance in his voice that she was not use to hearing from him.

A gentle swallow was the only answer that she gave.

Adrian sighed and looked down the hallway briefly before turning his eyes back to her, “Pryene, do you want me or not? It’s a simple question that requires a simple answer.”

“I… I have my oath.” She stood from her leaning position to stand even with him.

“If it weren’t for the oath, would you chose me over those suitors?”

Her eyes dropped to the ground, the answer was yes, but she didn’t want him to believe that she meant she would pick him over the oath. Folding her hands in front of her, she fidgeted with her hands.

He exhaled in defeat, “Why did you kiss me in the hall today then?” He felt the pain in his chest from her response. All day he had been looking forward to their meeting at the lake, it had been all that he could think of. To have waited over an hour for her to appear had given him the answer he needed, but he had wanted to hear it from her lips.

“I apologize, Adrian. Our lives won’t permit us to be together unless we throw away all that we stand for. My heart wishes for yours, but everything else tells me that it can not be.”

He reached out his hand and rubbed her upper arm, “Would it be so wrong if you did not birth full blooded Zsusanu babes? Could they not carry on the vow? That is the only reason that you refuse to be with me, isn’t it?”

Pryene looked up to him with a sadness in her eyes. To hear him speak of children told her that he was not just looking for another notch in his bedpost, he honestly believed there could be more with her. It broke her heart to know that he saw a future with her, where she could not see one with him. “That oath is everything to me. My father bestowed it upon me with faith that I would uphold it’s promise. I am bound by the words that I spoke when I undertook this oath and to break them would be betraying my family, my people, and myself.”

“Just like my oath when I joined the order.” Adrian nodded, “I suppose that it is something that I must respect. I am glad to know that you feel more then friendship towards me, and yet it hurts more knowing that it can never be.”

Cocking her head to the side, she frowned. “You seem more receptive towards my rejection then I had expected.”

“I had prepared myself for this. I knew that you would either accept us or deny me. I promised myself that I would agree to whatever you wanted.” His eyes dropped briefly to the ground before returning to her own. “After I am wed to Karessa, I will begin traveling the lands to wherever I am needed by my order. I do not think that I could be faithful if I remained here. It seems that I will not be granted true love nor happiness in my lifetime, but I do wish that you find it.”

“Don’t say such things, Adrian. Love and happiness are where you find it and rarely where you seek it. Karessa could be your true love.”

He shook his head gently, “My heart beat wildly within my chest the moment I set eyes upon you. I thought that it was because of my excitement to meet a Zsusanu, but I realize now that it was love. A raw form of love, not the maturing love that I am slowly gathering for you. I must take leave of your presence and hope that someday I might forget how you once made me feel.”

“We barely knew each other, I would hardly think you could love me so soon.” Pryene swallowed again.

“I feel for you the way no other has made me feel. If it is not love then I have no other name for it.”

“Lust.” She responded slowly.

Adrian grinned, “No, I’ve felt such before.” He sighed, “I knew that our hearts were meant to be, but our lives are not. Perhaps in a past life we were of the same soul, but in this lifetime it shall not be. I can not stand by and watch you love another. I hope that I do not view your face again.” With that he turned to walk away.

Pryene grabbed his upper arm and when he turned to look at her, she kissed him deeply. When their lips parted their eyes locked for a moment, “I feel the same way.”

“About love or never wanting to see me again?” His thumb gently rubbed her cheek.

“Both.” She kissed him on the cheek, “Farewell, may life be good to you.”

“And to you.” His heart dropped as she released him and allowed him to disappear down the hallway.

Pryene watched him go and when she was sure that he was out of sight, she allowed several tears to run down her cheek. With a whispered promise to herself, she swore that she would never again feel sorrow for this lost love.