“trance”

darling,
didn't you know
that there's this place you can go
when you're too tired to cry?
this room with a window
looking out on the sea
and a pillow on the floor,
and i know you're so tired

so here is this place
where you can rest your head -

you're so very sad

and i need you to know
that these are the times
when we'll remember what we did
and forget who we were -
like how i did your makeup
that one day,
and we spent the night making love.
and i cried.
you said that you understood that night

but

i didn't know how you could
because i didn't understand,
and how could you love him
more than me
and how could you let me
paint your face
and wonder why i cry?

and then the days just kept flowing by,

and always we'd make love
and always i'd cry.

but now you're not around
and i left your face in the mirror
on the wall in my bedroom
because you went just so far away
and i miss you.

but here now i have someone else,
and he won't let me paint his face
but i don't cry
when we make love
and he never admitted to understanding
but i understood
so somehow things were okay -

and now here i am
on the grass near your new house,
this grey stone
with the markings etched in,
and i'm crying
and remembering
what we did but not who we were,
like that one day
when i did your makeup
and that night
we made love.
and i cried.
and you said you understood,
and i couldn't see how
because i didn't understand,
but i loved you anyway,
and i think you knew.

you knew.